Post # 46
I really do love my (future) in-laws. We get along so well even though we really couldn’t be more different! They’re loving, kind people and even though they’re deeply religious, they don’t judge me for not being religious (I’m an Atheist) or for our lifestyle being so different from theirs. They genuinely just want their son to be happy, and I feel very lucky to have fallen in love with a man with such a wonderful family.
My Fiance, however, has issues with one member of my family, my younger sister. My older sister used to not like him as well because of how our relationship started (FWB), but she likes him fine now. My younger sister can’t stand him. But other than that, he also gets along with my family.
Post # 47
Well, I married my husband because he’s THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and that doesn’t come around often lol. I would’ve married him even if his parents were Mr. And Mrs. Satan.
But my in-laws are AMAZING people!!! I can’t say enough good things about them!
Post # 48
I have wonderful in-laws & I love them all EXCEPT my husband’s brother & his wife. They are the worst people in my life today! They are mean, they cause tons of drama, they are very selfish & stingy (to the point of being embarrassing to go out to dinner with because they stiff the waitress every time) definitely not generous in any way at any time, & they are just rude & controlling people. I always have a better time at events when the 2 of them aren’t there.
Post # 49
I LIKE my inlaws BUT, they are closer than my fam and see the extended fam a few times a week. I feel this is too much. I like my space.
Post # 50
I don’t mind them when they are acting like normal human beings, which is most of the time.
My Fiance is part of a blended family, and his mom is out of his life due to comments made by his father and stepmom and them forcing him to choose between her and them. Now, we are dealing with how he is not his stepmom’s “real” child (unless something good happens, like him graduating), so they annoy me with that kind of stuff.
We get along well, though, and I have never gotten into an argument with them. They just annoy me with their actions towards Fiance sometimes.
Post # 51
- Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida
I have an amazing relationship with my Mother-In-Law, Father-In-Law, Brother-In-Law and his fiance. Matter of fact they all just stayed at our house for the holidays with us and my Mom. My Mom and Mother-In-Law get along great! I couldn’t have asked for better in laws! They truly treat me as their daughter not their daughter in law. When we were shopping a sales person called me her daughter and we just smiled.
ETA: We live in the same city as my mom and his parents are about 45 min away in the next town. We see his parents 1-2 times a month for lunch and my mom about once a month (she has a crazy schedule with her days off in the middle of the weeek when we are working) and We talk to our parents at least every other day
Post # 52
I really like my Future Father-In-Law. He’s very opinionated and a bit crazy, but not in a negative way, if that makes sense. He also ADORES my Fiance, which I think is just the cutest. Unfortunately, my FI’s mother passed away before I ever got to meet her.
I voted for the second option, only because we’re long distance and only see each other once or twice a year.
ETA: I didn’t think about my FI’s siblings! I love his brother and sister in law. We hang out with them all the time, and it’s great. He has another brother who lives across the country who I only met once, but even Fiance isn’t that close with him.
Post # 53
I love my inlaws and although I married my husband there is some truth about marrying into a family. That’s why families are part of the wedding, why its customary for parents to great the new unit into “their family” during toasts. When things go poorly we usually end up relying on family over friends (think sickness, job loss, money issues/bankruptcy).
My inlaws treat me really well and when I’ve been peeved by something they say/think I take time to analyze where it’s coming from and in their case it’s because 1) They love us 2) They miss us 3) They want the best for us. Because of this we all tolerate and care for each other deeply because we know that our intentions and feelings for each other are sincere, genuine and out of love.
Post # 54
Unfortunately, I don’t care for my future Mother-In-Law. My fiance’s dad has been out of the picture for years and his step dad passed away before we started dating. At first I only knew that his mom had a lot of health issues. It turns out she has a lot of health issues as a result of alcoholism and chain smoking for years. She has spent her whole life figuring out a way to be taken care of without having to work even when she was healthy. When we first started dating she treated her son like a backup ATM which I made clear wasn’t acceptable and has gotten better, but I just have a really hard time enjoying spending any time with her.
