(Closed) Plus Ones for Adult "Children"?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

Every adult gets their own invitation regardless of where they live. That way you can control people’s plus ones.

Post # 4
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Every person of age of majority gets their own invitation, even if it means you send 3 invite to the same house.  Anyone that has an existing serious partner, find out their name and invite them specifically.  If they don’t live together, they should technically get their own invite at their own address, but I’m flexible on that.  Then make a +1 rule and apply it equally across the board.

Common +1 rules are things iike, people from out of town, people that don’t know anybody else at the wedding, that kind of thing. 

Post # 5
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I have a group of families that are similar – adult children, some with boyfriends and some not. About half of them don’t live with their parents. To keep things simple, I’m just sending an invite to the X family at the parents house. Not sending individual invites because I don’t really care what etiquette says, that seems stupid and wasteful to me – their parents will tell them and I doubt most of them will come anyway so why should I waste invitations? And I am only giving +1’s to the two sisters who both got knocked up but aren’t married, since they live with their baby daddies. Everyone else I don’t consider their relationships serious enough (nor do I even know their relationship status that well).

Post # 6
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Pinkmoon:  I think it’s odd that you consider inviting a person who lives with their spouse a +1.  Would you not send it specifically to Knockedupcousin and knockedupcousinsbabydaddy specifically?  To me a +1 is extending the option to bring any guest they want, and I wouldn’t send that to someone that I want to limit the option to their specific partner or nobody.

Post # 7
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

@SapphireSun:  Oh well yah I’m going to put the guy’s names on the invite. But I was just speaking in general terms mainly, using the term +1 loosely I guess. 

Maybe I sound harsh but these are the adult children of my parents’ friends and I don’t really talk to them ever, it’s been years. So we aren’t close by any stretch of the imagination.

Post # 8
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Pinkmoon:  Oh good.  I was thinking you were actually going to “and guest” them.  I’d be even more annoyed if kids of my parents friends that i never see and don’t really want to invite brought some random friend.

Post # 10
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi notestasiskis:  first off, I see you are fairly NEW to WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

I am a bit of an Etiquette Snob (due to my job)

So I gotta say I agree with michiru4ever: the easiest way to handle all this is to just make sure that ALL the Adults you want to invite get their own Invites… so no Mr & Mrs Robert Jones & Family (when there are adult kids involved… over the age of 18)

You’d send one to Mr & Mrs Robert Jones, and perhaps another to their son… Bob Jones & Guest… and to their daughter… Sally Jones & Guest

This allows Bob & Sally, to bring whomever they like.  IF you know they have specific long-term SOs… then you could get their names and addresses, and send invites to them seperately.  OR if they are Married or Living with them… then the Invites could be addressed to meet that need.

Mr & Mrs Bob Jones

Ms. Sally Jones & Mr. Paul Black

Looks like more work at first for sure… and certainly more Invites to print & process… but Etiquette Rules exist for a reason… by following the Rules you’ll in the end run into less issues where there are misunderstandings on exactly WHO is invited.

Hope this helps,

PS… Another trick that a lot of Brides say that helps, is making sure to use Numeric RSVP Reply Cards and filling in the quantity before you send them out…

___ of    2   WILL or WILL NOT be attending (please circle)

 

Post # 12
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with the advive above about one invite for every adult. On our rsvp cards we’ve put the menu choices and then asked people to write the names of the members of their party who have chosen each dish next to them. We thought it was a good way of confirming exactly who was coming, and also giving people the impression that they cannot suddenly bring someone without letting us know.

Post # 13
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yah know I was confused about the exact same thing, my mom never had a proper wedding so she was not help in that department -.- so thanks for posting!! much appreciated =D

 

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