Post # 1
I’m having problems deciding on who gets to bring a plus one. In my opinion, I’m being quite lenient with them, I’m letting anyone in a relationship, even if its only been a few months or so, to bring their SO (by name on the invite), and anyone who is a friend and wont know many people to bring a plus one (by guest on invite), regardless if they have a SO or not.
The main issue is both my fiance and I have large families with a lot of cousins. My side is on the younger side, so it’s not a big problem with bringing plus ones, but his side has a lot of cousins 20-30ish, most single, a few in relationships. My fiance thinks they should all bring a plus one, but that would mean having all these people I don’t know and may or may not last in the family. I honestly don’t want the single cousins to bring a plus one, and I think that’s totally fair and fine, for they will have an entire family they know, so it’s not as if they’ll be alone. Am I wrong on that?
Post # 2
luckygirl2017: Yes, I think you should be consistent or risk hurting feelings.
Post # 3
luckygirl2017: It’s perfectly reasonable to say only people in relationships can bring that person. Single cousins will know plenty of people and don’t need to bring some random friend. I think it’s very nice and considerate to let people who won’t know anyone bring a plus one regardless of relationship status, and since they don’t know anyone no one will know (or likely care) that the person they brought is not their romantic partner.
Post # 4
I don’t think you’re wrong on that sentiment or idea. If the reason is you don’t want strangers at your wedding or people who won’t last in the familt, I think that your previous statement about being lenient on friends who may not know anyone should be re-examined.
I think it’s wonderful that you’re being considerate to most of your guest by allowing them a plus one regardless of relationship length. I would suggest you extend that same curtesy to your new family as well even if they are single. While they may be with family At the wedding it probably will be more enjoyable for them to have a companion join them at the wedding. I just think it would be nice to extend the curtesy to family as well if the only reason is a concern about strangers. Who cares if there are stranger there? They have come to celebrate you and your soon to be husband and all of the people that matter will be there too! Why not ensure the people who matter have the best time possible? If cost is an issue then I would understand not letting cousins bring a plus one if not in a relationship.
Post # 5
We just gave people plus ones if they lived together or married. We did not write plus ones for short term relationships, but some of my closer friends that i knew wouldnt want to come alone I just messaged personally asking how many guest they would have. We didnt give everyone a plus one, but I was very leniant to give someone a plus one if I knew they would need that to come.
Post # 6
Personally if it were me, I would be more lenient on family then friends. Family becomes one and family in most cases are people you see more then friends and they become joint relationships.
When end it comes to plus ones for family then I would let them bring someone if they have been in a relationship for 6 months or more. If it’s non family then unless they were wedding party members I would only extend a plus one to couples who are married, engaged, or living together.
Post # 7
MexiPino: thank you! you see it how I see it. I don’t want these random 20 something year old friends, drinking, and partying not to celebrate my marriage (they wont know me or my fiance so why would they) but to have a free drinking night. I say this becuase his cousins are very much into partying. I think I’m going to go with my original plan. 🙂
Post # 8
We let anyone who wasn’t married (or in a serious relationship) have a +1, which was made a handful of people (less than 10). None of them actually brought a +1, but we felt it was courteous to do so. Most were family (cousins), and a few friends who knew others there anyway.
Post # 9
We gave plus ones to everyone who was dating someone regardless of time length and only if they knew absolutely no one else. We ended up with a shocking 65% decline rate for our in town wedding (invited 205, 70 accepted), and since it’s still fairly early (almost 5 weeks) to our wedding, we let single people who we didn’t give a plus one to, know if they wanted to bring a guest, they’re more then welcome.
I find this way, it’s fair, and I don’t really consider that a “B” list, because it’s people we wouldn’t know, and many of our guests were completely ok with it.
Post # 10
I think it’s fine to not give cousins plus ones. Just make sure those married, engaged, or living together get their SO on the invite. Personally, I think cousins can handle coming to a wedding full of their family without a random date.