(Closed) Plus size brides losing weight before buying dress?

posted 10 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 17
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i had that same mindset but when i started trying on dresses, but once i started shopping, i was amazed at how they made me look! i’ve also been told that you should plan to get a dress closest to the size you are. ultimately i’d still like to lose 20-25 lbs between now and next summer. i am going to go with a strapless style, and the only thing i hate now is the way my fat upper arms look so i will definitely be doing some serious strength and weight training more than anything! but it’s always easier to take in than let out!

though for me, my current dress issue is that i’m torn between getting a zip up or corset back. after reading many threads and posts on here about the wonders of the corset back dress, i was set on getting one! but i want to get a mermaid style dress, and the end of the corset ends up hitting right in the middle of my big booty! so i recently tried on a few zip up backed dresses, and it looks like the zipper looks much cleaner and lays flatter. sigh. we will all look gorgeous no matter what!!

Post # 18
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I completely understand. What originally motivated me to lose weight was my experience trying on Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses for my friend’s upcoming wedding. I actually went down 3 dress sizes before I bought it. Definitely not at my goal yet, and I’ve suddenly lost my motivation. I recently got engaged as well…you’d think that would be even more motivation! Maybe trying on some bridal gowns will spark my motivation. I think I’ll do that soon! 🙂

Post # 19
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am trying to lose weight too! I have already lost 7-8, yay! My motivation is looking good in our wedding pictures (and how much we are paying for them). I don’t want to spend an arm and a leg on wedding pictures if I am going to HATE the way I look in them. Also looking good in my dress (which I will also be paying a lot for). Also I want to look good for Fiance. We are planning on starting to have kids after the wedding and I want to be fit for my kids.

Why pay all that money if I am going to not look and feel my best And possibly self consious.

I haven’t always been overweight. I gain 40 lbs in less than a year at the end of high school. From 3rd grade to 10th I only ate when my parents were home (just dinner time). I admit I use to like that starving feeling (now I don’t). I started eating regularly at the end of 10th grade. After high school I started losing weight. Then my grandfather passed away and I became very depressed again, then four months later my cousin passed away. It was a very hard time and I gained about 40 lbs.

I found I am a bored and depressed eater nd am working on it. I also found when I skip meals I pig out at dinner. So I am working on those things and portion control.

Good Luck to all you brides trying to lose weight!

Post # 20
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

i’ve been stalling for the same reason.  I’m so frustrated with myself!  Earlier this year I did nutrasystem and started running four times a week and lost twenty pounds.  Then I got sick for a while, then just lazy and busy, and before I knew it I was completely out of shape and had put 12 of those 20 pounds back on.  stupid!  Anyway…i’m thinking if I wear spanx during the measurements and making sure to get a corset back, that way I can loose more weight and hopefully the dress will still fit.  good luck ladies! 

Post # 21
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

   I’ve spent years struggling with diet and my weight.  I would encourage anyone who sets a goal of losing a large amount of weight in a short time to see your doctor and have bloodwork done to test your hormones and thyroid.  If you are taking a birth control pill, you should talk to your doctor about the hormones in that as well.  Many birth control pills can be linked to increased appetite and weight gain.

   I would also suggest you do some dress shopping for the size you are now.  It’s much easier to have a dress taken up than let out.  Wedding planning can be stressful, and adding the additional pressure of having to lose weight to fit into your dress will only add to that stress.  Your wedding planning should be fun and memorable, not miserable!

 

Post # 22
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I had a 14 month engagement and was in a similar boat.  I was petrified of dress shopping and refused to go because I was so unhappy with my size and wanted to lose about 40-50 pounds before the wedding. 

Well, the months started ticking along and I was had such little motivation to lose the weight.  We all know, that magic 6 month mark to order a dress.  

For whatever reason, it took me 6 or 7 months to get my butt in gear and start working out and eating right.  You’d think wedding dress shopping would have been the motivator – but I think I kept thinking I have til the wedding (not the dress shopping).

I had lost about 7-10 pounds when I did my dress shopping – which didn’t make me feel as big and I felt MUCH better about myself than if it had been otherwise, but it was definitely apparent I had a long way to go.

I’m just under 4 months to go – and I’ve lost 30 pounds to date.  I really wish I was this size when I was trying on dresses, because I think more styles would have been flattering to me.  I’m actually nervous about my first fitting (in about 10 weeks) because I know the size we ordered is going to run big big (I’m pretty broad, so they ordered the size that would definitely fit around my chest) – but I’m losing inches around there, so who knows what magic they’ll need to have.

All that to say – YOU CAN DO IT.  I had zero motivation and didn’t want to work out or pay attention to what I ate – nothing.  The first couple months are the hardest… but then it becomes a way of life.

My mantra is you have to figure out what you like to do (in terms of working out) and then just do it.  I found a group exercise class with a trainer that specializes in fat loss and totally changed up my eating (avoid processed foods, eat lean protein, veggies, fruit, good fats) – it doesn’t feel like I’m really on a diet because I can eat hearty meals.  It’s not easy – and working out kicks my butt – but it’s working and has worked and is something I know I’ll be able to maintain over time.  

You’ve got time on your side – so don’t waste it like I did.  Start this moment and don’t look back.  (Whenever I want ‘cheat’ food – I always tell myself that same snack will be there when I’ve lost the weight – and for some reason, that always helps me make better food choices).

Good Luck!  You can do it!!

