POLL how much money do you think is acceptable to spend as a bridesmaid?

posted 1 month ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: POLL how much money is acceptable to spend to be a bridesmaid?
    $150-300 : (58 votes)
    49 %
    $300-500 : (43 votes)
    36 %
    $500-750 : (12 votes)
    10 %
    $750-1,000 : (5 votes)
    4 %
    +$1,000 : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2020

    slyfox4 :  I personally feel it unacceptable to ask bridesmaids to buy anything. They’re already agreeing to be there, and travel and lodging are expense enough. In both weddings I’ve been a bridesmaid for, the bride (and in one case, groom) simply asked me to wear a dress of my own in a certain color. 

    For my first wedding, I am buying the ladies’ dresses for them. For the second, I’m asking them to wear their own choice in a color range. 

    I can’t wrap my head around this industry and how it’s grown from a wedding day to a bachelorette getaway weekend and shower and, oh, by the way, also spend hundreds of dollars on a dress and shoes and hair and makeup and also pay for your own lodging and – the bride gets to demand where you lodge?! 

    I’m glad the people I love can be there. I’m not asking anything else of them. This wedding business just feels like it encourages grown women to act like spoiled little princesses. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    11450 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Acceptable to spend or acceptable to be asked to spend? Those are two very different things.

    The only reasonable thing you can “expect” of the bridal party in the US is that they pay for a dress after consulting on budget and for transportation to a venue local to either the family or the couple. That’s it. 

    When affordable or practical, close friends may be moved on their own to do more, for example give a generous gift or host or co- host a shower or a girls night out, but that is always optional and voluntary. Not reasonable asks in my opinion are destination weddings and bachelorettes, telling people what they “need” to spend or contribute, dictating an expensive dress, hair and makeup, etc. 

    Believe it or not, accomodations for her wedding party are actually supposed to be covered or provided by the bride.

    Post # 20
    Member
    11450 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    slyfox4 :  Why was she so upset about the accomodations? Were they shared or non-cancellable? Was it about leaving “early” or that you expected her to pay? 

    Post # 21
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Man…all these “destination” Bachelorette parties. Like wtf happened to just going to a bar and drinking from penis straws?

    If my brideamaids spend more than $250-$300 for everything (their dress was $100) I would die. Irrespective of how much they earn (my Maid/Matron of Honor household is something like $200k, Bridesmaid is about $60k) this is my day, mine, and I refuse to make them pay any large amount of money for something I have asked them to do. All these stories of huge expenses….it honestly grinds my gears. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    4098 posts
    Honey bee

     I really don’t think it’s a specific dollar amount. I think it has more to do with what is being required.

    For example, I personally agree with the UK way of doing things in which the bride pays for the bridesmaid dresses. However I acknowledge that isn’t the tradition in the US. I still think that if the bride is dictating the specific dress that she ought to pay. However if it’s a situation where you’re allowed to pick any dress you want as long as it is a specific color and as long as that color is in some wild outrageous color you wouldn’t be able to find in a department store then it is not unreasonable to pay for your own.

    I also don’t think it is unreasonable to pay for your own travel and lodging as you would be doing that as a guest anyway. However if they are adding any requirements that limits your choice in when you arrive or when you leave or how long you stay or where you can stay, then I really do believe that that is the responsibility of the Bride. So if you’re going to force upon me sharing a house for 4 days, then you should pick up the tab. But if I can pick any hotel or Airbnb that I want and come and leave at a time that that’s my schedule and budget then that is on me.

    Showers and bachelorettes are optional. Spend as little or as much as our budget allows and you are free to decline.

    Post # 23
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    slyfox4 :  Depends on what you are willing to spend.  For a family member or close friend I’d happily spend over $1000 assuming I had time to save. 

    My bridesmaids spent a LOT less than that. I paid for dresses, hair and makeup.  All they paid for was accomodation (of their choice and they could have driven home instead) and a very low key bachelorette, with lunch at a winery and then drinks at my MOH’s house. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    430 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    This largely depends on where you live, and age/stage of life. I live in a state in the US where things tend to be more expensive but incomes also tend to be higher, so you’ll see bridesmaids comfortably spending $500-$750 to be in a wedding. I could personally spend $750 on being in a wedding and be okay. I think $1000+ is ridculous though, unless the entire bridal party is very wealthy with no children.  

    Post # 25
    Member
    2539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I think it really depends. I’ve spent over $1,000 on a wedding and less than $300 on another. One was a destination wedding, one was a college friend who got married while we were still in college (clearly my budget was smaller then). I honestly don’t really total it up often. I just take things as they come. I’m in a wedding next year and probably anticipate spending $500 or less.

    Post # 28
    Member
    1422 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    If I were a bridesmaid for an immediate sister of mine I would be very happy to spend $300-$400 total. But for a friend I would probably not be so happy. 

    For me, it was all about what my bridesmaids would enjoy. They’re picking out their dresses and keeping them forever. Some are getting professional makeup, some aren’t. But I’m not asking them to spend a dime more (minus my MoH who insisted on paying for some things for my shower but I didn’t ask her to lol)

    Post # 29
    Member
    11450 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    slyfox4 :  This does sound like a miscommunication. You shouldn’t have said it “should be fine” to pay for shared accomodations without knowing the extent of the commitment. And she should never have reserved something without confirming the dates with you and letting you know it was noncancellable. 

    Was she going to pay originally when you were MOH? 

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