Post # 31
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
Depends on the region. We live in the northeast. DH and I give $200 from the 2 of us when we attend weddings. That was what we received from most couples at our wedding as well.
Post # 32
Member
2619 posts
Sugar bee
Give as a couple. As for how much, it depends on where you live. I live in the midwest, and about $40 per couple is pretty standard. The only people we recieved more from was my parents and grandparents.
Post # 33
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
FH and I always purchase from the registry and sign the card or ecard together.
Post # 34
Member
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Your bf should just gift whatever he feels comfortable with and put your name on the card – it would be weird to get a separate gift imo. I usually spend more on the gift if my husband is attending a wedding with me than if I go alone, but not necessarily 2x more.
Post # 35
Member
1517 posts
Bumble bee
My FH & I usually give one gift from the two of us ~$200, $100 from each of us. In the past, we have sent a registry gift as well. We live in NJ so that’s pretty standard for the northeast.
Post # 36
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
Been a plus one a couple times recently. We’ve chosen something from the registry together and he’s paid about 65% of the cost and I’ve taken about 35% of the cost. We typically chose something about $15 more than he would have bought on his own. (For context we’re early twenties if that helps!)
Post # 37
Member
3987 posts
Honey bee
I don’t know why you wouldn’t just give as a couple…
Post # 38
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
Daisy_Mae : he’s decent-off(?) financially but I definitely am not worried about him giving someone a $500 gift lmao. He’d probably give $100 at MOST—but you’re also right in a way, because I’m definitely not giving $100 when I was not even specifically invited.
sunburn : he doesn’t expect me to give anything. Honestly we haven’t even talked about gift-giving, I’m just trying to be proactive and courteous. But from the responses I’m getting here, I may be off the hook 100%! Woot woot!
Post # 39
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
sboom : no, I’m not pissy about that at all. I can see how I may have come across that way, though. It is annoying considering the length of our relationship, but it stops there. The only reason I mentioned it in my OP was to portray how I’m not particularly close to this couple, so I thought that may be important when considering how much to give 🙂
Post # 40
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: November 2015 - City, State
happiekrappie : honestly I would just ask if you can add your name to the card. Maybe that”s cheap of me but I wouldn’t really expect anyone who was a +1 at my wedding/wasn’t very close to me, to give me even $50.
Post # 41
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
lifeisbeeutiful : I do like this advice for joint-friendships. Perhaps if these were “our” friends rather than just HIS friend (he doesn’t really know the bride that well, either) then I’d definitely be inclined to give more. We still haven’t talked about how much he’s giving (I fell asleep almost immediately after posting this last night lol) but I’ll ask him today.
I know that most people prefer cash, so depending on his amount, I may pitch in a small fraction of that just so they can get more money (I see how expensive weddings can be, so I don’t want to be a cheapskate—but I’m also not going to be overly-generous here).
Thanks for the advice, bee! 🙂
Post # 42
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
AnonBee2019 : I’ve not really been to a ton of weddings at this point in my life. I may be inclined to give more than $50–75 for people I’m actually close to, ya know? My original idea was for us to both give $50 so they’d get $100. But with all the responses I’ve gotten, I’m just gonna buy the card and slap my name on whatever amount SO decides to contribute:)
Post # 43
Member
13735 posts
Honey Beekeeper
As a side note, traditionally “and guest” is an etiquette inappropriate way to address an invitation regardless of whether it’s a +1 situation or a member of a social unit. For the former, one is supposed to ask for the name and address of that person in order to send a separate invitation. For the latter, certainly the person deserves to be invited by name.
I don’t think it’s worth being offended, though. A lot of people are uninformed but well intentioned.
If someone I was dating when I was single invited me to be his date to a friend’s wedding and expected me to contribute to the gift, it would have been a deal breaker.
Post # 44
Member
6168 posts
Bee Keeper
zzar45 : it makes sense. They’ve been together for 4+ years, the gift to the couple should come from them as a unit anyway. We always double the amount when going to a wedding together. The fact that she wasn’t included in the invite by name she can bring up to her SO, the post is about how much to give if anything when going to a wedding with a SO.
Post # 45
Member
3353 posts
Sugar bee
happiekrappie : well you’re not actually a +1, even though the couple was dumb about it. You’re a couple, and I’d gift as a couple. Our standard gift as a couple is $200.
If you were a true +1 (as in a random date and don’t actually know the couple at all), then I’d say you’re not obligated to gift anything – but your date should be “covering” the entirety of the gift that a couple would give (so your date should pay $200, if you were me)
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