- 11 months ago
- Wedding: June 2019
I know there are a million threads out there about plus one etiquette, but I wanted to explain the situation I’m in and just ask for a bit of input 🙂
My fiancé and I are in the position where, at the time of initially planning our wedding, at least, literally all of our friends and family members fell into two categories: single, or in a long-term, live-in committed relationship. Literally zero people on the guest list with any kind of gray area relationship going on. Great! Super simple when figuring out invites, right?
Well I don’t know if there’s something in the water or what, but within the past month or so, SIX friends we are inviting to the wedding (not wedding party) have entered into relationships (literally six and literally since the start of November. Like I said, something in the water! 😂) And while we are super excited for them, it’s now raising a lot of questions for us in terms of plus ones…
Our wedding is in June, so obviously a lot can change between now and then. But assuming these new relationships last, are we expected to extend plus ones to these people and invite their SOs too? We are starting to panic a bit because this is a pretty small (about 80 people) wedding (we are anticipating 100% saying yes. We have got nothing but excitement in response to our save the dates from everyone). Adding 6 people might sound insignificant, but that’s a whole extra table of people (we are renting tables and chairs for an outdoor ceremony) and 6 extra plates at dinner (our catering is our “splurge” of the wedding, so it would add up!)
Can you tell I’m hoping the answer is “no, you don’t have to?” Haha. No but seriously, I don’t want to offend anyone at all, and I feel like my fiancé and I are maybe stupid for not accounting for our single friends entering relationships when we planned guest numbers.
I know some people are in the camp of “everyone gets a plus one”, but we are more on the “long term, committed relationships only” camp. So these relationships would be about 6-7 months long by wedding time. Which kind of feels like an awkward gray area…
Also, if it helps, these friends are friends from college who all live out of state (EDIT: for clarification, “out of state” means 2-3 hour drive away. No plane trips involved! Probably no overnight stay either) and we haven’t seen them in a year or two because we are all so busy and don’t have schedules that mesh well (but we keep in active contact online and by phone/text) so I don’t even know if we will meet any of these significant others before the wedding 🤷♀️ The friends in question all expressed excitement and eagerness to attend our wedding when we announced our engagement, so I do think they plan on coming.
Sorry for the novel!