(Closed) Plus One Question

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Since they are in your bridal party and have probably done a lot and spent a lot of money, it would be nice to let them bring who they want so they have someone to dance, talk to etc.  It’s definitley awkward to be totally single at a wedding.  It’s not like it’s your whole guest list, it’s just the wedding party.  I think it would be a nice gesture to let them do that since they’ve put in a lot of effort for your wedding, I’m sure.  It’s nice to have a friend/ date at a wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Britt4nyBride: I remember another Bee on this sight saying when you give a guest a +1, you almost “loose control” over who they choose to invite. It kinda makes sense.

I promise on the day of the wedding you will not notice these people. My wedding day was a blur LOL.

Post # 5
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A few in our bridal party are not bringing dates, they’re bringing their drinking buddies.  It’s kind of annoying when I think about how much our per-plate cost is, but ultimately they get to decide who they bring as a guest.

Post # 6
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

@Cheeks225:  I agree with this. All of my bridal party got a plus one or even plus 2

Post # 7
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

I agree with everyone else.  Plus one does not include “as long as it’s someone I approve of or you have been dating for at least 6 months”.  I remember when my best friend got married the first time and told me I needed to break up with my boyfriend before her wedding because she didn’t want him there!    

Post # 8
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m going to take the other side and say that “plus one” definitely does not mean a co-worker who was not originally invited to the wedding.  Why would that person want to go, anyways?  I also offered plus ones to the bridal party (4 out of 6 of whom have serious partners/married/etc.)  My MOH nearly brought a friend of hers from work, which I will admit I wasn’t super excited about, but was happy to let her do if that’s what she wanted to anways because I love her and her being happy is important.  However, that doens’t mean that you can’t be irked when people think it means bring a buddy, a family member, a co-worker, etc.  It’s just probably worth it to use the boards as a venting tool and not mention it to them.  Good luck! 

Post # 9
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree. We have come across the same issue. Gave everyone a +1 but no one in the bridal party is really in a serious relationship. Most are coming solo, a few are bringing a date, and some are bringing a friend. We even have the same issue where I invited a co-worker and her husband, but instead of her husband she is bringing another co-worker who wasn’t invited.. awkward! It is a little annoying but in the grand scheme of things I just figure it’s not worth stressing over!

Post # 11
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have been on the other end of this. One of my good friends was in a wedding a couple years ago as a bridesmaid. She asked me if I wanted to be her guest. I was also friends with the bride and groom but was not invited, which I understood. I know you have to draw lines somewhere! I declined the offer to be the guest. Clearly the bride and groom cut me, and I thought it was rude to go as a guest just because the bridesmaid had a plus one. To me, a guest is offered so you can bring a significant other.

 

We also didn’t do guests because we didn’t want people bringing people just because, and that would have added over 25 additionalpeople to our list (And we were already inviting 200-having 170 come). We extended this rule to our wedding party. There are a few people in our wedding party who are in serious relationships/married so obviously their SO’s are coming. Otherwise the same rule applied. I know they’ve spent a lot of time/effort to be there for us, but I didn’t think it was fair to the other guests and it saved us a lot of nightmares!

Post # 12
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ALee17:  awkwardd as the other coworker i wouldn’t have wanted to go if i wasn’t personally invited people are so weird LOL

Post # 13
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You gave them the leeway to invite whomever they wanted by not writing a person’s name and instead just saying “and guest.”

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