Post # 1
So I just got off a very heated conversation with my dad and stepmom, who told me that if I don’t include +1’s for each single guest I am being terribly rude. First of all, the stats:
-I have been out of school one year and have a full time job. Fiance is still a student and makes basically no pay.
-Fiance and I are paying for approx. 80% of the wedding ourselves. We live in an expensive area on the east coast.
-Venue holds 120 people. The guest list is at 135 without +1’s. If we add +1’s we will be at 145.
I personally feel that only people with significant others should be allowed to bring a date. Fiance agrees.
Any advice? What did you do at your wedding? I don’t want to seem rude to people but fiances are a huge constraint.
Post # 3
I only had a few singles but of those singles I knew that they would know almost no one so we did the plus ones for them, but like I said, we only had less than a handful and we were good on space. In your situation, I would keep it to those with only significant others, especially since you are tight on space.
Post # 4
Explain to your parents that you will be extending +1’s to certain guests that have SOs, even though you wish you could add more people, but its just a precaution so you don’t overbook your venue.
Post # 5
You are paying for the majority of your wedding and it’s YOUR wedding. I say put your foot down and if you need to, introduce them to the millions of posts on here that support your position 🙂
Post # 6
In my family, we invite couples that are married (obviously), engaged and that have been dating for over a year. Otherwise we think it’s ok to have singles! We think it’s actually very fun – there’s a lot of flirting and fun!!
The only exception we make is if there are only a couple of people who would be single.
Post # 8
I only allowed plus ones for people in serious relationships, and made one exception for a guy friend of mine who won’t know anyone else there. We’re paying for the wedding 100% ourselves though, so although we took advice from our moms, the decisions are all ours.
Post # 9
I think its fine to do whatever you want if you’re paying for it!! Also, I think the idea of inviting “serious” significant others is a good one. Your single friends will still have a good time without a date, so don’t worry about that. I did get invited to a wedding a few years ago and my Fiance wasn’t invited (he was my Boyfriend or Best Friend at the time, but we had been together for 8 or 9 years!!) it was wierd, but I understood when the couple told me they were tight on money. Also sounds like you’re limited in the venue size anyway…sorry about the pickle you’re in! But I think it happens all the time and brides just need to put their foot down at some point!
Post # 10
The only exception I made for +1s were my bridal party. Otherwise if people were single I didn’t let them bring a date. My Fiance on the other hand let all of his single friends bring someone. Half did, half didn’t.
Post # 11
We didn’t include plus ones until some people cancelled on us and even than only 2 people came us asking if they could. We did on the other hand allow people to bring their SO if they have them and have been together long enough.
Post # 12
Maybe consider not sending a specific +1, but reaching out to singles who may be uncomfortable not knowing anyone that it would be ok to bring a date. I am working with a bride now who just graduated from college & will not be extending +1’s to her college pals, but will be verbally letting a few older singles (family members) know it would be okay to bring someone if it would be more comfortable for them. Take with grain of salt! 😉
Post # 13
I wouldn’t stress about it. Add the plus ones and you’ll probably have some people not show up. I didn’t want everyone to have a plus one either. I sent out invitations without them, and then realized it was rude. That’s just how I felt though. I really regret it!
Post # 14
As a guest, I have never been allowed a plus one and I had a blast with the other guests in attendance (while attending solo and not knowing anyone other than the bride and groom, which is rare). If some guests honestly will not be able to enjoy themselves unless they bring along a friend, then they are better off staying home. Most people in real life are not that selfish.
A wedding should be shared with your nearest and dearest, not random strangers you will never see again. Especially since many people’s finances are so tight and weddings in general are so expensive.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2011 - Brock House Restaurant, Vancouver
I agree with Ember78, a wedding should be shared with important people and not random strangers. But the biggest issue to me is that you guys are already over capacity without extending +1s. You can always extend the odd +1 to people if you get a few no RSVPs back and are below capacity. Since you are paying for the wedding mostly yourselves, go with what you feel comfortable with.