Post # 16
100% we would both rather work the same shift and send kiddo to daycare full time.
Personally I don’t think I would do well basically only seeing DH on the weekends. I also don’t think I’d enjoy basically parenting alone, which can get very tiring and frustrating after a while with no breaks. Coming home after work and eating dinner together every night with our daughter is also important to me.
It absolutely does suck sending your infant to daycare. I won’t lie about that at all. But it gets better. My 3 year old really thrives there, has a lot of friends and learns so much more than we could ever teach her.
Post # 17
My son loves daycare, and we have seen leaps and bounds in his development since he started. In fact, I’m currently on mat leave, but he’s still going 3 times a week because i think it’s really important for him to learn the social skills he’s developing there.
We have family time every evening: we usually go to the park, have dinner and do bath/bedtime all together. I look forward to it all day.
I also think opposite shifts would likely have a negative impact on your relationship, and i’d be hesitant to see my partner that little if it could be avoided.
That being said I’m also in Canada, so i had the whole first year with my kiddo….
Post # 18
Finances permitting, I would rather us work the same schedule and the child be in daycare fulltime. If you have a really good daycare place, the kids do wonderfully there and they have teachers that are amazing. I also think kids behave better there which makes things easier in some ways. It’s really good for socialization and learning. I think my kids would do better at daycare than with a frazzled parent who is more stressed out because their partner isn’t home so they’re taking care of everything with no real family time except weekends. Parenting alone and trying to teach them can get very stressful. At daycare they have more peer pressure which results in better behavior lol.
Of course, if it’s really better financially I would do the opposite shift thing. I will also say that I don’t think infants get anything out of daycare and would prefer not to send my kid until closer to 1 but toddlers and preschool age do very well at daycare. My 4 year old (and true when she was 3) is much better off at daycare with a structured routine than at home all day. Also, many places part time daycare is more per hour than full time. So something to thing about. While you are saving money overall, you might be paying more per hour.
Post # 19
Same schedule. Right now SO and I work pretty opposite shifts (although his is variable…there are times he is home for dinner, times he isnt, times he isn’t home until 3am, etc). It’s really hard to find time to spend together as a family. I viewed daycare as my sons school. He’s there for a full day, and I don’t see anything wrong with it. Now that he’s 4 he’s in actual school all day and he flourishes. He is so smart, very socially aware, and I credit a lot of that to the fact that he was in daycare full time since he was around 1 year. I wouldn’t change anything about him being in daycare full time honestly. (besides the fact that I wish it wasn’t so damn expensive) LOL
Post # 20
did daycares in your area say they charge by the hour instead of by day? We pay a set fee for 5 days a week regardless of if she is there for 2 hours or 8. We pay if she’s home sick and we pay if the school is closed for any reason (holiday or snow closure). She does very well at school and it’s been great for her. It’s much better to have the family time.
Post # 21
I’d rather have more time together as a full family and more time in daycare. You always hear about how common it is that parents focus on the child to the exclusion of their own relationship, and anything to help prevent that would be beneficial for everyone in the long run.
My exH and I worked opposite shifts, often out of town, for years and it was one of the very biggest contributors to the demise of our relationship. IF you work very hard to maintain your relationship through that, you can – but we (he especially) didn’t. And before you know it, you’ve grown apart.