(Closed) plus ones- what should we do?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: what should we do?
    invite just the friends, no plus ones for any of them : (42 votes)
    81 %
    invite the friends and a plus one for each : (9 votes)
    17 %
    other, explain : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    If they’re single I do not see anything wrong with not includign plus ones on their invitation.  I have been dating somebody seriously and had them not invited, but I was flattered to be a part of the couples’ special day!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I voted to just invite the friends.

    HOWEVER, from reading the rest of your post, it sounds like you already sent out your invites? Did you include +1s for everyone else? (That is to say, +1s for people that aren’t married/engaged/living together/etc., or who aren’t in the wedding party?) Because if you invited other single non-wedding-party friends and gave them +1s, I feel like it’s unfair to tell these 6 that they can’t bring guests.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    We were selective in +1’s.  In this case they will know each other so no need to worry about giving them a date since they are single.

    Post # 7
    Member
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    For our single guests we only invited them. We don’t need people coming to our wedding we don’t know especially if it’s some girl or guy they just plan on bringing as a date for the night. If i was single i don’t think i would mind not having a plus one on my invite.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Ellabellaxo:I think she meant your NON wedding party single guests. Did they get a plus one? If no, then you don’t have to give the 6 friends +1s.

    The wedding party can get +1s even if no one else did, they are doing something special for you and they can have an extra guest. That should not affect if the other 6 friends get +1s.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Meh – we gave people +1s if they were in a long-term relationship. If the people in question knew others at the wedding, we didn’t bother adding guest, if they knew no one, we gave them the option. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @Ellabellaxo: +1s for the wedding party is okay. It just gets dicey if you invited non-wedding-party guests with +1s.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Our singles were invited solo except for my moh (but she decided to come solo anyway).  The only exception to this was (and it still annoys me) was one of my husband’s friends.  He broke up with his long time girlfriend a few months before the wedding (he was initially invited with her and yes her name was on the invite).  Well two weeks before the wedding, he calls my husband and says he doesn’t want to come to the wedding if he can’t bring a date (even though he is very close friends with a whole table of friends…) I naturally was annoyed, but I wanted him to be there for my husband, so we extended the invite.  His guest (not his ex- a random) was actually a kind of bitch, but whatever…

    Post # 13
    Member
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Hmm. In that case, you might need to give them the option?

     

    For my invites, I only gave an explicit +1 to people that I know won’t come alone. (2 people on the list of 230)

    Then, I wrote in the names of any live-ins, spouses, fiance(e)s –so I didn’t think of those as “+1s.”

    For the singles (except the 2 I mentioned) their invite has only one name. HOWEVER, if they call and ask, I will say “sure” (unless, maybe it turns out that plus one is one of his exes who he still hates).

     

    So, you can just invite them alone, and if they ask, you’ll know at least a few of your RSVPs and can judge then?

    Post # 14
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We’re only doing +1s for the wedding party as a courtesy, and unless they are married or engaged or doing us a huge favor (like our friend who is DJing for free) no one is getting one. Not even the sinlge mom who works with me (she’s the one I feel the most guilty about). But she’ll know people there, it’s not like she’s going to be by herself the whole night. Bottom line: If they are offended that you won’t feed their friend/fling on your dime, then maybe they aren’t people you want to share your special day with. Just saying.

    Post # 15
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’m kind of going by this “rule”

    if they have signifigant others that are serious and either live with them or have been with them for a while, then they are invited as “friend and guest”.  Otherwise, no +1 for people who are either not dating anyone, or have only been for a short while. 

    Not to be mean, but we can’t afford to feed the bf’s/gf’s that aren’t serious yet.

    Post # 16
    Member
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Nobody got a plus one. However, our friends who are in serious relationships had their S.O’s name on the invite as well.

    The topic ‘plus ones- what should we do?’ is closed to new replies.

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