Post # 1
Here we go again…one of my SO’s very close friends has invited him to a wedding, yet he only got a +1 invite for me. They know we’ve been together for >4 years, but I digress. Guys can be clueless when it comes to weddings, I guess, and I don’t know his fiancée.
Anyway, since joining WeddingBee, I’ve learned to *never* show up to a wedding empty-handed. So how much should I gift this couple to whom I’m not close enough to even be named on the invitation?
Post # 2
Why aren’t the two of you giving a gift together, based upon your SO’s relationship with the couple and what you are financially comfortable with gifting?
Post # 3
beethree : that makes sense, yet simultaneously changes my question: how much is expected to be given as a couple? What percentage of the grand total should I contribute if I’m just a +1?
Post # 4
I would just put my name on whatever gift SO is giving. I wouldn’t give them a separate gift from ME.
Post # 5
happiekrappie : I don’t know, I didn’t go through the list and think about how much each guest had gifted for our wedding and whether or not they gifted more as a couple. I would find that really weird on the married couple’s part if they turned up their noses because you didn’t gift a larger amount as a pair. I would just select something you and your SO like for them as a couple and feel comfortable giving and then go and enjoy celebrating their day!
Post # 6
I would give a joint gift. H and I usually give $50, but we are in a LCL area so that would vary.
Post # 7
happiekrappie : I think this is a very regional question, but in my social circle $100 for two guests is normal, so that’s what we give, give or take. (Over/under just based on what’s on the registry)
Before we were married we let the one who was friends with the bride/groom take care of the cost.
Post # 8
it’s really between you and your SO to work out who puts in what amount for the gift just like people work out who pays for dinner with their SO when they go out, everyone does things differently. Typically when my husband and I were dating and we went to a wedding of someone I was closer to you I would pay the gift and vice versa. Either way you should be getting one gift between the two of you but do you split it 50-50 or whatever you decide. ETA in my area we give double for double the guests so typically 150 pp (in ny)
Post # 9
My boyfriend and I have a rule: if it’s my friend, I gift. His friend, he gifts. I usually do $200 or something of that value off the registry for the both of us.
So… double what your SO would give if he went by himself? And he should pay for it.
Post # 10
If you are invited as a guest of your SO, then the gift is his responsibility.
Post # 11
happiekrappie : Everytime I was invited with a plus one, I just bought an extra amount of gift myself. The reverse is also true. I really can’t imagine asking my date for extra money towards the gift. If you think your date is cheap, offer him money I guess?
Post # 12
happiekrappie : normally it’s a joint gift from the two of you , me and my husband always gift $200 but that’s because we’re from the ny area and everything is expensive here. I would say if these are his friends he should gift them at least $200 for Including you. The gift should be his responsibility because they are his friends you know what I mean?
Post # 13
I voted zero because your fiancé should cover the cost of the gift. I grew up with “cover your plate” so I would give $100-$150 per person for a NY wedding. Where we live now (Midwest) the cost of living is less so we give $75-$100 per person.
Post # 14
You go in on the gift together. Whatever he wants to give, you double.
Post # 15
So whenever my now-FI and I have been to weddings (only for families), the person whose family it was paid for the gift. So if I was the “plus-1” I wouldn’t pay. It’s come out pretty even, 2 weddings for my family and 2 weddings for his family