Post # 1
Okay, I’m having a bridesmaid dilemma. I’m one of those that has a very small number of very close friends as opposed to lots of semi-close friends. My very best friend in the whole world just so happens to be a male. I can’t imagine getting married without him being a major part and I want him to stand next to me. Future hubby approves, but I need some more opinons. Do you think it’s okay to have a “bridesman” and have my bff stand next to me and my girls at the ceremony?
Post # 3
Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?
Post # 4
Audrey2_sings – I know I shouldn’t worry about what others think but I guess I’m concerned that because it isn’t “traditional” people are going to have all sorts of opinions about it.
Post # 5
I actually think it’s a bit weird how often people shunt their close friends and family members off to their partner’s side of the wedding party just because they are the wrong gender. This causes all kinds of problems for people including: close friends/siblings not being included, because the ‘right gender’ person doesn’t want to include them; tension between the ‘right gender’ person and the wedding party member, because they actually aren’t that close, etc, etc.
PLEASE have your bridesman – he’s your best friend. It wouldn’t be right not to include him, and it makes far more sense for him to stand up next to you than on your fiance’s side.
Trust me, LOTS of people do this – it happens all the time these days, no one will blink.
Post # 6
mrs.freund: ‘Traditional’ people can go jump in a lake. Are you really going to throw your supposed best friend under the bus over what some old fuddyduddies around the water cooler might think?
Post # 7
Absolutely! You should have your closest friends/family members standing by your side on your wedding. FI is having two best ladies, a groomslady, and five groomsmen. Heis going to have people he’s really close to.
We’ve heard the “it’s not traditional” over and over again. We will of course do what we want or makes us happy.
Congrats on the engagement!!
Post # 8
I thought about doing this myself, I didn’t because a) my FI didn’t want me to (and he didn’t because) b) my relationship with the man in question is… volitile, lol. If this weren’t the case, I totally would though!
Post # 9
Absolutely! When one of my best friends married her now husband earlier this year, his best man was a woman. And no one batted an eyelid.
Post # 10
mrs.freund: 100% yes. I think you should absolutely have your besties stand next to you as you combine your life with your FIs. Gender of your besties shouldn’t make any difference!! 🙂
Post # 11
There wasn’t a single woman in our bridal party in the end (2 were asked one had to be out of the country and the other was not responding, both would have been groomswomen). I had my two closest friends which meant I had a man of honor and a bridesman. I started telling my more judgemental relatives early on in a planning so they had time to get used to the idea and on the day of not one negative thing was said.
Post # 12
mrs.freund: my maid of honour was her brothers bestman last year. It went really well and she said she much prefered standing up next to her brother than the slightly awkward situation a few years ago when she was her other brother’s wife’s bridesmaid as she didn’t know the wife particularly wel.
Post # 14
My high school BFF (male) wore a suit that matched the bridesmaids dresses and then did one of our readings but he didn’t walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids – that felt a little too non-traditional to me But it’s a matter of personal preference. I expected a few comments from our families but all I heard were a few comments from my side that people were glad he was included.
Post # 15
We kind of went traditional, as in I stole his sister and good friend for my side. However, I would have had no problem with them being groomsgirls if FI had wanted that.