Post # 1
We made a wedding website with details about the wedding (dress code, etc.), accommodations, things to do, and links to our registries and included it on our save the dates. We are pretty traditional and didn’t make any mention of it on the invitations, but I’m afraid that most of our guests have forgotten about the website and won’t have the information. There have been a few guests who don’t seem to know what the dress code is.
Is there a good way to handle this situation? Do we just let it go and see what happens? I’m a little afraid that people are going to show up in varying levels of dress formality or that they’ll thing we are rude for not providing suggestions for things to do or ways to get around since this will be a destination for many. Most of our guests are unrelated, so I can’t really depend on word of mouth.
Post # 2
Is the dress code required by the venue or just one you made up?
If it’s required by the venue maybe you could send out an email about it. But if it’s just one you made up I’d just let it go at this point.
Post # 3
hikingbride : No, there isn’t a mandatory dress code. We just don’t want anyone to feel awkward. We specified semi formal for the dress code.
Post # 4
myth : I wouldn’t worry about it then. Guests will dress how they feel comfortable and you really shouldn’t be telling them how to dress anyway. If someone is concerned about how they should dress they will either remember the website or ask.
Post # 5
You can send an email reminder with the website as an FYI. Like “we’re so excited to share our special day with you. Just a reminder, we’ve placed the major details for the events on our website for your convenience. You’ll find information about x y and z with just a click of the link.”
Post # 6
cassiegirl : Perfectly worded
Post # 7
Most people will assume the dress code based on location and that is is an actual wedding, but the other info is good for them to have.
I think the email idea is a great way to remind guests.
Post # 8
Most people don’t look at wedding websites anyway. Sorry, but it’s an unfortunate reality. Couples spend a lot of time and effort trying to make these, when no one really cares to go look at them.
As for a “dress code” – adults will know how to appropriately dress for a wedding. It’s not as though you’re having a black tie event and Uncle Joe will show up in jeans if you don’t tell him otherwise.
Post # 9
myth : They’ll only feel awkward about it if you choose to make a big deal about it and make them feel awkward about it. Otherwise adults know how to dress themselves appropriately.
And wedding websites are extra, not mandatory viewing. Everything they need to know about your wedding should be information available from the invitation. Who. What. Where. When. The formality of the invitation and location of the wedding will clue them in on how to dress. Adults can figure out how to entertain themselves – they’ve probably all gone on a vacation wiithout your assistance before.
They probably threw out the save the date when the invite came (or before). No big deal. Don’t overthink it and just be gracious and answer their questions as they come up. That’s pretty much par for the course any time you host an event.
Post # 10
It is inappropriate to specify a dress code unless the venue has requirements or unless you are having a formal affair. Otherwise the default for a traditional wedding is semiformal. Your guests are adults who should not be told what to wear.
If another concern is hotel or transportation info, you can send a separate letter or email.
But a dress code doesn’t belong anywhere, including your website.
Post # 11
Semi-formal seems the norm for weddings. I would assume most, if not all, people will dress appropriately, without needing a reminder.
Post # 12
myth : Am I correct in assuming that this is less about your guests not “getting” the dress code and more about just fielding questions that have already been answered on the website? Because I totally get that. I made a wedding website and put all of our important information on there. And still, I had people up until the day of the wedding, asking me questions that were answered there. It’s not the end of the world, but it can get a little grating. You’re just going to have to resign yourself to the fact that people, at their crux, are odd. Some don’t RSVP, some won’t access a website even when provided a direct link, etc. Weddings bring out all types of odd little intricacies with people.
Also, to everyone saying that dress codes don’t belong anywhere–The number one question I got from people was: “How dressy is your wedding going to be?” or “What should I wear?” So while I don’t think it’s proper to dictate what others wear, putting the information out there as a suggestion is fine. Should people take cues from the venue, invitations, etc. Absolutely. But people should also do a whole host of other things that they don’t.