Post # 16
lim3: I hadn’t even thought if gift wrap! I did the math on the fees (taken out on our end, the giver never knows what this fee is) and for a $150 gift the fees were under $4. That’s much less than shipping, and probably about the same as gift wrap! Thanks for the insight and your perspective! PS Seems like this poll has held at around 2 to 1 ratio saying they’d give to the honeymoon fund, maybe times are changing? (Or night owls favor vacations..)
Post # 17
weddingmaven: to be fair, traditional wedding etiquette says a lot of things, and not all are followed 😉 I agree that I’d not want to give a gift if I knew that the couple wouldn’t get all of it though!
Post # 18
I also think Honeyfunds are silly. In this day and age, most people have no problem writing a check or giving money and probably will if they are so inclined. The Honeyfund seems like an unnecessary and circuitous route to get a money gift. Also, a short but sincere thank you card is all that I would need, a picture of you enjoying a lavish vacation would not be necessary.
Post # 19
I am doing a honeymoon fund too… My Fiance and I have been living together for 8 years and bought our own house last year. So we dont need any more pots, pans, mugs, etc all those household stuff. I get how some people dont like the idea of a honeymoon fund and I deliberated on it for quite some time too but decided in the end to go ahead with it. I myself have in the past contributed to friends honeyfund so not a big issue for me. I think different couples have different needs. Just my opinion. 🙂
Post # 20
I rarely buy off a registry unless i am not able to go to nuptuals and want to send a gift, even then – i generally send a check. Honeyfund’s and the like really rub me the wrong way. My first experience with them was when a close friend made one because her husband (to be at the time) refused to pay for a honeymoon even though they had the funds to do so. He also refused to pay for the wedding, and threatened to ask her father for money if she didn’t. It ended up that he paid 250 towards the cost of the wedding, she paid 2-3k and her father chipped in the rest. Sorry, now I’m getting off topic. I am much more likely to give a check than donate to someone’s honeymoon. I’m in the boat that if you can’t afford it, you probally shouldn’t go. I seem to be in the minority though. I would just have a very small or no registry and people will just default to giving checks – so instead of looking like you are asking to pay people for a trip – you are just getting a bunch of checks to use toward whatever you please.
Post # 21
mottany: “to be fair, traditional wedding etiquette says a lot of things, and not all are followed”
Just keep in mind that this poll reflects a self-selected demographic of younger people, most of whom are getting married. In reality, your wedding will include guests from a more diverse group of people, including those who are more traditional.
Post # 22
small or no registry. people will just give you money. then you can use that money towards your honeymoon.
Post # 23
I used to have my panties in a bunch over Honeyfunds, thinking it was people just cash-grabbing (insert pearl-clutching here). Then I moved in with my SO and went through the insanity of paring down duplicate items to fit in a tiny 1-bedroom apartment and got over myself. I think the ideal situation, if you’re set on a registry, is to have a small traditional registry with items at a variety of prices, and a Honeyfund. I say Honeyfund instead of just assuming people will write checks because some people (like me) are really interested in your honeymoon plans and like the idea of “giving” you a particular experience.
I’ve now done the Honeyfund gifts for two sets of friends. One sent a picture of themselves at the beautiful hike up the ruins that I contributed to, a place I’ll never realistically get to see otherwise, so that was neat. The other couple wrote a really heartfelt and appreciative thank-you note about getting to travel out of the country for the first time ever thanks to the Honeyfund contributions. I’m happy to buy pots and towels if that’s what people want, but I think the cultural distance between object-gifts and experience-gifts is disappearing rapidly.
Post # 24
mottany: I don’t live in an area where registering is a thing. But I would absolutely contribute to a honyefund. The only thing I dislike is that the registry takes a percentage off the amount that your guests will offer. But as a guest, I think a honeyfund or home fund for newlyweds is more exciting than a traditional registry (or just signing a cheque).
Post # 25
We areceived going to do this! I think it’s fine if you will still being having a registry! I like this idea bease we do live together and we do not need much (we will also be doing a registry). If our families don’t receive it well a d decide to give us money, or the items we registered for thats fine. I don’t think it’s rude or should offend anyone. Just do what makes you happy and if someone doesn’t like it then who cares?
Love the idea of snapping pictures and sending them in the thank yous!
Post # 26
I would probably just give cash or a gift card (ie amex card you can use pretty much anyplace) vs honeyfund but I wouldn’t be spiteful and give a teapot or something (like I have seem other bee’s say) because you asked.
To me it isn’t that it was in bad taste to ask but just that if I am going to just give you cash via the honeyfund site I rather cut out the middle man and just give you normal cash (technically a check since I would never put cash in a card in case it is lost/stolen)
Post # 27
weddingmaven: you make a very good point about skewed data sets, thanks again for your input!
Post # 28
If you don’t do a registry at all, people will get the hint and give cash.