(Closed) Poll: asking husband for center stone upgrade, when to ask?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: When is a good time to ask for an upgrade?

    2nd baby push present

    5 year anniversary

    10 year anniversary

  • Post # 2
    Member
    3606 posts
    Sugar bee

    You’re both adults and you presumably share finances since you’re married, so I guess I don’t see the point of beating around the bush or waiting for a specific time to discuss an upgrade. I also don’t know if I would frame it as “asking for an upgrade”…can’t you tell him you would like an upgrade, and then the two of you can sit down together and discuss whether or not it makes sense to do it?

    Post # 3
    Member
    400 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Harn Homestead

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    LovesBeingAMrs:  I dont think I get what a push present is, but none the less if I decide to upgrade it will be either at 5 or 10 years.

    Post # 4
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    Maybe open it up for discussion ( push present) but don’t constantly force the idea down his throat. He may prefer spending that kind of money on the upcoming baby or saving it for a rainy day… All depends on the guy though, good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    7881 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    You sound dead set on getting an upgrade, so you might as well ask sooner rather than later.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2238 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Do you have the money? If so I would ask about it whenever, right now even.  If it isn’t really in your budget then I would put it out of your mind until it is affordable for you.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9562 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Does your DH ask you about things you might want for upcoming holidays/special occasions? My Fiance does all the time since he never has a clue what to get me. In that case, you can easily wait until the next time he asks.

    If he doesn’t do that kinda thing, then there just isn’t going to be some perfect, magical time. And he for sure can’t read your mind. So bring it up whenever and see what he thinks about it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    436 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I don’t really see the point of upgrading (or push presents), but that’s me. Since you would like an upgrade I would still suggest waiting until the 5 year mark at least. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    7897 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    You know your family’s finances better than anyone else, but weddings/early marriage and first having children tends to be an expensive time for many people because of the cost of weddings, rings, furnishing a home (or buying and then furnishing one), and preparing for children. With those expenses, it seems like it would be more difficult to purchase a larger diamond now than before the wedding. But as I said, I don’t know your finances.

    So if you know you have the money to pay for the new stone and potentially new head/setting (a larger diamond often cannot fit into the original setting without substantial reworking), then go ahead and tell him that’s what you want to do.

    Post # 13
    Member
    11363 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

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    TheGridMonster:  solid advice. +1 

    View original reply
    LovesBeingAMrs:  it seems like you are hoping there’s a good time , or a better time, to bring this up. I would just tell him now – and point out at you would like to combine b day and push present, so that he can see you appreciate the expense and have thought about it.,

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