Post # 1
Hi bees. I would like a slightly larger center stone on my ering. My 3rd wedding anniversary is coming up and at the end of this year we will be trying to conceive our 2nd child. I’m thinking that for our anniversary I’ll say that I don’t need a gift. And then when it comes to the 2nd child ask for an upgrade vs a push present. With our baby time line this would actually have the push present be arund our 4th wedding anniversary.
My current center stone is .90ct and I don’t want a massive upgrade, just maybe 1.2 I asked our jewler and they’ll credit us the amount of what we’ve paid for the stone we already have towards a new stone and pay the difference.
I know some people say that size difference doesn’t matter between .9 and 1.2 but I absolutely will notice and it’s for me. I could care less if other people can tell the difference. I love the size of a round diamond around 1.2 CT.
Does the push present sound like a good time to ask? I think it does. Other wise I think a milestone anniversary would make sense 5 or 10 years… but I’d rather it be sooner than later.
Post # 2
You’re both adults and you presumably share finances since you’re married, so I guess I don’t see the point of beating around the bush or waiting for a specific time to discuss an upgrade. I also don’t know if I would frame it as “asking for an upgrade”…can’t you tell him you would like an upgrade, and then the two of you can sit down together and discuss whether or not it makes sense to do it?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2016 - Harn Homestead
I dont think I get what a push present is, but none the less if I decide to upgrade it will be either at 5 or 10 years.
Post # 4
Maybe open it up for discussion ( push present) but don’t constantly force the idea down his throat. He may prefer spending that kind of money on the upcoming baby or saving it for a rainy day… All depends on the guy though, good luck!
Post # 5
You sound dead set on getting an upgrade, so you might as well ask sooner rather than later.
Post # 6
Do you have the money? If so I would ask about it whenever, right now even. If it isn’t really in your budget then I would put it out of your mind until it is affordable for you.
Post # 7
I guess I just feel like since it was his initial purchas he has more “ownership” over this item. But you raise a solid point. We share all decisions on upgrading our house, yard, vacation spending etc.
Post # 8
Does your DH ask you about things you might want for upcoming holidays/special occasions? My Fiance does all the time since he never has a clue what to get me. In that case, you can easily wait until the next time he asks.
If he doesn’t do that kinda thing, then there just isn’t going to be some perfect, magical time. And he for sure can’t read your mind. So bring it up whenever and see what he thinks about it.
Post # 9
I don’t really see the point of upgrading (or push presents), but that’s me. Since you would like an upgrade I would still suggest waiting until the 5 year mark at least.
Post # 10
with our 1st baby he bought me a peice of jewelry as I suppose a’ thank you’ for what I went through in childbirth and to note the milestone.
Post # 11
You know your family’s finances better than anyone else, but weddings/early marriage and first having children tends to be an expensive time for many people because of the cost of weddings, rings, furnishing a home (or buying and then furnishing one), and preparing for children. With those expenses, it seems like it would be more difficult to purchase a larger diamond now than before the wedding. But as I said, I don’t know your finances.
So if you know you have the money to pay for the new stone and potentially new head/setting (a larger diamond often cannot fit into the original setting without substantial reworking), then go ahead and tell him that’s what you want to do.
Post # 12
we have the money. Could do it tomorrow if we wanted… haha my husband just prefers not to ever spend money. He’s a saver. So that’s really the issue. He will though buy me things for special occasions so it’s best that I time this with an occasion that he’d already be planning to spend money at vs just a random day.
Post # 13
solid advice. +1
it seems like you are hoping there’s a good time , or a better time, to bring this up. I would just tell him now – and point out at you would like to combine b day and push present, so that he can see you appreciate the expense and have thought about it.,
Post # 14
I usually just tell him what I want or give him a few options to pick from lol and hes come to rely on me being out spoken and telling him what I want. For my 30th birthday I told him I really wanted either diamond earings or a michele watch and I sent him links. He got me the watch which I totally love!