(Closed) POLL: hypothetically!!!! if you BROKE UP, what would you do?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What would you do with the house/bank account?
    sell the house, split money in half : (63 votes)
    38 %
    sell house, split money according to what we contributed, and money in half : (59 votes)
    36 %
    let him have everything and move on : (10 votes)
    6 %
    I think he would let me have everything and move on : (16 votes)
    10 %
    other (explain) : (16 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    9033 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Where I am (Australia) if you live together for 6 months you are considered common law and the same rules that apply to divorce apply to you in a property settlement. So just because you walk in with the house does not mean you will walk out with it. The amount gets bigger the longer you are together and once you hit the 4 year mark the starting point is a 50/50 split. This is all of course up for negotiation between the two parties but the biggest mistake anyone can make in a divorce/break up is to just walk away. Here even in cases of domestic abuse there are free (to the victim) resources to negotiate a settlement that means you never have to see the abuser or be in the same room/building as them. 

    As a pp stated the person you divorce (or break up with) is not the person you married (or started dating). This is why I had a pre-nup that was set up when we started living together and an updated one for marriage. 

     

    Post # 32
    Member
    2109 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Well, my ex-DH and I split up last year so the way it worked was:

    He kept living in the rental apartment

    I took the car he bought me as a gift and he is still paying off

    We split the savings

    I took almost all of the furniture – it was brand new on finance in my name

    We had two cats – we kept one each

    We are still on very good terms though, I got lucky.

     

    Post # 33
    Member
    7432 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    This is why prenups are good. You sort all this stuff out while everyone is still friends. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    7899 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We were living together through most of our engagement, but we still kept expenses separate. I owned the house where we were living. I suppose, hypothetically, we’d just go our separate ways. There really wouldn’t be that many, if any, assets to divide anyway. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee

    If we moved forward now, I would take it all ’cause I’m the breadwinner and I paid for it all.  If things were paid equally they should be split equally.  If he paid for it all he should take it all, unless there are kids. Then he/she needs to make sure the kids are supported and allowed to live at the same standards.  Imo

    Post # 36
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ve wondered about this. I own the house and pretty much everything, 2 paid off cars, 1 financed car and a financed motorcycle. I would make him finance the motorcycle in his name and probably give him some money to get an apartment, but we are pretty much pay check to pay check and all of the stuff we have we each came into the relationship seperately with.  The equity I have in the home, really is mine.  I pay my bills and support myself, and he him. 

    The bigger question for me and it will probably need its own thread, is asset division for wills in in a blended family.  I don’t even know how to start that, when pretty much everything is mine. I have no problem with it going to Fiance and then to my kids, but I don’t want it to go to his kids over mine or split evenly between all of the kids as horrible as that makes me sound.

    Post # 37
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee

    I would probs leave, live with my parents, take my dog, and all the stuff in our house. It’s OUR house, but all the things in it…yeah mostly mine. He wouldn’t have a TV, kitchen, bed, none of it lol and then I’d tell him if he wants to keep the house, he can buy me out. If he wants to sell, we’ll split it 50/50. And then that would be the end of that

    Post # 38
    Member
    1497 posts
    Bumble bee

    We split everything 50/50 now. We have joint accounts that have money contributed evenly from both of us. Everything in the house was bought 50/50 but I’d probably let him have most of it. We would most likely sell the house and split it evenly.

    Not sure what would happen with the cats. I’m guessing he would let me take them as I do most of the mainanence for them.

    What a sad, depressing theoretical question.

    Post # 39
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee

    We both have/had a lot that is our own and then we have stuff together.  We woudl each get our own, split the shared stuff, I would get the pets, two I adopted before we were dating and the other since has only my name on it. Plus he would neglec them too much if left just with him.  I would then sell 90% my belongings, get a small studio in NYC/Charleston/Orlando and go back to physician assistant school.  I would love to in any of those citites, Charleston is the only possible option with Fiance because of proximity to family.  I also always regret and wonder “what if” I had finished PA/med school so that is what I would do. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’d take the animals, the mattress, and my car and leave him the house and everything in it.

    I…really love my mattress. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    280 posts
    Helper bee

    With my ex we were renting and I walked away from everything. Nothing mattered but getting out with my baby. 

    With SO he’d tell me i could have it all. But I would sell it all and split the mmoney with the majority going to him Since he’s putting everything into it all. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    5219 posts
    Bee Keeper

    willow_1960:  currently going through this by way of divorce.

    I bought him out of the house, he named a price and I was able to “pay him off”. Otherwise, the house would have been put on the market and earnings would have been split 50/50. I did not want this option for a lot of reasons, but the main one being that the house is in a GREAT location, affordable, and the value is still rising. Both of our names are on the mortgage, and it is a BEAST to refinance/remove someone from a loan like this.

    As for the accounts, we split everything 50/50 in the main checking. He kept the majority of the savings since I was keeping the house. Still not entirely fair, but we wanted to keep it uncontested, and the dollar amount wasn’t worth the court battle.

     

    I kept all the animals and the majority of the furniture, he kept some of his toys (model car, motorcycle).

    If I ever get married again, I have two words to live by: PRE- NUP.

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