(Closed) Plus ones and RSVPs

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

i have seen examples where the invitation says "x number of seats have been reserved for you" and instead of a blank space there’s a number already written in there so people know. i really wish we would have done this as we have a lot of uncomfortable phone calls to make…


still trying to figure out a way to get through the uncomfortable phone calls. 

Post # 4
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

My lay out might help you – I got it from Mrs Lemon:


It might be  wee hard to see but it does have lines and a "we reserved __ seats in your honor at our reception" I had to make 6 different ones, and print them but you know what it took me an extra 30 minutes while assembeling and has been the greatest thing I did! Totally worth it! 

Post # 5
13 posts
  • Wedding: December 2008

We’re using this line on our RSVP cards: 

Number attending: ____ of ____

We’ll write in the actual number of invited guests in the second line before sending out. I’m hoping this gets the point across. But from reading other stories on WeddingBee, I’m totally expecting people to cross out the second number and add guests!

Post # 6
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I actually just wrote "Mr(s)._______ and we had no problems with people writing in someone who wasn’t invited.  2 guests inquired, but that was it.  Though – we did find out everyone’ SO’s name and never wrote (and guest) on the invite in the first place.  If it was only one person, we just had the one name.  I would be so angry if someone just automatically included a guest for themselves without asking!

Post # 7
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Ours just said "Name(s)" and then a line to write them in.  We had two guests (of 180) enquire about bringing an extra person.  In both cases it is a daughter – one we would have invited but thought she would be out of the country all summer – one is a cousin whose husband died unexpectedly just before we sent out the invitations, so her daughter has moved back home to help her out.  We are just so happy that she’s coming that of course bringing her daughter is just fine.

I do think that "Number of Guests" is a little more suggestive that bringing additional people might actually be okay than "Name(s)."  Plus having people write in the names at least lets you know who these proposed extra people are, saving you the phone call if you actually don’t object.

Post # 8
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I like the "x number of seats have been reserved for you" approach or the ___ of ___ attending.  It makes it very clear how many people are invited and may prompt people to ask permission if they have a different number in their heads.

We’re going to do online RSVPs – people will enter their name, which will bring up the specific number of spots available (0 or 1 for a single invite, 0-2 for a couple).  That way, they can’t RSVP for more seats than are on offer.  There will be a space for notes, so we anticipate a write-in or two, but will deal with those as they come in. 

Post # 9
44 posts
  • Wedding: November 2019

I got married June 7 of this year and my Husband and I weren’t sure if we would use "x number of seats have been reserved for you" approach or the standard "__ Number Attending".  We decided to use the latter and we had 1 situations where someone wanted to bring their children (it was an Adult Only Reception) and 3 situations where they called to see if they could bring someone.  Regardless of the wording you will always have someone who doesn’t know wedding etiquette.

Good luck. 

Post # 10
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We did "X seat(s) have been reserved in your honour"

Ours was also a case-by-case basis.

Post # 12
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Why do you have to send out "real" RSVP cards as well?  Our RSVP cards asked guests to RSVP via http://www.ourwebsitename.com and then had their PIN number on it.  This saved us money on evelopes and postage for the response cards.  For guests who are not technologically savvy (like my grandma), we put our phone number so they could just call and I would put it in the computer for them.  If you have everyone mail in the response cards you are going to end up typing all of the info into the computer for them anyway! 

The great thing about the online RSVP is that there is only room for them to make selections for the people who were actually invited and it keeps track of their dinner selections, and the rsvp information can then be used to create the seating chart. 


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