(Closed) Plus-ones necessary when inviting coworkers?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You don’t have to offer a plus one since they know each other. However they might ask to bring one or assume they can.

Post # 3
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

This is tricky. I think the married or engaged coworkers might be offended. Although spouses are not ‘conjoined’ they usually go to most events together. You know your coworkers best. Do you think they’d be offended? 

My one friend is not inviting coworkers SOs and I do find that a bit odd but on the other hand if they don’t mind then who cares? 

Post # 4
Member
2369 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

The same rules apply to co-workers as to anyone, couples married, living together, engaged, or in a long-term relationship are invited as a unit.

I would be for inviting no coworkers at all to a small wedding. You will probably change jobs, they will, you may not be in touch with any of them in 5 years. If you don’t invite any of them, they can’t be offended. You are having a small wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1386 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We invited 50 to our wedding and ABSOLUTELY gave co-workers plus ones. I invited three of my closest friends/co-workers (they all knew each other as well). I’d never met their husbands, but I wanted them to enjoy themselves and have a “date” night. 

I could have easily invited more, but like, you we were having a small wedding. Immediate family, aunts/uncles, and close friends. No children/no cousins.

I was invited solo to a wedding a month before mine and declined. I found it rude that they didn’t invite my Fiance when they knew we were a social unit. They were even having a large wedding. 

Post # 6
Member
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Plus ones? No. But if they are in a relationship you should invite their significant other – which is different from a plus one. 

Post # 7
Member
471 posts
Helper bee

I think you need to be really honest with them.  I think If you just said “hey I really want you guys there but simply can’t afford to have you guys bring dates” it would be fine. If they gets offended well then whatever it’s your wedding!  Being honest is always the best option.  for my coworkers I just said hey I can’t afford to have you all bring dates, do you want to come single to my wedding or would you rather we go to the bar a week before the wedding and celebrate? They all agreed on the bar lolololol 

Post # 8
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

At my work, one girl just invited our work group to the evening recpetion (no partners) and then another lady from work who got married invited one girl who she is very close with outside of work and her son to the whole day and the rest of us were invited to the evening recpetion…and that was cool. No one was funny about it, we got that those 2 are close and although we are close just not as close. However I’m having a tricky time at the moment….I’m very close to a few of the girls and would want their partners there too but then that’s half of my work (team of 10) and I’m pretty close to the other girls too so feel I’d have to invite their partners as I’ve invited the others if you get me? 

I think have a think how your girls would take it if it was just them? I can imagine some work groups wouldn’t bat an eyelid and think that’s cool woooo we got invited and then other groups would be like “ooooh that is so rude not inviting my partner!”….you know your work group..how would they react? At my work we’d be fine with it just being us. Is there an option of having them just come in the evening?

Post # 10
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
LadyAna:  our +1 rule was if they are married, engaged or living together, they got a +1.  If just causally dating and we didn’t know that person, they did not get a +1. This applied to everyone, from coworkers to family, just to keep it fair for everyone.

Post # 11
Member
13896 posts
Honey Beekeeper

You’re not obligated to invite your co-workers at all, but if you do, you need to invite anyone who is married, engaged, or living together. But if you are talking about inviting everyone else with a +1 , and just not these co-workers, you risk making them feel like second class guests. 

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