Post # 16
To add… I had an old college friend who invited me to her wedding that was in state but several hours away and required a hotel. I don’t see her often and didn’t know any of her pre or post college friends. I was going to be pretty lonely at the wedding.
She didn’t give me a plus one, but I was super rude and asked for one anyway. I hated the idea of spending 500+ dollars in hotel and gifts to eat alone and watch others talk and dance. I could have declined the invite but I was happy for her and wanted to be there. She gave me a plus one and we had a great time. But I would have been miserable there alone.
So maybe take into account how many people they will know well at the wedding. If they are super close to a ton of people then you can not give them a plus one. But if they don’t know many people other than you… give em a friend.
Post # 17
Another thing to keep in mind with regard to everyone saying you should invite the SOs or give them +1’s without question is that by doing so they might assume that they are expected to bring their newish boyfriends/girlfriends and maybe they and their SO would actually be much happier to not travel 3-4 hours and spend the night to go to some random person’s wedding they don’t know.
Which is why I think in most cases, your best bet is just to simply ask people what they want and how they feel.
Post # 18
citizenerased14 : I’m confused…is that really an overnight trip? I used live in Boston and while parts of Maine and New Husband were definitely a day trip, if it were an occasion like a wedding where I presume I would be out late/drinking I would DEFINITELY be getting a hotel or airbnb afterwards.
Post # 19
6-7 months isn’t really a gray area. My husband and I had already decided to get married at that point and were engaged by 10 months. The only reason we weren’t engaged earlier was because we were LDR and he had a big test to prepare for first.
Post # 20
kelbrimale : That’s true, they totally have the option of staying overnight, especially if they plan on drinking a lot. I just meant that the staying overnight part wasn’t a requirement or necessity like it is for, say, our friends flying in from Missouri. I wanted to make it clear that “out of state” doesn’t mean a required overnight stay (since this country is HUGE, so out of state could mean 100 miles away or 1000!)
I’m not the type to stay over if the drive is less than two or three hours, so I guess I have a biased POV there (my fiance and I have gone to a few weddings throughout New England in our time together and we always opted to drive home, even if it was at 11 or midnight). I do know others might want to do differently! 🙂
Post # 21
I think I’m going to close this thread to new replies, as I think I’ve gotten a good range of perspectives on the issue from both sides, and have settled on just reaching out to my friends closer to the invite date to ask about it 🙂
Thanks again for all the replies!