Post # 1
We’re having a small wedding with a guest list of 50 or fewer, as our budget is quite small. I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not to invite my coworkers, and the truth is I would really like to invite them since we are a small, close-knit group. The trouble comes when I consider adding the plus-ones to the list. I only have six coworkers, which would not make a terrible dent in our guest list, but twelve people would be very significant. I can easily see them all coming together as a group and not including plus-ones, but is it appropriate of me to ask that of them?
Post # 2
You don’t have to offer a plus one since they know each other. However they might ask to bring one or assume they can.
Post # 3
This is tricky. I think the married or engaged coworkers might be offended. Although spouses are not ‘conjoined’ they usually go to most events together. You know your coworkers best. Do you think they’d be offended?
My one friend is not inviting coworkers SOs and I do find that a bit odd but on the other hand if they don’t mind then who cares?
Post # 4
The same rules apply to co-workers as to anyone, couples married, living together, engaged, or in a long-term relationship are invited as a unit.
I would be for inviting no coworkers at all to a small wedding. You will probably change jobs, they will, you may not be in touch with any of them in 5 years. If you don’t invite any of them, they can’t be offended. You are having a small wedding.
Post # 5
We invited 50 to our wedding and ABSOLUTELY gave co-workers plus ones. I invited three of my closest friends/co-workers (they all knew each other as well). I’d never met their husbands, but I wanted them to enjoy themselves and have a “date” night.
I could have easily invited more, but like, you we were having a small wedding. Immediate family, aunts/uncles, and close friends. No children/no cousins.
I was invited solo to a wedding a month before mine and declined. I found it rude that they didn’t invite my Fiance when they knew we were a social unit. They were even having a large wedding.
Post # 6
Plus ones? No. But if they are in a relationship you should invite their significant other – which is different from a plus one.
Post # 7
I think you need to be really honest with them. I think If you just said “hey I really want you guys there but simply can’t afford to have you guys bring dates” it would be fine. If they gets offended well then whatever it’s your wedding! Being honest is always the best option. for my coworkers I just said hey I can’t afford to have you all bring dates, do you want to come single to my wedding or would you rather we go to the bar a week before the wedding and celebrate? They all agreed on the bar lolololol
Post # 8
At my work, one girl just invited our work group to the evening recpetion (no partners) and then another lady from work who got married invited one girl who she is very close with outside of work and her son to the whole day and the rest of us were invited to the evening recpetion…and that was cool. No one was funny about it, we got that those 2 are close and although we are close just not as close. However I’m having a tricky time at the moment….I’m very close to a few of the girls and would want their partners there too but then that’s half of my work (team of 10) and I’m pretty close to the other girls too so feel I’d have to invite their partners as I’ve invited the others if you get me?
I think have a think how your girls would take it if it was just them? I can imagine some work groups wouldn’t bat an eyelid and think that’s cool woooo we got invited and then other groups would be like “ooooh that is so rude not inviting my partner!”….you know your work group..how would they react? At my work we’d be fine with it just being us. Is there an option of having them just come in the evening?
Post # 9
Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I’ll continue giving this some thought as we finalize the guest list.
Post # 10
our +1 rule was if they are married, engaged or living together, they got a +1. If just causally dating and we didn’t know that person, they did not get a +1. This applied to everyone, from coworkers to family, just to keep it fair for everyone.
Post # 11
You’re not obligated to invite your co-workers at all, but if you do, you need to invite anyone who is married, engaged, or living together. But if you are talking about inviting everyone else with a +1 , and just not these co-workers, you risk making them feel like second class guests.