(Closed) Plus one problems

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

My feeling is that you should accommodate your brother–not because he’ll throw a hissy fit, but because it’s a nice gesture for someone you’re that close to.  If you’re still leaning against it, see if your folks have an opinion (since they know and love you both and may have a different perspective.  You might also be able to say "the save the dates have already gone out to our list but as we start hearing from people, we might be able to add a date for you if people can’t come.)  That being said, I don’t think you should feel obligated to add plus ones for anyone else.   

And the way not to resent him on your wedding day?  Look at that wonderful husband of yours.  Your brother & his date will shut up and you can ignore them. 

Good luck! 

Post # 4
596 posts
Busy bee

I think ErinMarguerite’s response is perfect!  Be sure to let your guests know that you don’t think you can accomodate them at this point so that you set the expectation as "most likely no but I will keep your request in mind."  I do think that your brother should be allowed to bring a plus one, since he’s family.  Weddings tend to be very romantic so it can be very depressing to attend without your significant other – who are you supposed to dance with during all the slow songs???

Post # 5
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am having this same problem.  I only allowed +1s for married, engaged, or living together.  People that have called to request a + 1 or RSVP-ed for several more people than I alloted, I called and explained the space constaints.  Most (but not all) have been very accommodating.  If only these 2 people have requested +1s, is it worth the battle or can you squeeze in 2 more people?

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