POLL: How much should I gift if I’m a plus-one?

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: How much do you gift as a +1?

    $0.00

    $25

    $50

    $75

    $I refuse to give more than $75 but if you think I should give more go ahead and select this option$

    Get them something from the registry

  • Post # 31
    Member
    1199 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    Depends on the region. We live in the northeast. DH and I give $200 from the 2 of us when we attend weddings. That was what we received from most couples at our wedding as well.

    Post # 32
    Member
    2619 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Give as a couple.  As for how much, it depends on where you live. I live in the midwest, and about $40 per couple is pretty standard.  The only people we recieved more from was my parents and grandparents.

    Post # 33
    Member
    216 posts
    Helper bee

    FH and I always purchase from the registry and sign the card or ecard together. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Your bf should just gift whatever he feels comfortable with and put your name on the card – it would be weird to get a separate gift imo. I usually spend more on the gift if my husband is attending a wedding with me than if I go alone, but not necessarily 2x more.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1517 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2019

    My FH & I usually give one gift from the two of us ~$200, $100 from each of us. In the past, we have sent a registry gift as well. We live in NJ so that’s pretty standard for the northeast. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    302 posts
    Helper bee

    Been a plus one a couple times recently. We’ve chosen something from the registry together and he’s paid about 65% of the cost and I’ve taken about 35% of the cost. We typically chose something about $15 more than he would have bought on his own. (For context we’re early twenties if that helps!) 

    Post # 37
    Member
    3987 posts
    Honey bee

    I don’t know why you wouldn’t just give as a couple…

    Post # 40
    Member
    2843 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

    View original reply
    happiekrappie :  honestly I would just ask if you can add your name to the card. Maybe that”s cheap of me but I wouldn’t really expect anyone who was a +1 at my wedding/wasn’t very close to me, to give me even $50.

    Post # 43
    Member
    13735 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    As a side note, traditionally “and guest” is an etiquette inappropriate way to address an invitation regardless of whether it’s a +1 situation or a member of a social unit. For the former, one is supposed to ask for the name and address of that person in order to send a separate invitation. For the latter, certainly the person deserves to be invited by name. 

    I don’t think it’s worth being offended, though. A lot of people are uninformed but well intentioned. 

    If someone I was dating when I was single invited me to be his date to a friend’s wedding and expected me to contribute to the gift, it would have been a deal breaker. 

    Post # 44
    Member
    6168 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2017

    View original reply
    zzar45 :  it makes sense. They’ve been together for 4+ years, the gift to the couple should come from them as a unit anyway. We always double the amount when going to a wedding together. The fact that she wasn’t included in the invite by name she can bring up to her SO, the post is about how much to give if anything when going to a wedding with a SO. 

    Post # 45
    Member
    3353 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    View original reply
    happiekrappie :  well you’re not actually a +1, even though the couple was dumb about it. You’re a couple, and I’d gift as a couple. Our standard gift as a couple is $200. 

    If you were a true +1 (as in a random date and don’t actually know the couple at all), then I’d say you’re not obligated to gift anything – but your date should be “covering” the entirety of the gift that a couple would give (so your date should pay $200, if you were me)

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