(Closed) Plus one for a friend’s boyfriend whom I’ve never met??

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I didn’t give all my guests a +1, but here’s my “rule” that I followed:

Give +1s to BF/GFs that we actually know and have met a few times and they’ve been dating for, let’s say, 6 months or more. (For a couple girlfriends, I met their Boyfriend or Best Friend or potential Boyfriend or Best Friend a couple times, but they broke up between making lists and receiving RSVPs, so good thing we didn’t invite them!)


Give a +1 to guests coming from pretty far out of town.


Give a +1 to guests who won’t know anyone else at the wedding.

Post # 4
46411 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What were your criteria to give plus ones? I would use the same for her.

Post # 5
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It really depends on how much that friend means to you. I am putting most of my money towards food and drink and expect tons of extras I haven’t counted on, but I’m also doing mine backyard style so I can afford to feed a massive amount of people.

Post # 6
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Are you inviting +1s in general? I’m having a small wedding too but we decided to invite everyone with a guest. I have friends who are currently single that I invited with +1s. Our wedding is 5 hrs from my hometown though, and I didn’t want anyone to have to travel alone. If she will truly know no one, it’s better to let her bring someone.

Post # 7
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

No. The only “guests” of guests that etiquette requires you to invite are the spouses of married guests, the other half of engaged couples, and the other half of couples who live together (because etiquette assumes that they are secretly married.)  There is no obligation for you to extend an invitation to your friend’s boyfriend unless or until he meets one of those three criteria.

Post # 8
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It’s totally what makes you feel comfortable. I’m omitting certain potential +1s on that basis.

It’s your day, your decision.

Post # 9
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would definitely give her the option to bring her Boyfriend or Best Friend or a friend.  I’m in the camp that all SO’s need to be invited – it’s the polite thing to do.  They are a social unit and it’s rude to split up social units.  Also, since it sounds like she’s out of town and porobably won’t know many people, if anyone, you think should give her the option to bring a friend if her Boyfriend or Best Friend can’t make it.  It’s not required, but, once again, it’s the nice and polite thing to do.

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