(Closed) Politely suggesting spanx

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Tangled:  Does your friend like the way she looks in the outfit?  If so, you don’t say anything.

Post # 4
438 posts
Helper bee

I agree with the PP if she is happy and comfortable ( and we all know how uncomfortable spanx are, I would personally rather go without) then I wouldn’t say anything.

Post # 5
5220 posts
Bee Keeper

@Tangled:  I wouldn’t say anything. If she is happy, let her wear it with the confidence that no amount of spanx could rival. 

Post # 6
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Is there a paintyline or seam somewhere?  Spanx is great for smoothing.  Without saying fat I would use that word somehow.

Post # 7
9884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Tangled:  Oh my. There is no way to “politely” suggest Spanx.  Please  don’t say anything to her like that.  You have your opinion, fine, but it would certainly hurt her feelings deeply.  If one of my friends said that to me I would never  forgive her, lol.  It would be extremely rude, please don’t do that. 

Besides, if she’s like me she may have a Spanx phobia.  I despise those things – to me they’re the most uncomfortable thing ever invented on the planet.  I can’t wear one for more than 15 minutes.  I once peeled one off in a public restroom and thew it in the trash, what a waste of $60, lol.  😉

Post # 8
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Tangled:  Even fit/slim people wear Spanx. I’d say “it worked wonders for me”. All the celebs wear it and they’re usually pretty fit too.

Could you go clothes shopping or something with her, and then if she’s like most chicks, she’ll start picking herself apart and you could be like “well Spanx is awesome.. it would totally fix X, Y, Z problem”.

Post # 9
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

There is absolutely no polite way to suggest it without hurting her feelings, ESPECIALLY if you are thinner/fitter than she is. I would just not say anything.

Post # 10
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah, I’m with the majority of the previous posters.  I would not mention Spanx to her whatsoever unless she specifically ASKED me for advice on how to get a smoother silhouette.  If she’s not asking, I would simply compliment her on the nice outfit and leave it at that.  I would hate to undermine a friend’s self-confidence!

Post # 11
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Seriously, don’t say anything, if a woman feels beautiful, she is and that all goes down the drain the minute her friend tells her it looks like two pigs are fighting under a blanket when she wears that dress.

Post # 12
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

There’s not a way to politely suggest it.

Post # 13
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

yeah i don’t think there’s a polite way to do this. As long as she is happy with the way she looks that’s all that matters.

Post # 14
16196 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m with others. There’s no way to politely suggest it, unfortunately. Even though you have good intentions, the suggestion will hurt her feelings.

Post # 16
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Maybe she just didn’t have on Spanx in that picture but she plans on wearing them.  I have a pair and only wear them when I absolutely have to – which means I wouldn’t wear them while casually shopping regardless if I happened to try on a dress while I was out.

I agree with PP; there is no polite way to say that and I don’t think you should, especially since as you mentioned, you and your friend are NOT built the same.  For example, I am plus-size and I talk openly with my other plus-size friends about the wonders that body shapers can do and I would have no problem asking one of those friends if they plan on wearing Spanx with that outfit.  HOWEVER, I have been offended before when one of my skinny friends has said (in a not-so-nice tone) “please tell me you’re going to wear something with that dress!”… um, rude much?!  Guess it really depends on your friendship dynamic, but as a general rule – do NOT mention anything to your friend. 


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