Post # 23
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I also lost a lot of weight since getting engaged (40Ib) after struggling with my weight and recently thyroid problems all my life. I’m in a weird place right now. I l.o.v.e my new figure – I feel so much more confident and beautiful than before. And yet, I wonder if my dress didn’t look better when I still had more curves, when my body somehow ‘moved in and out’ more. I still want to lose a little more (20Ib ideally) before the wedding, and am hoping that once my body ‘evens out’ and my dress is super fitted it will look just like I want. I have plateaued right now, and am feeling a little demotivated about it all – like, I’m not going to be a ‘big’ bride anymore, what’s the point of torturing myself? I think it’s really hard for women to ever feel happy with their own size and shape.

Post # 24
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

in the past yea I lost 50 lbs, but for the past few months I grew lazy with it.  Then we got engaged 3 weeks ago and I started back on WW last week and have been doing good.  We also started C25K.  I  am a size 14 and would like to be a 10 or 12 before I try on dressed.  I have about 40 lbs to loose before that happens.  It takes a lot of weight for me to go down a size or two.  I think that’s because I am tall.

Post # 25
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

okay i really think engagement/wedding prep is completely not conducive to weight loss! with all these parties and food everywhere and parents constantly in town wanting to go to dinner etc etc. i lost over 100 lbs some years ago and have been very good at maintenance but i’m really fighting it right now and am at the top of my “safe” range. not good. funny though, my planners and pilates woman and dress fitter keep telling me it looks like i’ve lost weight whenever i see them. i think they’re just being nice…..

Post # 26
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Personally, I found dress shopping to be a huge motivator! Nothing like watching your back fat being strapped into a dress to make you want to lose it!

I have roughly a year and a half to lose about 30lbs; which I think is possible for me. The slower I lose it, the less likely I am to rebound.

Do you have someone who could be your workout buddy? I found I was less likely to skip the gym if I knew doing so would be standing my friend up.

I also found keeping a food journal to be super-helpful! Tracking calories has made me very aware of what I put into my body, and helped me make better choices. (I didn’t have to give up ice cream! I just learned to view it as a treat rather than the end of the meal.)

And no matter what size you are, there is a dress out there that will make you feel like a million dollars! You’ll find it!

Good luck!

Post # 27
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Here’s my opinion on the subject:  Plus size girls have it harder shopping for bridal gowns, this is an absolute fact and one that desperatley needs to be looked into by the weddiing industry.  However, I’m not holding my breath for them to get around to it.  What matters more than what happens at salons is how you feel about yourself, which always colors your perception of events.  Unfortunately, bad dress shopping experiences, or even fear and anxiety about going dress shopping that may be preventing you from going out there and trying on dresses, both add to sometimes fragile self-perception that we plus girls can easily carry around (not saying all plus girls, by any means, just trying to touch on some common threads of some of us).  But, here’s the thing… If you’re a plus size girl becuse of eating and activity patterns (which I’m guilty of), feelings of guilt and shame that are compounded by wedding dress shopping aren’t, in my opinon, a good motivator for changing your lifestyle.  Perhaps wedding dress shopping and images of you on your wedding day can be the spark that sets a change in motion, but to sustain the effort you need to really change your lifestyle, I think it’s going to take something bigger than anything having to do with a wedding dress, and whatever that thing is, you gotta find it inside yourself.

Post # 28
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Here’s what’s motivating me to look the way I want to look on my wedding day, which includes lighter, with a slammin’ hourglass figure, healthy with toned muscle, a glowing healthy complexion, and an authentic beaming smile:  I want to live a healthy and productive life with my sweetheart.  We have amazing potential to help each other be the very best we can be in life.  I want to be healthy for the rest of my life.  I want to be active, I want to be able to have healthy pregnancies and children, I want to be around for a very, very long time.  My wedding is in 1 year and 1 month.  I’m positive that I will look different then than I do now, and that will probably include a significant reduction in weight.  But, my wedding day isn’t a stopping point for health, and I wouldn’t be surprised if by my wedding day I’m only halfway to the amount of weight I want to loose in order to be healthy, and that’s Ok with me. 

I’m looking for a dress that will flatter me at any size, and one that can be easily altered as my body changes. 

Post # 29
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

To be honest, the pressure of looking thin/perfect/bridal for the wedding was counter productive to me.  As a long-term overweight woman who has lost about 115 pounds in the past and then gained about 30 back, the thought that I needed to hurry up and lose that weight again (plus like 20 more) to get to a goal weight JUST for the wedding freaked me out.  Did anyone else have this problem? 

After recommitting myself to weight loss in January or so, I managed to lose about 10 pounds, but the wedding pressure quickly caught up with me, and I’ve been totally stuck for at least 2 or 3 months. I’m back on track, but have totally ignored the wedding as a deadline.  Now I’m hoping to lose all that weight and keep it off for a while before we plan to have our first child (about 3 years from now).  I want to do it for my health, the future baby’s health, and to increase my energy level for when we have kids.  For me, that is a much more reasonable goal, and one with less intense pressure!  Anyone else have a similar experience?

Post # 30
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@BostonBrideToBe, yes, I’m having a very similar experience, totally freaked out by the wedding as a date that I have to be xyz size or weight by.  Bleh.  It just doens’t seem realistic.  Working everyday on being healthy seems totally realistic, saying, “I’m going to do everything, healthy or unhealthy between now and then to be a size 6,” that for me, is crazy-making. 

Post # 31
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I am trying this too… the couchto5k running plan at coolrunnings.com is my motivation. I actually made myself PAY to run 3.2 miles (ugh!) If nothing else, I can walk and it will get me moving and a goal. Six weeks total, two weeks down! Good luck!

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