Post # 1
Hello Beautiful Bees, I have a question I hope you can help me with.
So our wedding is fast approaching (Sept 2nd), and the RSVPS are coming in! My fiance and I decided it would be polite to give our bridal party a plus one, because at the time half of them were in serious relationships and the save the dates went out 7 months prior to the invites because we had so many out of town guests we wanted to make sure if they were dating anyone they could have them come 🙂
However I didn’t really think about how our best friends would abuse this. I feel like for the select few that aren’t in relationships they feel like the HAVE to bring a guest because they were issued one. One of my girlfriends who i work with wants to invite a coworker I decided not to invite to make her feel included, and my fiances friend wants to invite a girl he just met that we have never met. Is it stupid for me to think this is an abuse of the plus one. Or should I just not stress about it and focus on the more important things?
Post # 3
Since they are in your bridal party and have probably done a lot and spent a lot of money, it would be nice to let them bring who they want so they have someone to dance, talk to etc. It’s definitley awkward to be totally single at a wedding. It’s not like it’s your whole guest list, it’s just the wedding party. I think it would be a nice gesture to let them do that since they’ve put in a lot of effort for your wedding, I’m sure. It’s nice to have a friend/ date at a wedding.
Post # 4
@Britt4nyBride: I remember another Bee on this sight saying when you give a guest a +1, you almost “loose control” over who they choose to invite. It kinda makes sense.
I promise on the day of the wedding you will not notice these people. My wedding day was a blur LOL.
Post # 5
A few in our bridal party are not bringing dates, they’re bringing their drinking buddies. It’s kind of annoying when I think about how much our per-plate cost is, but ultimately they get to decide who they bring as a guest.
Post # 6
@Cheeks225: I agree with this. All of my bridal party got a plus one or even plus 2
Post # 7
I agree with everyone else. Plus one does not include “as long as it’s someone I approve of or you have been dating for at least 6 months”. I remember when my best friend got married the first time and told me I needed to break up with my boyfriend before her wedding because she didn’t want him there!
Post # 8
I’m going to take the other side and say that “plus one” definitely does not mean a co-worker who was not originally invited to the wedding. Why would that person want to go, anyways? I also offered plus ones to the bridal party (4 out of 6 of whom have serious partners/married/etc.) My Maid/Matron of Honor nearly brought a friend of hers from work, which I will admit I wasn’t super excited about, but was happy to let her do if that’s what she wanted to anways because I love her and her being happy is important. However, that doens’t mean that you can’t be irked when people think it means bring a buddy, a family member, a co-worker, etc. It’s just probably worth it to use the boards as a venting tool and not mention it to them. Good luck!
Post # 9
I agree. We have come across the same issue. Gave everyone a +1 but no one in the bridal party is really in a serious relationship. Most are coming solo, a few are bringing a date, and some are bringing a friend. We even have the same issue where I invited a co-worker and her husband, but instead of her husband she is bringing another co-worker who wasn’t invited.. awkward! It is a little annoying but in the grand scheme of things I just figure it’s not worth stressing over!
Post # 10
Thanks for the feed back everyone. It’s nice to have a fresh perspective. My mom is graciously picking up the wedding parties expenses as far as dresses and hair and all those little things go that add up, so I feel like a lot of time it’s her reaction that fires me up. She just doesn’t think it’s appropriate to invite random plus ones just because! It would have been easier to only issue plus ones to the already coupled bridesmaids and groomsmen from the beginning, but we just didn’t know this would happen- totally new to this wedding planning thing 😉
I think the reason I have a hard time with it personally is because my fiancé and I have a very close group of friends and everyone gets a long with everyone so there would never be a bridal attendant that would feel left out during our wedding. But at last it is our fault, and now I just need to vent 🙂
Post # 11
I have been on the other end of this. One of my good friends was in a wedding a couple years ago as a bridesmaid. She asked me if I wanted to be her guest. I was also friends with the bride and groom but was not invited, which I understood. I know you have to draw lines somewhere! I declined the offer to be the guest. Clearly the bride and groom cut me, and I thought it was rude to go as a guest just because the bridesmaid had a plus one. To me, a guest is offered so you can bring a significant other.
We also didn’t do guests because we didn’t want people bringing people just because, and that would have added over 25 additionalpeople to our list (And we were already inviting 200-having 170 come). We extended this rule to our wedding party. There are a few people in our wedding party who are in serious relationships/married so obviously their SO’s are coming. Otherwise the same rule applied. I know they’ve spent a lot of time/effort to be there for us, but I didn’t think it was fair to the other guests and it saved us a lot of nightmares!
Post # 12
@ALee17: awkwardd as the other coworker i wouldn’t have wanted to go if i wasn’t personally invited people are so weird LOL
Post # 13
You gave them the leeway to invite whomever they wanted by not writing a person’s name and instead just saying “and guest.”
Post # 14
@AshleyNicole9138: The co-worker probably just wanted to go out of spite….:)