It makes me a little sad, because my ex had a large family that I was really close to, but he treated me terribly so I guess there’s always a trade off.
Post # 55
I am blessed with kind, generous in-laws who raised an amazing son.
Post # 56
I do not get along with most of my in-laws. DH’s mother is somewhat intense and she fluctuates between liking me and not liking me, so it’s kind of hard to know which Mother-In-Law I’m going to get on which day. For example, I went all out for her birthday, planned a nice dinner with the family that was a surprise and she was so nice and appreciative during the dinner, but the next day she texted my husband that I was disrespectful to her the entire time–something DH was completely baffled about. He and my SIL said I was nothing but polite and super sweet. Mother-In-Law has a “victim” complex where no matter what is going on, she’s the victim. DH’s brother and wife are a completely different novel, but they aren’t great people either.
To answer your question about why I married my husband if I can’t stand the family, well, because I love my husband. I knew what I was signing up for and knew that it would be a lifetime of smiling instead of rolling my eyes and swallowing retorts instead of voicing them, but honestly, I’d do about anything to be with my DH. His family isn’t that bad in terms of what others put up with and we don’t see them all that much. I would love to have an amazing relationship with with my Mother-In-Law because I grew up with my mother and my dad’s mom being best friends–that was the relationship I dreamed of having, but it isn’t posisble. Mother-In-Law is not the type of person where that can happen and I’ve come to terms with it.
Post # 57
Thank you so much for all your responses!
I must say I’m surprised by the poll results thus far. I’d figured the #1 answer would be “No, but I tolerate them”
As for my own “in-laws”, we have a decent relationship. My BF and I aren’t engaged yet. However, his family has been incredibly kind and welcoming to me. To the point that I feel awkward at times. They bought me personalized gifts for Christmas, and started dropping “I love you” bombs early on.
Let me also say that i understand that there are some people who are not worthy of the title “Mom” or “Dad”. I know that for some parents its necessary to cut ties because they’re toxic.
The reason why I believe in “You marry the family” is because you’re not only committing yourself to just one man, you’re committing yourself to his entire life. That includes his family. Unless he decides to completely disown his family (and the consequences of that choice, and the history that caused it will also effect you) then you will have to interact with his family for the rest of your lives. You’re choosing to intertwine your life with theirs. Even if you only see them once or twice a year, they’re still there, in the background.
What if an in-law falls ills and needs to move into your home? What if they need you to financially assist them? Did any of you bees think of these what-ifs before marriage / engagement? Is it necessary to?
Also some of you bees mention that you loved your DHs so much that you were willing to accept his family. However, his family raised and molded him. Don’t you ever think he may be just like them, or a product of their conduct? I see elements within myself that I know I inherited from my family. So how can you dislike the family if they made your DH who he is? And do you worry that he’ll develop into being just like them?
Post # 58
Family is huge to me as well, so I desperately wish I got along better with FI’s family. However, after 5 years of dating, I still feel like an outsider. My family’s dynamic is just so different from theirs that I simply can’t get used to it. I spent last Christmas with them instead of my family and I wanted to cry.
now we are all nice enough to each other and they’re actually quite lovely with me. but in terms of spending time together or confiding in each other, we just don’t have that bond. I would never say I hate them and I don’t see us ever having marriage-breaking issues, but I also don’t think I’ll ever have the kind of relationship with them where I consider them my second parents.
Post # 59
I adore my inlaws! Every family has its issues, but overall they are amazing and they treat us both very well. My poor fiancé is the one that’s marrying into crazy. I’ve cut the alcoholic and abusive members of my family off though, so day to day it’s not too bad. Also they live across the country, so that helps bunches.
Post # 60
Not married yet but I like them. Love my Future Father-In-Law. Im closer to him then my own dad. My Future Mother-In-Law is caring in general but with Fiance she can be nasty. Seems shes closer to other son. Somethings she does with him really upset me. Dont think Im going to be able to stay quite once we are married. She can be overbaring too.