(Closed) political/moral debates with SO

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

yeah, we do sometimes … I can’t imagine a couple that agree on EVERYTHING though.  We’re on the same page about most stuff, but there are a few issues that we have differing opinions on – he’s liberal, but not as liberal as I am :).  Since they aren’t things that will impact our life together, we just agree to disagree.  But in the heat of the moment I get pretty riled up!

Post # 4
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I guess it depends on how important the issue is to you. If it’s something very important to you, I would try to get to the bottom of things, otherwise it could rear it’s ugly head in other ways.

Personally, it was very important to me that I marry someone of similiar political and ideaological beliefs because they are a representation of my basic values. However I know there are many people who have very divergent beliefs from their spouse and seem to make it work.

Post # 5
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Is it something that will affect your future relationship?

If not – just agree to disagree!

One of the things that made me fall in love with my SO is that fact that we can have very interesting topics about politics/morals/abortion/religion etc. Our major values are the same but when we dive deep into the topics there are some differences and he likes to play devils advocate and I love it – it is educational and challenging and we usually keep our cool and just have amazing discussions. I love it!

Post # 6
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

We agree on the big issues, but have regular debates or disagreements on many smaller issues.  I think it’s fun because it’s stimulates deeper conversations for us.  We’re not always stuck on the daily routine of “How was work today?” or “what do you want for dinner?”  We get to talk about ideas, thoughts, opinions, etc… and I think we both find it really interesting.

I think the most important part about debating is to not let it turn into a fight.  If either one of us starts to feel angry or upset, we both stop talking about it.  Since you’re already “infuriated,” I would ask, are you angrier that he seems like a different person now that you know his feelings on this matter?  Or are you more upset because you didn’t get to prove your point or couldn’t convince him that you were right?

Post # 7
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I disagree with my Fiance on a number of political issues, but it just opens things up for some healthy debate. But I agree with betagirl – if the issue is REALLY important to you, you should figure out if you are okay with someone holding a difference of opinion on the issue.

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