(Closed) Polite way to say, "cash only, please!" for wedding gifts

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
11268 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

there isn’t a polite way to request money only.

if someone asks where you are registered, simply say that you and your husband chose not to register.  end of conversation.

Post # 18
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree, there is no way. I wouldn’t contribute to a honeymoon registry either.

Post # 19
Member
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@bombaysapphire_13:  you said What’s a polite way to request that people give cash gifts, if they feel inclined to give something?

This is a serious question? You’ve not seen this like 10 times in the past month?
 
I think the best answer I’ve seen is this paraphrase: everyone knows that cash will be appreciated. You don’t need to tell them.
 
Now OP, if cash is the ONLY gift you will accept, that would be–interesting. And you would be setting yourself up for an–interesting–situation for your guests. Tell us how that turns out!
 
Seriously–don’t do that to yourself and your guests, it is greedy and tacky. Sure you want cash. I want cash. We all want cash and more cash. Don’t go there, it’s just rude.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 20
Member
10650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’m surprised by all the people saying there is no way.  If someone asks where you’re registered, what’s wrong with saying that we haven’t registered anywhere, but we are saving up for ___?

Post # 21
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It seems like every week there’s a thread like this^_^’

Post # 23
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

This thread is like groundhog day. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with setting up a non-traditional registry where people can contribute to stuff you actually need eg new windows, a fire partition in the loft, a honeymoon.

I also had friends who requested “no gifts”, which is a polite way to say “either nothing, or cash only please”. Or you could have a small registry and hope for the best.

But please, please, please… NO POEMS. If you want to say something, come out and say it.

Post # 24
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Every wedding I have been to in the last 5 years have all asked for cash, and they all included a poem with the invite – it’s tacky but it gets the message across. 

 

Post # 25
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s pretty common to ask for cash in nz. We are only inviting 80 people so I guess they will all hear through the grapevine that we prefer cash. We won’t write it on the invitations, just tell people if they ask. I never knew there was a big issue asking for cash until I came on here, different cultures I guess 🙂

Post # 26
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

I am from the UK and it is very widely done over here. It is only since joing the bee I have discovered people being so anti it.

Post # 27
Hostess
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Don’t register. People will take the hint. 

Post # 28
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

@keranos:  Agree! I don’t think there’s anything wrong, it’s more the wording and how you state it. I know for a fact that FI’s family is more practical and would only give us gifts we request for. Now we’ve been telling them that since we are flying home for the wedding and we live countries apart it’s impossible for us to transport gifts of the larger size. They said the best way is to give us small things, and “flat” gifts aka monetary gifts or giftcards. The whole family understands, noone thinks it’s rude bla bla bla. .. It’s more the practicality of it. And besides.. if people do feel inclined to give a gift, which we don’t even expect from our guests I would get out of my way to get it home! 

Post # 29
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

She asked where you are registered. You aren’t. so tell her you aren’t. 

My Fi and I are moving halfway around the world directly after our wedding. We could really use a lot of traditional ‘starting up’ gifts, simce we will have to build a life from the ground up…but honestly, cannot transport them. 

We have been asked where we are registered. I answered, oh, we aren’t. The immediate response was, oh, ok, cash then. Seems pretty logical, if not uber correct form. 

Post # 30
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

The BEST workaround if you really want cash is to Register at Bed Bath and Beyond. You can return any unwanted gifts from your registry for cashback no receipt necessary 

Post # 31
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@bombaysapphire_13:  If you are in Australia it seems to be culturally accepted to flat out say it in a poem. However, anywhere else and you are kind of SOL. I am attending a friend’s wedding and asked her where she is registered. “I am having a very small registry for family that is more traditional but we really want cash because we have everything we need”. I don’t know, it was fairly off-putting, though I know that that is the truth of the matter before I asked. I probably would have just gone and given cash or given a gift certificate to a really nice restaurant or something if she had not told me this. I’m still going to give cash, I’m just not excited putting that cheque in a card. Hopefully they appreciate the amount because I’ve had to stretch our budget to be able to give an amount that is more fitting. Overall, just put a bad taste in my mouth. I just think it is a bad idea to tell people you want cash.

ETA: I agree with PP’s, Don’t register anywhere and say you don’t have a registry because you have everything you need and want for your home. If you do that then guests are free to choose what they want to do.

 

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