Post # 1
Here is the scenario….You are in a relationship with a loved one who is in the military. His unit is set to deploy to Afghanistan and will stay there for 1 year. If he goes, he will come back with roughly $100,000 in the bank. Would you want him to go or not?
Note: You do not know where in Afghanistan he will be stationed, so you don’t know how dangerous it could be.
Post # 3
No way. I would rather have my SO unemployed, home, and living just off my salary alone than get $100k after a year of not seeing him. And if my SO is working, then his salary isn’t too far from that anyway. Not to mention the danger. I couldn’t handle that. I really don’t know how military wives do.
Post # 4
That much distance and time can be really really hard on a couple. And going to war can be really hard on a person, which makes it hard when you come back to a relationship. And there’s the whole danger issue. I made it very clear to my fiance before we were engaged that I did not want to be a military wife. Just not for me. On the other hand I know some families that it works great. Just depends on the family, I guess. But I wouldn’t recommend doing it just for hte money. Too big a risk all around.
Post # 6
I don’t mind a few weeks, but not an entire year. My answer is no.
Post # 7
I don’t think this is a fair poll. If my husband was not in the military then I would never ever take the money, I’d rather him be home. But since he is, I have no choice, I can’t keep him from deploying, it isn’t a personal choice for him, that isn’t even about the money.
Post # 8
Is he contracting with something like or may be blackwater? If so, no. I wouldn’t.
Post # 9
@mrsbzzbee: Hell no. Not for a million $$. There are easier ways to earn money.
Post # 11
I mean… does he have a choice? If he’s in the military and his unit is deploying, usually they don’t have a lot of choice, do they?
If it was a private security gig or something, no, I wouldn’t want to make that choice for us. But it also depends on his prospects at home. If he had no job options at home, was depressed about it and really wanted to be working, and if our annual average income was $30k – well $100k in a year really changes that picture for us. It might be worth it.
If he has a good job option at home, is happy here, and our household income is over $70k, well $100k doesn’t change the equation THAT much. I wouldn’t do it.
In my situation, I wouldn’t choose it. But I can see lots of situations where it wouldn’t even be an option to say no or where it really was the right choice for him/the family. People do it all the time, we could make it work. It would be a hardship, but just because I wouldn’t choose it in my situation doesn’t mean there aren’t situations where I think it might be the best choice.
Post # 12
If you are in the military and your unit is deploying, yes there isn’t a choice…unless your contract expires before they deploy. Then, you are out and are not legally bound to go.
That’s the case for my Fiance, and even though I don’t have a steady income yet I told him that I didn’t want him to go. In our situation the $ would make a huge difference, but I just wouldn’t want to go through the stress of wondering if he was okay every single day.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I would do it if were a different job than the military, probably – but the time/distance PLUS the risks of death, injury, PTSD, etc etc would scare me off. I know that women whose husbands who are in the military usually don’t have a choice though 🙁
Post # 14
@mrsbzzbee: Then I wouldn’t want him to go. Are there other factors to him wanting to go? Units are like a brotherhood, they rely on one another through thick and thin and maybe he wants to go to be there with his soldiers. I can understand why he would want to go but I sure as heck wouldn’t want him to, especially for a year!
Post # 15
been there, done that, and never again will I allow it to happen again. My husband is in the reserves and volunteered to go to Afghanistan before we met. We spent the first year of our relationship apart and I told him that I would never ever let him leave to some place dangerous like that again. He has no interest in ever going back and has a different career in mind but I could not handle the thought of going through that experience again for any amount of money. Ever.