Post # 1
Sent my invites this weekend. We didnt give plus ones to anyone who was not engaged or living together. There would have been TONS of people we dont know there between people who have just started seeing someone and other single people who would have just brought anyone. A lot of people are totally ok with it because they know everyone else and dont mind at all. But I get a text this morning that sys… “im not trying to be a pain but am I not aloud to bring a date to your wedding?” she just started dating someone, I havent seen her in months and have no idea who this guy is. So I said Im sorry we didnt give plus ones to.. blah blah blah… and we cant pick some and not others. and she was like “umm ok then”
That was it! Now I feel bad, and kinda annoyed that she responded that way…
Post # 3
@Jenbee: We didn’t give plus ones either. However, today, I kid you not, I got an RSVP with this:
“We will have 3 but maybe 5.”
Post # 4
@aliavenue: OH goshh, this is just going to get worse. I know it! lol
Post # 5
So rude for people to question their invite.
We are giving a few pus ones- but only for older single guests or people who won’t know anyone.
Most of our friends that are single aren’t getting dates. But I sure hate getting asked….
Post # 6
I am worried about this situtation too. Hopefully it will all work out. You can always call or talk to them in person and explain the situation.
Post # 7
@aliavenue: oh wow I would FLIP. Our ceremony and reception is going to be intimate and limited to 75 people. I hope I don’t have to deal with this!
Post # 8
@Jenbee: I’m in the minority on this topic, but I think it’s rude to invite someone without a plus 1.
Post # 9
I’m in the same boat as you. We’re not giving plus ones to anyone who is not married/engaged, been together for longer than a year, or living together. Thankfully we haven’t had people randomly inviting others. The one person that has was totally OK once we explained the situation.
Don’t let it stress you out. She knew she didn’t get a plus one and wsa hoping to guilt you into giving her one.
Post # 10
@Jenbee: Yep. I had a similar situation where a friend just told me she was bringing her boyfriend (invites haven’t been mailed yet, but his name wasn’t on the save the date — I don’t think I even knew his name when they went out). After I told her the no-plus-one policy…she said ok. And then asked what time the reception ended so she could take the last ferry back to the mainland because it wasn’t worth it to spend the night. (Wedding is on an island that’s part of the state where she lives). I felt like the most horrible person in the world…even though I know I’m not the one with the etiquette breach here!
So, no advice, but I feel your pain.
Post # 11
Ugh. I am totally dreading this situation. My Fiance and I have some friends from college that we would like to invite and out of six of them, only ONE is in a relationship. Our cost is something like $180 per person, and I just cannot stomach letting them bring whoever they want because they are “supposed” to get a plus one. We are trying to keep it at 80 people and there are others that we would KNOW that we would like to invite with those five extra seats. We just can’t let them bring whoever they want.
They all know each other and all be sitting at the same table. So, the one friend in a serious relationship will get an invitation addressed to him (and his live-in girlfriend) and everyone else will have to come solo.
I know we will get calls about it. Particularly because one of my girlfriends has already mentioned bringing a friend as her plus one to my aunt. (AND by the way, this friend, is an ex of my cousin – um helloooo awkwardness!)
This is, hands down, the part about the wedding that I am dreading the most.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I copied the below from a previous post- have a feeling we might have to use it. (Found out since save the dates went out, 4 friends have starting dating people. We have several couples on our B list, so those are getting invites first.) This is the best reply I’ve seen so far:
“Unfortunately given the capacity at our venue, we had to limit our guest list to no plus ones. When we sent out the invitations, you weren’t dating anyone, so we had planned on just one for you. I’m sorry, but we just don’t have the space for you to bring J… if we get declines that will allow us to add extra guests, I”ll call you and let you know. I hope you understand and I hope you can still make it. Thanks”
Post # 13
I hate that I even have to explain myself. Sorry you ladys are dealing with this too, I hope I dont get anymore questions but I was really surprized by this one so you never know!
Post # 14
We sent out our save the dates and instantly got an email back saying that a friend of the family and her hubby were out of town. I was happy because I don’t really know her anyways. We were invited to her wedding last year, so I felt obligated to return the favor.
Well anyways, on Monday, I get an email to my work account that she and her hubby have changed their plans so that they can attend our wedding. AND…they are bringing their 3 kids (19, 13 and 13).
So we have gone from 2 declines to having to find 5 extra seats!!!
I’ve put my dad in charge of trying to convince her not to bring the two boys. All the kids at our wedding will be under the age of 4. I can’t really see what the 13 year olds are going to do to keep themselves entertained.
But seriously…who declines and then changes their mind… and then insists the kids are coming too? …RUDE!!
Post # 15
I am in a similar dilemma and unfortunately, until a person is faced with the prospect of paying for a wedding themselves, they won’t truly understand what a few extra “plus ones” add up to.
Don’t ever feel like you “owe” someone an invite. This is a day for you and your fiance and if your friends want to celebrate with you, they will be there with or without a plus one.
Post # 16
This is what we sent to our guests who assumed they could bring a random date by RSVP-ing with a number greater than one:
We are so excited to share our wedding weekend with you. My fiance and I have planned a very formal, sit-down dinner for our closest family and friends. Unfortunately, our venue cannot accomodate more than 65 people. Thus, we do not have space for dates of our guests. However, plus ones are more than welcome to attend our welcome dinner Friday night. Thank you for understanding. We love you.
Even after sending this to people… We still got attitude. So sad.