(Closed) POLL: Just curious, do you complain about SO/FI/DH/DW?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you complain about your SO/FI/DH to other people?
    Yes, there's no harm in it : (12 votes)
    13 %
    I only talk relationship stuff with my closest friends : (33 votes)
    35 %
    I would never complain about my relationship to someone else : (37 votes)
    40 %
    Other- explain! : (11 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1324 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    no. i think it signals 1. distrust 2. lack of security in the relationship 3. immaturity

     

    so no. also, gfs and females tend to focus on the negative, so if a person did complain about their SO to female coworkers or whatnot, they’d most likely remember that than a positive and romantic thing your SO did. and then they’d never let that go. that’s just my experience. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t say I complain, but I do talk about SO’s flaws sometimes. I don’t confide in any serious issues with anyone except my closest friends, and even then I only talk about it afterward, like “We were having a really rough time with [blank] but we were able to work it out”. I’ll frustratingly joke about him sometimes mainly because he talks SO MUCH but never anything to imply that I am unhappy with him.

    Although since this is anonymous and we just got off the phone…he was supposed to be at my place at 9…then 9:15…then 9:30…at 9:45 he told me that he was leaving and would be here at 10:30. After saying at 9:05 that he was leaving. I kinda wanna strangle him a little. Because this thing he was watching went over and he just couldn’t let me know for 40 minutes. 

    However, it makes me uncomfortable when others complain about their relationship in a serious manner. We have some friends who are really awful together, and I hate hearing him complain about her (especially when she’s there…jeeze).

    Post # 4
    Member
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee

    catpeaches:  When I told my  BFF I was going to marry SO one day he was like I don’t want you to settle, are you sure?    This was all because of the things I complained about as SO and I worked out our communication styles and the little things that adjust as you bring another person into your life. So I agree, complaining can leave a bad impression on your friends/family if that’s all you share.

     SO is a special man… he’ll tell you himself it takes a special someone to put up with him and our closest friends/family sympathize with me haha but any serious issues are generally kept between SO and I. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee

    if something is bothering me I’ll bounce it off my best friend. I do that because she will call it like it is. We are in the same industry and on the same cycle.  She will tell me when I’m being a dick or just let me vent. She knows when I’m posing and tells me to have a glass of wine and relax.   I always say something positive about Fiance in the same conversation. If you only say negative this, the. That’s the picture you are portraying of your loved one.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    swonderful:  I complain about little things jokingly. Like him always leaving the lights on. Or how he eats all my ice cream. But I never complain about our relationship or marital things to anyone.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1891 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Complain? No. 

    If my husband has upset me, or we have a disagreement, the only person I will ever talk about it with is my mom. I know she is our number 1 supporter, and would never hold anything against him. She loves him as her own. So if their relationship was different, I wouldn’t. It’s nice to talk to her and get a different perspective. She is great at helping me break down the situation, or put me in my place. She has no problem telling me I was in the wrong, or over reacting, etc. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3586 posts
    Sugar bee

    I haven’t really had any major issues to discuss and anything that needed to be discussed was with my SO. I am also a very private person so I don’t like a lot of people knowing my business. So if the time did come I probably wouldn’t say anything to anyone unless it was a life threatening issue.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1624 posts
    Bumble bee

    I do, but nothing that attacks his personality or character, more just general life annoyances from living with another and being close to them. More like “Ugh, he wants to watch football instead of picking out paint colors with me tonight.” I think it sounds a little unreal if someone is always gushing about thier SO and only bringing up the wonderful thing they do or say. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is absolutely fantastic, but I wish he would close the microwave door when he is done heating his coffee. I do vent about stuff like that to friends or co-workers

    Post # 10
    Member
    1863 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    When we first got married, we agreed not to complain or bad mouth the other person.  We each have a specific few people (that we’ve both agreed on) that we can talk to about disagreements or issues that we’re having to get their perspective and help, but otherwise, we don’t talk about it with other people. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2967 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    like others, i’ll complain about little things, like him living his shoes in the middle of the living room, but i keep serious issues just between us.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    swonderful:  I complain all the time lol. But about things like, ‘he leaves his socks everywhere’ or, ‘he drinks the last of the milk and doesn’t change the bag’. Nothing serious.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2393 posts
    Buzzing bee

    swonderful:  Absolutely not. That is an excellent way to cause irreversible damage to your relationship. Women in particular tend to have quite the double standard about this. If they caught their DH’s complaining about them behind their backs, they’d hit the roof, yet they have no qualms about having men bashing sessions with their girlfriends. There is a whole section on this in Dr. Laura’s book and I highly recommend it to anyone who is tempted to complain about their DH/SO to other people. Please note I’m not talking about seeking advice from a trusted friend or loved one if you are having relationship issues; that is different. 

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    1992 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I voted other.  I don’t complain to anyone about any real problems or arguments we’re having, but I do lightheartedly complain about some of the little stuff like; Fiance leaving toilet seat up, leaving the top off the toothpaste, and etc.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    352 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Nope. I’ve come to realize that complaining about anyone is a useless endeavour that only serves the purpose of fluffing my own ego by making me right and another person wrong about something. So I’ve made it a habit never to complain. If I have a problem with someone else’s behaviour and have the ability to address it then I will. If not, then I let it go. 

    Complaining about the love of my life and best friend? Insanity!

    The topic ‘POLL: Just curious, do you complain about SO/FI/DH/DW?’ is closed to new replies.

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