Post # 1
Our wedding is going to be a ‘small’ one (size is relative, especially when it comes to weddings!) with only 50 seats. So space is limited and our venue is NOT very flexible about extra seats. I would LOVE some ideas for a polite way to say “I just want you to come, since it’s only your name on the invite.” It will be on the RSVP card or the extras card (reception site, registered at Target, park here the day of, etc.). Just looking for some ideas on how to make it obvious that we are really limited on space.
Post # 3
On your RSVP card just put that you have reserved 1 seat for them. If they question it just tell them that space is limited. As long as you’re not including someone very important (long-term relationship, fiance, spouse) there should be no issue.
Post # 4
On my RSVP cards I wrote, “We have reserved ___ seats in your honor.” That way you can fill out the appropriate number, and hopefully people will understand they can’t add to it.
Post # 5
I agree with LiliKitty
On the RSVP card just put the following:
We have reserved 1 seat in your honor.
___ of 1 will attend
and then have the regrets line.
That makes it pretty clear the invite is for 1 only.
Just remember that married couples should not be invited without their spouse as they are a “social unit”. Many also believe that if you are engaged or in a long term relationship you should be considered a “social unit” as will and not invited without the other.
Post # 6
Just write exactly what you said and maybe add a bit like, “Unfortunately due to our venue we are very limited on space so extra guests cannot not be accomodated but we sincerely hope that you can still be present at this important event in our lives”
Post # 7
@KatNYC2011: <— everything she said 🙂
Post # 8
Kat: I agree with that, but I also think anyone 18 and older should have the option to bring a guest. (If that means inviting fewer people I can live with that)
Post # 9
Just wanted to add I don’t think it’s polite to put on the RSVP card anything along the lines of “you aren’t allowed to bring a date” no matter how it’s worded.
However, if you are putting together a wedding website you can have an FAQ section and have a question like:
“Can I bring a date?”
With an answer like what PookyShoes said:
“Unfortunately due to our venue we are very limited on space so extra guests cannot not be accomodated but we sincerely hope that you can still be present at this important event in our lives”
Post # 10
@peachyqueen: Are you taking about single guests? Or guests who are married/engaged/in a relationship?
Post # 11
Thanks for all the comments!
@Bostongrl25: I am talking about our single friends. I would never invite 1 person from a married/engaged couple, or even someone that’s been in a relationship for years. I’m talking about our friends that have had a girlfriend for 6 months (that we’ve never met) or someone that would just be bringing a friend. Almost all of our guests know each other. We are only inviting 1 person that won’t know anyone and she is being so awesome about it.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
People *should* get the point, if you do the “seats reserved.” Fiance and I had been together over a year, and I didn’t assume I was invited to two weddings (until I got a shower invite for one of them.)
After we figured out our guest list, a few friends have started dating someone (less than 6 months), and we’re going to have just them on the invites. If we have regrets rsvps, we can possibly add dates.
If someone gives you a hard time, another bee posted this a while back, which I’m ready to use if needed:
“Hey man, we got your RSVP message, and we’re glad you’ll be able to make it! Unfortunately given the capacity at our venue, we had to limit our guest list to no plus ones. When we sent out the invitations (or you could say -created our guest list), you weren’t dating anyone, so we had planned on just one for you. I’m sorry, but we just don’t have the space for you to bring J… if we get declines that will allow us to add extra guests, I”ll call you and let you know. I hope you understand and I hope you can still make it. Thanks, FI”
Post # 13
@Bichon Frise: This is what we are doing as well. We have a larger wedding around 200, but FI’s family is HUGE so it just wasnt possible for people to bring dates
Post # 14
I did it this way…
Two seats have been reserved in your honour.
So it was VERY evident that I needed two names.
Post # 15
I think that if someone asks, you should just tell them the truth. That the venue is very limited for space, but that you wanted to make sure that there was room for their presence. I would only say that if asked, however, so I wouldn’t necessarily volunteer the information or put it on anything.