POLL: Best Age Gaps for having babies

posted 3 months ago in Babies
  • poll: Best Age Gaps for having babies
    less than a year gap : (0 votes)
    one year gap : (5 votes)
    7 %
    two year gap : (30 votes)
    39 %
    three year gap : (33 votes)
    43 %
    four year gap : (5 votes)
    7 %
    five year gap : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Over 5 year gap : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    376 posts
    Helper bee

    I only have one kid right now so I don’t know anything lol, but I’d say if we weren’t considering finances, our own social situation, etc then we probably would’ve aimed for a 3-3.5 year age gap. Far enough apart we wouldn’t be bombarded with a newborn and 2-year-old (I found age 2 difficult) but close enough they will still grow up as peers….I was almost 4.5 years older than my sister and I found it to be a bit too big of a gap. It wasn’t the end of the world though, we still have eachother no matter the gap. Our kids will probably end up with the same if not a bigger gap due to our situation right now. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    1656 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    We want 18 months.  Get it over and done with. My sister & i are 18 months apart & we were the best of friends growing up.

    Post # 33
    Member
    9074 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    dgirl715 :   LilliV :  mine are 20 months apart.  i didn’t want to buy a 2nd crib and put DS in a twin bed at 18 months.  it was perfect.  it’s a frame, bunky board, and matress so he was able to climb in and out himself.  Dirty Delete is 15 months now and can almost climb in DS’s bed herself.  she gets out with no problem.  i’ll probably convert her crib to the toddler bed around 18 months as well.

    Post # 34
    Member
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee

    candy08 :  I have boughts of feeling ready and other times like nooooo— I need a few more years! I think ultimately if we decided to wait and/or stopped here, I’d always regret not trying. But now that the NB fog has lifted a little and we’re on to more “fun” and rewarding stuff, I think I’ll be ready again soon.

    I want to get ONE MORE big vacation out of the way first!

    Post # 35
    Member
    787 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    fromatoz :  I hear ya on wanting to go on a big trip first! We feel the same way and I do agree it is getting easier the further out of the newborn phase we get so maybe I will be ready sooner then I think. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    mama2bee71 :  We don’t have kids yet, but we want 2 and are planning to have around a 3 year gap. 

    We will both be working, except I will get 12 months maternity leave after each kid.  This means only one kid will be in childcare at a time which will help with household budgeting.  Kindegarten starts at 3-4 which is subsidised more by the government than childcare. 

    We will only have 1 kiddo in nappies at a time and only have a single pram. 

    But it’s still close enough in age where they should be able to play together when they are a bit older. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    2547 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    My son is 4 and i’m currently pregnant. Honestly this age gap is perfect for us. My son is in school so his child care costs are basically nothing. He’s independent and able to help, but still young enough that there isn’t a huge gap. We got to fully enjoy my son during his infant and toddler years without split attention. He’s out of diapers, sleeps through the night with no issues. 

    There’s no way I would want to try to swing 2 in daycare at once (cost wise) so it made sense for us to wait. If we decide to have a 3rd (pretty unlikely but a possibility) we would probably do a 3-4 year age gap again. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    2424 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I have a 2 year age gap. It’s good in the sense that my son didn’t really get jealous or phased at all my his sisters arrival. And they’ll grow up with similar interests and similar stages. But selfishly I can see why people wait 5 years to have another. I have found it hard to juggle them both in terms of ; I miss my adventures with my son and all the stuff we did together that we can’t really do now because of baby, but on the flip side I wish I had all the time to just be with my baby girl – time she’ll never get because of her bro always taking up my time etc…. it’s a juggling act!!! He’ll be going to kindergarten soon which will help. I have a 5 year gap between my brother and I , we’re close now but we’rent growing up because I was 15 and partying and he was a wee 10 year old etc.  Honestly long story short I don’t think there is a good age gap – all of them have pros and cons! 

    Post # 39
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I thought we’d aim for a two-year gap but as it turns out we weren’t feeling ready in time – and besides my period only returned when our daughter was 18 months old, probably due to a combination of nursing and having had the depo injection after giving birth. We’ll likely end up with a just-under-three-year gap. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    mama2bee71 :  Me and my sister are 5 years apart. We didnt get along and didnt like eachother until adulthood. Personally I wouldnt do an age gap that big. We are going to shoot for 2-3 years apart. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    I voted 3, but as we currently have no kids, who can say. Research suggests that it’s healthiest for mom and baby to have 2 years (or more) in between delivery and the next pregnancy, especially if you nurse. I also have this idea that it would suck to have multiple kids in diapers. If we had the benefit of age/time on our side, I’d probably think that 4-5 years would be even better. I know people who are very close with siblings who have larger age gaps, and people who can’t stand their close-in-age siblings…it’s about personality, which you can’t control for. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    1029 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

    I have one kid right now who is turning 1 soon BUT. My OB clinic was pretty specific that we should try and wait 2 years at least to make sure everything had fully healed up before even trying again. I have a visiting nurse who comes and sees me who said the same thing when I expressed that I was afraid my pills may have failed right around my daughter turning 5 or 6 months. They didn’t so it was a fear for nothing but it’s what I have been suggested to wait for more than once IF we decide to try again.

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