POLL: Best Age Gaps for having babies

posted 3 months ago in Babies
  • poll: Best Age Gaps for having babies
    less than a year gap : (0 votes)
    one year gap : (5 votes)
    7 %
    two year gap : (30 votes)
    39 %
    three year gap : (33 votes)
    43 %
    four year gap : (5 votes)
    7 %
    five year gap : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Over 5 year gap : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    7131 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    mama2bee71 :  I know plenty of people that did 2 under 2 and it’s rough but doable. I have friends that ended up with 3 under 16 months! The second pregnancy was planned but they didn’t plan on twins lol. They all survived and now that the kids are older they’re all really close which is nice. 

    Are you breastfeeding? I was told you need to have weaned in order to do a FET. That was another reason for our delay – my daughter just weaned herself a month ago. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee

    we’re going to have to be in the 2 under 2 camp due to our age (mostly DHs — he is 10 years older than me!). Plus I think I want to just get it out of the way… I have a 5m old and the though of doing sleepless nights for 10 years v knocking it all out at once basically is really appealing right now LOL

    Post # 21
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    mama2bee71 :  Hey darling!  I hope you’re enjoying your little one!

    As you know, it took Darling Husband and I awhile to TTC.  We were hoping to start TTC this month, but as it was actually approaching, I went into a panic about the thought of having another baby by early next year.  I’m a little bummed we won’t get the two year age gap… but now we’re shooting for TTC starting in September for a 26+ month age gap.  I hope it’s still close enough in age where they like the same things.  

    Post # 22
    Member
    801 posts
    Busy bee

    We’re planning to do 2nd transfer when my first is about 21-22 months old so there will be about 2.5 years between them if all goes as planned. I haven’t felt “ready” yet but looking at friends whose kids are about 2.5 years apart, it’s a big enough skip that the older can be a good helper and is ready for big kid bed, almost ready for potty training, etc.  So hopefully won’t feel like we have two babies but close enough in age that they will hopefully love each other and want to be buddies 🙂 

     

     

    I was 110% NOT READY at his 1 year birthday. I still had more weight to get off and it just felt way too soon to start the process over again. But my bestie just did another transfer on her child’s 1st birthday so to each her own.  I’ll be about 40 when #2 is born FWIW. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    7131 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    dgirl715 :  oooooooooh the sleeping arrangements is another good consideration. Being able to skip buying a second crib is pretty major! 

    Post # 24
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    Mine are 22 months apart, so 2 years.  I was older 37 and 39, so I didn’t really want to wait. 

    I too thought having them close together would mean they would be better friends growing up.  That ebbs and flows.  Older girl, younger boy…they go through periods where they are the best of friends and then overnight, they seem to have nothing in common and can’t even carry on a conversation without a fight! Now at 15 and 13 they seem to constantly be annoyed with each other.  Am waiting patiently for that to pass.  

    Had we met earlier, I would have liked to have had 4. Two, two years apart…wait 4 or 5 years and have another two…but life got in the way.  No regrets though…I feel lucky with the ones I have!

    Post # 25
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    I’d prefer not to have more than one kid in diapers, but other than that, I’m not really concerned. There’s 5 years between my middle bother and I, and we grew up super close.

    Post # 26
    Member
    9215 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    3-4 years would be ideal for me. We’re looking at closer to 5 years now though due to circumstances.

    I was not in any way ready to be pregnant again when dd was 1. Ugh, no way lol.

    A big factor for us was daycare costs. Two kids is a pretty penny and we didn’t want them overlapping for too long.

    Post # 27
    Member
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    fromatoz :  I am in the same sitation… my dh is 12 yrs older then me..I also have an almost 5 month old. So part of me wants to do my second transfer when our daughter is one due to his age….but I dont feel ready yet at all and I wonder if I will closer to the 1 year mark. If I still dont I will probably push it to next summer. Do you feel ready?? I’m wondering if you ever really feel ready? I totally get just wanting to get it over with and having all the sleepless nights close together instead of spaced out! Also we have one final frozen embryo ….a part of me wants to do the transfer to get it over with so I wont have to think about it anymore. Ivf is anxiety inducing enough. But I also dont want to have a little one too soon and I want to RIP my hair out! Although reading through these posts…..I kinda think whatever we chose we will get through it. 

    OP- you know I am in the same boat as you and cant decide when! As we have talked about many times through pp….its crazy how we knew having one child through ivf would be stressful but it never occured to us it would be stressful deciding when to have the second! But it does sound like ivf or not….this can be a tough decision!

     

     

    Post # 28
    Member
    1706 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    We will start trying when baby is 14 months old so they will be about 2-3 years apart (depending on how long it takes to get pregnant). I think this is perfect because far enough that they’re not both so young but close enough that they will be close (hopefully). (This is all subject to change once LO is born haha) 

    Post # 29
    Member
    6047 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    Our first two are 28 months apart and our second and third are 19 months apart. Honestly, I liked the smaller age gap much better. For us it was ideal because the prior child has no memory of a time without their sibling; they’re close enough in age to really get along; they’re close enough in grades to help one another with school work; and for us as parents, when we were done with diapers, we were DONE. When they were all able to dress themselves, that stage was over for good. We really didn’t want to have to go back to diapers after the other child was using the bathroom independently. 

    Additionally, our kids are close enough in age to mostly like similar things, and there was less worry about something being inappropriate for the younger child with them closer in age.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1923 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    We’re going for a 18month – 2 year gap, hopefully. We’re both older and we need to get going. Our baby is 6 months old, I’m 36.5, and my hubs is 46! We figure we’ll just suffer through crappy sleep and diapers and toddler tantrums all in one fell swoop (hopefully). 

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