(Closed) Poll: Have/would you give a bride advice AT her wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: Would you tell the bride or a vendor if you saw something going wrong at a wedding?
    Yes, if I were the bride, I would want to know : (7 votes)
    13 %
    No, I'd stay quiet and hope it works itself out : (16 votes)
    31 %
    Depends on how bad it is : (29 votes)
    56 %
  • Post # 3
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think it depends on a couple things. How close you are to the bride, how much you think the bride will care, and how bad whatever is going on is.


    Post # 4
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    the situation you describe, I would not say anything.


    Also agree with how well I know her and how close we are.

    Post # 5
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I agree with PBL.  In this particular situation, I think you did the right thing by staying out of it.

    Post # 6
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I agree with the ‘it depends’ thing. I would have done what you did and just hoped it worked out in that situation. Had she just gushed to me about how she REALLY wants photos of Grandma cutting a rug before she turned in for the night, and I just her Gma say she was heading out, then I’d politely say something to someone. Totally depends on our relationship and the circumstances and how ‘fixable’ the problem is. No use worrying her that i heard the caterer say they ran out of beef dishes so the rest are getting chicken if she can’t do anything about it.

    Post # 7
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I would find someone else to tell like maybe mob or moh and let them handle it 🙂

    Post # 8
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I don’t think pointing it out would be very helpful in that situation. Because it’s too complicated to explain to the photographer HOW to group people together, so by nature they just walk around snapping photos of what they see going on. And the ones who are scantily clad are usually by nature the most outgoing, so there will be more pics of them on the dance floor than others.

    I would never point anything out to the bride or groom, but I might grab the Maid/Matron of Honor or wedding coordinator if I noticed something really bad going on – like underage kids sneaking drinks or someone stealing from the card basket. Once Darling Husband and I were at a wedding and the dance floor was lit up like an operating room all night which was really bothering all the guests so we quietly pointed it out to the DJ at like 10:00pm who was able to dim the lights. But I never would have pulled the bride or groom aside to discuss it. Another wedding we went to closed down the bar during dinner and people were leaving in droves to go out and get alcohol, but I didn’t say anything – I just forbid Darling Husband from joining everyone, lol!!

    Post # 9
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I agree not to say anything to the bride and groom – they’ve done all the planning up until that point, let them enjoy the wedding without having to worry about the details. I would however bring it up with the Maid/Matron of Honor or MOB and let them take care of it.

    Post # 10
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would give advice to the photographer in this situation.. I would try talking to the vendor or anyone providing service first before going to the bride and groom.. also I would talk to the BM’s or Maid/Matron of Honor so that they could handle it before stressing out the bride..

    my maids of honor already said that on the day if there’s any issues they’ll handle it because they don’t think my Fiance and I should be bothered on our wedding day and I agree.

    Post # 11
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would say something to the Maid/Matron of Honor instead.  This is the one day the bride has for these pictures to come out spectacular… she should have the situation nipped in the bud without causing her stress.

    Post # 12
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    As a guest is it not your place to make that judgement. Keep your mouth shut and let the day flow as it does. The day-of-coordinator is the only person who needs to know, and guests usually are not made aware of who that person is.

    Post # 13
    2550 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If it was my family or someone close, I would speak to the DOC or Maid/Matron of Honor.  I would never tell the bride because its Her Day and she will find out soon enough.

    Post # 14
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I would want to know but I’d probably not say anything unless it were really bad… like, “umm the DJ is passed out in the bathroom.”  😛

    Chances are I’d be too distracted to really notice what the photographer was doing.  Perhaps I might make suggestions to the bride or the photographer… not to criticize, but just to make sure certain shots were taken.  Guiding it along if you will…

    Post # 15
    258 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    In the situation you described, I would not say anything to the bride, but I would consider making the suggestion to the photographer that they should try an get some pictures of the details or make sure to try and get all family members, etc.  Maybe say that your own weding photographer did that and you were very appreciative.  No one likes to be told what to do, but if it sounds like a good suggestion, they might thank you and the bride wouldn’t get dragged in as a middle person.

    As a bride, I would love if one of my guests stepped in to make my event even better.  Especially if I got better long lasting pictures out of it.

    Post # 16
    5106 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I voted that it depends…

    It depends on how well I know the bride, and what the issue actually is.

    In this particular case, I would have satyed quiet. I probably would have just started snapping tons of photos with my personal camera and get shots of things and people I felt the pro photog was missing/lacking. They wouldn’t by any means be pro pics, but I’ve seen others take and taken some really great guest pictures at friends/family’s weddings 🙂

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