Post # 31
I would be furious. I can’t stand it when people are so desperate for a grandchild that their children and children-in-law become incubators. You’re a person and you wanted privacy, and your Mother-In-Law is deliberately pressuring you. Don’t tell them. Keep to the plan that you want for your announcement.
I don’t know that I’d fake drink. I think that could get difficult fast if someone passes you a drink or brings you one and you’d constantly be having to dump out bottles and refill them. Instead, I would have your husband mention offhandedly to his mom that your new medication seems to be working. You could even take a sugar pill in front of them if you wanted. However, keep in mind, you’re going through a lot of trouble to play-act something, when you could just say that you’ve stopped drinking for other reasons (religion, weight loss, health, or you just don’t feel like it).
Post # 32
I read your previous post and if you are uncomfortable with lying then give her a vague answer while pointing out how insensitive she’s treating you… like:
”We already had this conversation and I still stand by with what I said (eg. Her being the last to know because of her big mouth… though you don’t have to say that’s what you are referring to). I would appreciate it if you stop analyzing my every move as if my sole purpose now is to become a baby incubator. “
Hopefully that will keep her quiet for a while.
Post # 33
cassiegirl : I agree, I’m trying to distance myself from her other than Thanksgiving this week and a company Christmas party in early December. Other than that, I won’t see her so I’ll be golden!
missinthecity : Damn I wish I would have thought this situation out more bc blaming it on Whole 30 would have been WAY easier than saying this thyroid thing hahaha. Yes I will be seeing her a lot less now that I know I’m on her radar as I mentioned in the comment to “cassiegirl” above! Totally agree we need separation haha!
ladyjane123 : Telling my Mother-In-Law at the party along with the rest of the family (25-30 people) is a possibility, but I feel that it is rude & passive aggressive to take away that special/private moment from my in-laws. I don’t want to be disrespectful- even though sometimes she oversteps her boundaries, I don’t want to stoop to that level. Your comment about my Mother-In-Law taking her phone & texting my family before we get to the Christmas party is valid. Our plan is for my husband & I to arrive at my in-law’s house before the Christmas party bc we are carpooling together. The party is at our cousin’s house about 30 min away & we usually carpool to family events that are far-ish away. We have a wooden decor sign that we’re going to give them that says “Grandma & Grandpa’s House est. 2019” then take both their phones away & get in the car & go to the Christmas party.
One cool way we were thinking of announcing it to our larger extended family at the party is through a Christmas game called “left right” which is when people read the Christmas story from the Bible with a lot of “left” and “right” words so people have to continue to pass a small gift bag to the left, then to the right, then left again, left, right- you get it. A few years ago we changed it from being the traditional Christmas story to a “family update story” so my Mother-In-Law runs the game & will say, “Sarah just started a new job RIGHT next to her house, then baby Connor LEFT his crib for a big boy bed!” Cute update things like that. I hope that makes sense haha. So before we leave my MIL’s house for the Christmas party, we will quickly edit my family’s portion of the update to include “____ and ____ are having a baby RIGHT on the 4th of July!” or something along those lines! I think it’ll be really cool! 🙂
Post # 34
Tatum : Yes I would flat out lie to my Mother-In-Law if she asked me if I’m pregnant. She basically asked last night when I got the drink & I said, “It’s not what you think.” She is definitely the type that wants to be in the loop haha!
Also, editing to add: You’re right she probably is telling her friends or even her sisters about her suspicions. Luckily all of her friends and her sisters all have grandbabies so they will likely tell her to leave me alone & I’ll tell her when I want which is all I can really hope for at the end of the day.
Post # 35
knotyet : I probably shouldn’t fake drink bc I don’t want to set myself up to fail. My MIL could come sip my drink & say “There’s no alcohol in there!” I mean, I would hope she’s not that insane, but I don’t want to find out 😉 lol
Unfortunately since I had 3 seconds to come up with my lie, I went with the thyroid medicine/no alcohol thing. I feel like I need to stick to that plan & not say “Oh I’m on this new diet with no alcohol” bc that’d make it more sketchy. If she pries at Thanksgiving, I will gladly shut her down in front of her brother-in-law & sister-in-law which would be more awkward for her than it is for me. Hoping she forgets about it with them in town. They live in Mexico full time & barely come up to visit in the states.
BearBear47 : Yes I’m comfortable with lying to her. It’s for her own good! I’m not lying to her to purposely hurt her so I feel like it’s justifiable. If she does pry at Thanksgiving I’ll shut it down for sure. Her brother and sister in law from are going to be visiting from Mexico so I bet she will be preoccupied with them!
Post # 36
Your baby announcement idea sounds like a great way to share your good news. I wouldn’t talk with her about it anymore- just the way someone would do if they weren’t pregnant. No more explanations or subterfuge, just “No” and go back to what you were doing. She can keep looking for (and finding) clues.
Post # 37
First and foremost, congrats bee! I would be so pissed at the waitress. This is your pregnancy. Only tell people on your terms and when you are ready to. BearBear47 had excellent suggestions for when she begins to over analyze your every move. I wish you the best of luck and please keep us posted!
Post # 38
I think denying it now is silly. They already know. It might cause more issues down the line if you just keep saying no or fake drink and then two weeks later say “just kidding, I’m actually pregnant!” seems weird. I don’t think that you should be forced to tell them.if you are not ready but I also think they already know, so what’s the point in trying to keep second guessing what you are doing to hide it from them at this point? Just tell them and tell them not to tell anyone.
Post # 39
I get it, but this is about you and your husband not his mom or your mom. She lost the privilege to important info when she violated your trust. Telling everyone at the party isn’t talking anything from them as this baby is about you not them. If you have to take their phones away than you shouldn’t be telling them before the party. That’s insane to try to babysit your mil to not spill your news. Her actions have consequences and you will have to put up boundaries sooner or later. Good luck with her
Post # 40
If I were you I would tell mother in law last just to prove a point. Tell my mother now because thank you for having some tact. If my mother in law acts hurt later I’d be like what’s the problem you were acting like you already knew, so I thought I didn’t need to tell.
Post # 41
- Wedding: June 2007 - City, State
acw2016 : should have stashed tampons in your purse and accidentally dropped one. Ha
I visited my family from 5w to 7.5w with this pregnancy. No one suspected a thing because I’m a teetotaler and go to bed super early anyway. It worked out, as soon as I got home, I got hit with awful morning sickness.