POLL how much money do you think is acceptable to spend as a bridesmaid?

posted 1 month ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: POLL how much money is acceptable to spend to be a bridesmaid?
    $150-300 : (58 votes)
    49 %
    $300-500 : (43 votes)
    36 %
    $500-750 : (12 votes)
    10 %
    $750-1,000 : (5 votes)
    4 %
    +$1,000 : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1213 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    I think the right answer to this is “what you can afford and would like to spend.”  I don’t think there’s a hard dollar number on what’s “acceptable.”  People’s weddings vary really wildly, so if you can’t afford to participate in someone else’s idea of what’s reasonable then that’s ok.

    Post # 3
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t think it’s the cost itself that’s an issue but a disregard of the bridal party’s situation/ expectations. In some more affluent circles, expense is no object and bridesmaids have no problem with buying an expensive dress, designer shoes and attending multi-day bachelorettes. For the majority though this would be an unrealistic and unfair imposition. And for someone truly strapped for cash, like a college student or single mom, even the low end of your poll would be a hardship. I think bride’s should adjust their expectations so that they aren’t creating hardships or awkward situations for their bridal party. Or they can always offer to pay for these things themselves. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    slyfox4 :  Agree with PP that even the low end of your poll would be too much for some people. My Maid/Matron of Honor is only paying for her dress (not more than $50) and planning the wedding shower. I’m paying for all her kids’ dresses and accessories (they’re flower girls). 

    Post # 4
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    slyfox4 :  Agree with PP that even the low end of your poll would be too much for some people. My Maid/Matron of Honor is only paying for her dress (not more than $50) and planning the wedding shower. I’m paying for all her kids’ dresses and accessories (they’re flower girls). 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1510 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    I made it so only the dress was mandatory and they picked it… it was 100.  There are optional services but that’s the only mandatory bit. If that was too much for somebody then I’d either pay for it or allow them to wear what they had. 

    That said, I put 300-500 because I was including gift and bachelorette costs. 100 dress, 100 gift, 200 bachelorette etc. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    4817 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I don’t think there is one answer, in the uk we don’t pay for dresses as a bridesmaid so all you really pay for is attending the hen, maybe traveling to the wedding and a gift. Obviously I would be willing to pay more for closer friends, however we don’t have huge bridal parties so if you are a bridesmaid for someone you are most likely very very close friends. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    7332 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Once I add up the cost of the dress, shoes, hair, shower, bachelorette and a hotel room or Uber I come to about $750. So I accept expecting to pay this much but it’s very feasible for us to spend this.

    For a destination wedding, I would consider the cost of the trip separately. So to me, $1000 doesn’t sound that insane for a destination wedding.

    Since you brought up dress cost specifically, I assume $250 for a dress and alterations. If it comes out under, great!

    All that being said, I would not pay $300 a night for a hotel (at least not in my area) so that seems ridiculous.

    This really comes down to what you can afford and what you’re comfortable with. 

    ETA: I do think a good friend would be understanding if you can’t afford to participate and should maybe even look at cutting costs if possible.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2826 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    slyfox4 :  I’ve been Maid/Matron of Honor twice, and a bridesmaid before as well and the amount of money I’ve spent has varied from a few hundred to a few thousand (destination wedding and destination bachelorette). 

    I don’t have a set amount that I’m willing to spend, it depends the situation.

    Your friend sounds like a biotch TBH, she shouldn’t be forcing people to stay at a specific hotel for a specific amount of time just because the’re in the bridal party. And to make you step down from Maid/Matron of Honor just because you won’t pay for an extra night in a hotel is ridiculous. I’d probably skip out on the wedding and just enjoy my vacation.

    Post # 12
    Member
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    I think it’s whatever you can afford and are willing to spend.  Two different people with 50k in liquid funds may very different ideas about whether spending $1,500 on a friend’s wedding is a good idea.  

    Kinda off topic, but I think we should collectively get bolder about having our own budgets or financial limitations instead of hoping other people limit their celebrations/ invitations to what we can afford.  I’ve gotten a lot stronger about saying “My budget for X is Y; if I can make your birthday trip/ bachelorette party/ wedding work for that amount, I’ll be there. I’ll let you know by Z date if I can.” 

    Post # 13
    Member
    968 posts
    Busy bee

     I don’t count the cost of travel or accommodations, because that would be a cost a guest would pay for as well. So just for the dress, hair makeup, shoes, Etc I would say up to $500. But I’m also the type who would want to get my hair done, makeup done, Nails Etc so I would include that in the cost. A lot of the times though that stuff is optional.

    Post # 14
    Member
    584 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

    I’m sorry your friend was such a jerk. This is exactly the idea that I feel like gets lost in a lot of posts: if you WANT to ask your friends to do something inconvenient (shell out a lot of money, attend a Wednesday morning wedding, go to an exotic destination), you can … but you need to be respectful and gracious about people saying “No.”

    I have paid $75 to be a bridesmaid, and I have paid $1000+ to be a bridesmaid. It depends on the circumstances of my life at the moment. When I was in early grad school with tons of loans and only part time work, scrimping together $100 for a dress would’ve meant I had to skip at least two bills. Now that I’m a little more professionally established and splitting costs with a married partner, I can afford a 3-night bachelorette in Savannah and a pointlessly pricey designer dress. Maybe this will always be true, maybe it won’t – I’m just lucky right now. I am also lucky that in most circumstances, my friends have in turn been compassionate and understanding about the situation (although MoHs/MoBs haven’t always been that way).

    The correct amount to spend on bridesmaid duties is “what you can comfortably afford.”

    Post # 15
    Member
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Frankly, I think that more than ~$150 for a dress and then whatever hair and makeup costs is too much, which is why I made the decision to A.) not have a bridal party myself and B.) refuse to be in any more weddings going forward. Even with my most loved friends/family, I do NOT find anything about being a bridesmaid fun…it’s infinitely more enjoyable to just be a guest. 

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