(Closed) POLL Is This Your First Rodeo?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How many times have you been married?
    Once or planning my 1st wedding : (96 votes)
    81 %
    Twice or planning my 2nd : (15 votes)
    13 %
    Thrice or planning my 3rd : (5 votes)
    4 %
    More than 3x. Don't judge me. : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 2
    Hostess
    4064 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    Headed in to #2.  #1 was a great learning experience, we were 19, totally unprepared for marriage, and pregnant.  I’ve been divorced for over a decade.  I feel like this time is what my first marriage would have been like if I had let myself grow up first.  Like it would have taken me this long to really figure out what I want anyway, so I’m cool with being 35 and divorced and remarrying. I feel like this time it’s right and real and I’m making a reallly good decision.  

    And I totally believe in finding love even if it takes you a few tries… ExMIL is on her 6th husband and he is AMAZING.  He is totally grandpa to my kids, and a doting husband, and they are the cutest couple ever and I’m so happy for them and view them as an inspiration for how I would like my marriage to be.  And they’ve been through hell and are figuring it out together every day.  

    I struggle on the Bee pretty often because it’s filled with 22 year olds who think they know everything about the world and say that all subsequent marriages are doomed and that they would never divorce and how life ends at 30. I just roll my walker on outta that BS, shake my head (full of grey hair, obvs), and smile… 

    Post # 3
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    First = I was too young (19), dumb, thought I was in love. He was 7 years older, looked great on paper, but was an alcoholic-drug-using-abusive son of a bitch. Stayed 5 years too long. 

    Second = We were a great match. Made 2 great babies. He became mentally ill and we separated. Eventually (7 years later) he officially sought divorce, as a mercy to me. I’d still be married to him today but….wasn’t meant to be. 

    Third and final = The greatest love of my life. The Gift I am most undeserving of. He worships me and loves me in a way that is indescribable. I truly love him like I’ve loved no other. Our marital relationship is effortless. We are compatible in every way and best friends. The blended family  aspect with our kids raises some issues and I can easily see why 2nd or 3rd marriages have the bad rap they do, especially when kids are involved. Something really, REALLY massive would have to occur to separate us, before death parts us. I don’t feel any additional pressures or leisures because it’s a 3rd marriage, only joy, but sometimes fear also…because it’s so good, and I know the pain of bad things happening, I don’t  ever want it to end. This is it. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    First time, hopefully only. No, no couples counseling to build a framework. We have known each other for years and have been there for each other before dating, when things were tough while dating we already had the tools to push through it together. We both have divorced parents who have remarried. That, in its own way, helps. We have seen how it has failed for others, affiars, lack of communication, getting married too soon, ect. Although far from perfect, we have learned from the experience of others.

    Post # 5
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Planning for my first and only. We’ve been a couple for almost 11 years now, and life didn’t wait for vows to get tough. If I can’t stay married to him, I can’t stay married to anyone. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2669 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    desertgypsy : ***you have just entered the twilight zone*** We are like some kind of wierd weddingbee soul sisters or some shit, lol. Both having handfasting ceremonies, both chose rose gold wedding bands, both basically the same age (I’m 34 but will be 35 by my wedding), and both going into our second marriages. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1661 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    First. We’re both 26. 

    But been together almost 9 years and have been through a miscarriage, a cervical cancer scare, job loss and bought a house together and are genuinely happier than we have ever been. We are so excited for our next chapter and are both dying to TTC. 

    4 months to go 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    9861 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    This is the first (and hopefully only!) marriage for both of us. We didn’t do any premarital counseling but we did date for 8 years before getting married so I feel like we have a pretty solid foundation 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    379 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    This is going to sound strange, but I LOVE being a 2nd timer. I wouldn’t recommend it, but I learned so much about who I am and what I want. Anyway, I just got married 6 months ago after 4 years of living together and I love my husband to pieces 😍 Note: I wouldn’t be saying the same if there were kids or high drama involved. It was a clean break… we shouldn’t have married to begin with. 

    Post # 10
    Hostess
    4064 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    nykkee :  Yessss!  We must have good taste laughing 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1352 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

    Although I haven’t been married, I was engaged before (but never actually planned the wedding, thank goodness!). We had started dating at 15, got engaged at 19, and broke up at 23. I learned a lot about life, love, and creating your own happiness from that relationship, so I don’t regret it at all, but I am thankful that we didn’t get married because I think if we had, I would’ve suffered a lot longer–maybe years–to try to save our marriage. Now I’m with the man I feel like I’ve always been meant to be with, and we’re getting married next summer when I’m 29 and he’s 30.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1861 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    First, married 7 months but have been together nearly 10 years, lived together for 4. 

    We both believe divorce to be the absolute final option (if one of us cheated, abused the other etc) but my parents are currently in the middle of divorcing after 30 years so while I’m confident now I know things can change over time I just really hope it doesn’t happen to us! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    3306 posts
    Sugar bee

    About to get married for the first time in just under 3 weeks. We’ve been together for almost 6 years, have experienced many trying times in life together but always seem to come out the other side stronger. If we ever did divorce, I would not get married again. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    4231 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    First marriage. Met when we were 22 and 24, got married when we were 27 and 29, now we are 28 and 30…and expecting baby #1 in March. We didn’t do any premarital counseling, but experienced a major rough patch early on on the marriage that did require some serious ‘work’ to keep us from falling apart. We are recovering now. We still have a little ways to go, but I feel confident now we are going to make it.

    If we did divorce, I can honestly say I WOULD marry again! If Darling Husband died, a second marriage would depend on my age (if that makes any sense). If we were in our 70’s I wouldn’t see the point in re-entering the dating scene and going through the process of finding another spouse. If we were in our 40’s I’d be open to it after a reasonable grieving period.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3040 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    This is my first marriage. No, we did not do any marital counseling prior to marriage.

    The topic ‘POLL Is This Your First Rodeo?’ is closed to new replies.

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