(Closed) Plus One Etiquette

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think you did anything wrong, as long as they are established couples, (and I think 2 years is very established!) 

Post # 4
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Why was your sister offended when you included her boyfriends name whom she has been with for 2 years? lol I’m sorry but to me that is just alittle odd.. I mean, would she NOT bring him and someone else?

I am doing a family style wedding, so I an addressing it to the man/woman if they are a couple living together and putting “and family” meaning their kids if they have any.

If they are single with no kids I am simply putting their name.  If they want to bring a date that’s fine, if not even better haha


Post # 5
532 posts
Busy bee

I think you are right, I would definitely put the SO’s name as long as they are an established couple.

Post # 6
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@Cem0930:  “So I’ve always thought that the etiquette on invitations was that for established relationships, instead of “and guest” you would put the name of the significant other.”

Close. What is proper is that you should treat all your guests with equal courtesy, and there should be no people at your party who are not your guests. You show courtesy by addressing each guest by name, and by sending each guests invitation to his or her own address. So if the “significant other” lives with the person they will be accompanying, you address the invitation to both of them just as if they were married. If they are NOT living together, you send two invitations: one to each of them, by name.

Your sisters are badly mistaken to think they are entitled to bring guests to another hostess’s event. As hostess, you are responsible to ensure that your guests are safe under your roof, including being safe from meeting inappropriate or dangerous people. How can you ensure that, if you don’t even know who is coming?

Now, if you do send the boy-friend’s invitation to his own address, then you are NOT telling your sister he “has to” bring him as a guest. They can both come independently if she doesn’t want to “bring him”. But she doesn’t get to bring any different guest. And that is what proper etiquette says!


Post # 7
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think you did everything reall well.  Looks like no one can be pleased…  Anyway, would you invite her Boyfriend or Best Friend without her? Probably not.  So sending one invitation was just perfect.  She can always RSVP 1 instead of 2.  I don’t get the problem.  Personally, I don’t like “and guest”, I don’t know what the ettiquette is but it alwasy seems a bit “and random stranger I’ve possibly never met before” to me!

Post # 9
337 posts
Helper bee

@Cem0930:  If somebody has a boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance(e)/husband/wife at the time the invitations go out, they should be invited with their SO by name (doesn’t matter if they’ve been dating 3 years, 3 months, or 3 weeks).  It’s not a summons, she doesn’t have to bring him BUT it shows you are inviting him like you should and prevents the “well, you said ‘and guest’ but I decided to bring a random friend instead of my SO”.

Post # 10
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

As long as they are established, I think it is appropriate to include them on the invite.  To be honest, I would be offended (and I have been in the past) if I was engaged to someone and they didn’t put the SO’s name on the envelope.

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