POLL: did your SO follow the '3 month rule' when buying your e-ring?

posted 8 months ago in Rings
  • poll: Did your SO spend 3 months income on your engagement ring?
    Yes, it was around that much : (21 votes)
    8 %
    No, it was less : (216 votes)
    85 %
    No, it was more : (17 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 31
    1263 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

    Mine was absolutely nowhere near, my engagement ring and wedding ring together came to about a week if my husband’s salary. I chose the ring, I would have thought he was crazy if he spent 3 months salary on it, there’s no way I’m walking around with something that valuable in display!

    Post # 32
    1057 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Also no chance!!! I’d be terrified with anything that expensive on my finger! Mine was about 4 days’s salary in a half price sale!

    I also thought the “tradition” was a month rather than three! 

    Post # 33
    1947 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it’s a crazy idea – and so obviously a marketing stunt to get us to spend more than we need.  Unless you’re incredibly well off, I think it’s irresponsible to spend that much.

    We spent WAY less for two reasons.  1) My husband earns just about enough to live on with a tiny bit over so 3 months salary would have meant either going into debt or delaying our engagement for years!  2) The reason his income is so low is because he’s a church minister, and has a part time job so that the church doesn’t have to pay him apart from providing the house – bearing in mind that many in our community are living in poverty, neither of us would feel comfortable with me waving an expensive ring around, even if we could afford it.   

    Post # 34
    751 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @greeneyedbee:  Right? I also rwmember when it was two. The diamond industey sets these “guidelines,” so look for it to eventually be 6, lol. 

    Post # 35
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    Mine was about what my husband made in a week. I just can’t imagine walking around with a $12,000 rock on my hand at the age of 22. That just seems negligent lol. 

    Post # 36
    92 posts
    Worker bee

    Totally think this depends on your financial situation. My ring at the time was probably one week’s salary. But we were also saving up for our wedding, deposit for apartment, and a new vehicle. 

    I much preferred having a newer reliable vehicle when we got married than a more expensive ring. However, as our finances improved, we did upgrade the size of the ring later on. Now, I would rather save than spend. But that’s just me! 

    If I were to give advice to anyone, I’d say if you have a decent savings that you feel comfortable with or a job that is secure, then spending 3 months worth is probably OK. But totally not necessary! Especially with the options that we have today for rings – Moissanite, different types of metals, gemstones, and so many stores/online shops of where you can purchase a ring! 

    Post # 37
    969 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 1996

    We spent way less.  We felt that the three-month rule was outlandish.  I say each couple should simply budget whatever they’re comfortable with. 

    Post # 38
    717 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We used an heirloom diamond from his grandmother so the ring was less than one month’s salary. It’s worth much more than 3 months, but if we didn’t have a stone he would have gone either the sapphire or lab diamond route and spent only a little more than he did on my ring. 

    I can’t even imagine what a ring worth three months of our current salaries would look like. It definitely wouldn’t be something I’d want to wear as it would be way too extravagant. Plus, I’d just be mad about all of the vacations we could have taken instead. 

    Post # 39
    211 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think he spent about 2 days worth of salary. 

    Post # 40
    331 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2021

    Definitely not!! If someone makes, say, 70k a year, that’s.. I guess around $5800 a month, but then after taxes and living expenses and just LIFE… saving 5800×3 would be super hard. While the ring has a lot of significance and symbolism, it should NOT break the bank. After all, after the ring comes the wedding – way more expensive. And if someone makes less than that, or has debts they are paying off, saving for other things like a house, etc – nope. 

    While I do think there is some correlation between income and ring price, it isn’t a rule of thumb, much less a direct relationship. For example, if my fiance had spent a few months saving up maybe we could have spent more – but 1) I didn’t feel comfortable with it and 2) we were about to buy a house. When we (finally) discussed actual price ranges (because omg getting him to talk specifics at first was like pulling teeth), we had the same budget in mind ($2500-4000). If someone makes more, or has low living expenses, no debt, or has a lot of savings.. maybe they’d feel fine spending like 10k+, but it’s definitely not a one size fits all anymore! (and I’m sure it never was to begin with, really) 

    The diamond industry managed to get people hooked on the idea that diamonds were the only acceptable stone for a while there, but fortunately people have been enjoying more variety lately with sapphires, morganite, rubies, etc, plus I love that there are diamond-looking alternatives for a variety of budgets.

    Post # 41
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee

    Just out of curiousity… is the “three month salary” the diamond industry pushes your gross salary or your net?

    Post # 42
    493 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2018 - Toronto, Ontario

    I got his mom’s ring. But he said otherwise he would have followed that, to which I responded that I would have been very upset if he dropped 1/4 of his yearly income on a piece of jewelry when we could put it towards home improvement or retirement savings lol. Even though I love jewelry. 

    That being said, when my Father-In-Law bought it, it was 3 months income. 

    Post # 43
    2919 posts
    Sugar bee

    My husband spent probably less than one weeks salary. 

    Even if he wanted to spend that much, I wouldn’t let him. I think for most people it’s totally unreasonable. 

    Post # 44
    5 posts

    He did have that much saved for the ring budget, but we went shopping together and I chose a ring that literally cost 1/30th of that because I wanted something pretty but practical. He still wanted to spend the rest of the money and got me the Range Rover I wanted.

    Post # 45
    9 posts
    • Wedding: August 2021

    View original reply
    @gracefull:  We absolutely did not, I would have killed him if he did! My ring is not cheap by any means but we couldn’t see the point in spending more on the ring instead of paying down our remaining debt together. 

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