(Closed) POLL: Bridesman?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Is it okay to have a "bridesman" stand with me and my girls?
    YES : (59 votes)
    94 %
    NO : (1 votes)
    2 %
    OTHER (explain below) : (3 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Of course.  Why wouldn’t it be?

    Post # 5
    609 posts
    Busy bee



    I actually think it’s a bit weird how often people shunt their close friends and family members off to their partner’s side of the wedding party just because they are the wrong gender. This causes all kinds of problems for people including: close friends/siblings not being included, because the ‘right gender’ person doesn’t want to include them; tension between the ‘right gender’ person and the wedding party member, because they actually aren’t that close, etc, etc.

    PLEASE have your bridesman – he’s your best friend. It wouldn’t be right not to include him, and it makes far more sense for him to stand up next to you than on your fiance’s side.

    Trust me, LOTS of people do this – it happens all the time these days, no one will blink.

    Post # 6
    1069 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    mrs.freund:  ‘Traditional’ people can go jump in a lake. Are you really going to throw your supposed best friend under the bus over what some old fuddyduddies around the water cooler might think?

    Post # 7
    768 posts
    Busy bee

    Absolutely! You should have your closest friends/family members standing by your side on your wedding.  FI is having two best ladies,  a groomslady,  and five groomsmen.  Heis going to have people he’s really close to. 


    We’ve heard the “it’s not traditional” over and over again.  We will of course do what we want or makes us happy.


    Congrats on the engagement!!

    Post # 8
    2691 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I thought about doing this myself, I didn’t because a) my Fiance didn’t want me to (and he didn’t because) b) my relationship with the man in question is… volitile, lol. If this weren’t the case, I totally would though!

    Post # 9
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Absolutely! When one of my best friends married her now husband earlier this year, his best man was a woman. And no one batted an eyelid.

    Post # 10
    1643 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    mrs.freund:  100% yes.  I think you should absolutely have your besties stand next to you as you combine your life with your FIs.  Gender of your besties shouldn’t make any difference!!  🙂

    Post # 11
    3552 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    There wasn’t a single woman in our bridal party in the end (2 were asked one had to be out of the country and the other was not responding, both would have been groomswomen). I had my two closest friends which meant I had a man of honor and a bridesman. I started telling my more judgemental relatives early on in a planning so they had time to get used to the idea and on the day of not one negative thing was said.

    Post # 12
    1164 posts
    Bumble bee

    mrs.freund:  my maid of honour was her brothers bestman last year. It went really well and she said she much prefered standing up next to her brother than the slightly awkward situation a few years ago when she was her other brother’s wife’s bridesmaid as she didn’t know the wife particularly wel.

    Post # 13
    1000 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016


    Post # 14
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    My high school BFF (male) wore a suit that matched the bridesmaids dresses and then did one of our readings but he didn’t walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids – that felt a little too non-traditional to me But it’s a matter of personal preference. I expected a few comments from our families but all I heard were a few comments from my side that people were glad he was included. 

    Post # 15
    4524 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    We kind of went traditional, as in I stole his sister and good friend for my side. However, I would have had no problem with them being groomsgirls if Fiance had wanted that.

    The topic ‘POLL: Bridesman?’ is closed to new replies.

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