(Closed) Polite way to tell someone NOT to bring a date?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

On your RSVP card just put that you have reserved 1 seat for them. If they question it just tell them that space is limited. As long as you’re not including someone very important (long-term relationship, fiance, spouse) there should be no issue.

Post # 4
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

On my RSVP cards I wrote, “We have reserved ___ seats in your honor.” That way you can fill out the appropriate number, and hopefully people will understand they can’t add to it. 

Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with LiliKitty 


On the RSVP card just put the following:

M________________

We have reserved 1 seat in your honor.

___ of 1 will attend

and then have the regrets line.

That makes it pretty clear the invite is for 1 only.

Just remember that married couples should not be invited without their spouse as they are a “social unit”. Many also believe that if you are engaged or in a long term relationship you should be considered a “social unit” as will and not invited without the other.

Post # 6
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Just write exactly what you said and maybe add a bit like, “Unfortunately due to our venue we are very limited on space so extra guests cannot not be accomodated but we sincerely hope that you can still be present at this important event in our lives”

Post # 7
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@KatNYC2011:  <— everything she said 🙂

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Kat: I agree with that, but I also think anyone 18 and older should have the option to bring a guest.  (If that means inviting fewer people I can live with that)

 

Post # 9
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just wanted to add I don’t think it’s polite to put on the RSVP card anything along the lines of “you aren’t allowed to bring a date” no matter how it’s worded.

However, if you are putting together a wedding website you can have an FAQ section and have a question like:

“Can I bring a date?”

With an answer like what PookyShoes said:

  “Unfortunately due to our venue we are very limited on space so extra guests cannot not be accomodated but we sincerely hope that you can still be present at this important event in our lives”

Post # 10
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@peachyqueen:  Are you taking about single guests? Or guests who are married/engaged/in a relationship?

Post # 12
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

People *should* get the point, if you do the “seats reserved.” Fiance and I had been together over a year, and I didn’t assume I was invited to two weddings (until I got a shower invite for one of them.)

After we figured out our guest list, a few friends have started dating someone (less than 6 months), and we’re going to have just them on the invites. If we have regrets rsvps, we can possibly add dates.

If someone gives you a hard time, another bee posted this a while back, which I’m ready to use if needed:

“Hey man, we got your RSVP message, and we’re glad you’ll be able to make it! Unfortunately given the capacity at our venue, we had to limit our guest list to no plus ones. When we sent out the invitations (or you could say -created our guest list), you weren’t dating anyone, so we had planned on just one for you. I’m sorry, but we just don’t have the space for you to bring J… if we get declines that will allow us to add extra guests, I”ll call you and let you know. I hope you understand and I hope you can still make it. Thanks, FI”

Post # 13
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Bichon Frise:  This is what we are doing as well. We have a larger wedding around 200, but FI’s family is HUGE so it just wasnt possible for people to bring dates

Post # 14
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I did it this way…

Two seats have been reserved in your honour.

M__________________________________

M _________________________________

 

So it was VERY evident that I needed two names.

Post # 15
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think that if someone asks, you should just tell them the truth. That the venue is very limited for space, but that you wanted to make sure that there was room for their presence. I would only say that if asked, however, so I wouldn’t necessarily volunteer the information or put it on anything.

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