Post # 1
Skimmed an older thread and a bee said she had no idea her SO was looking at rings. She was so shocked when he asked her to marry him that she couldn’t even answer, just kept asking seriously, seriously….seriously??
I’m often perplexed when I hear someone say they had No Clue a proposal was forthcoming. I suspect, due to hyperbole and lack of context cues on the interweb, that being surprised by a proposal means different things to different people.
Do you mean your SO firmly didn’t believe in marriage, then pulled a 180 by proposing to marry!? Do you mean you and your partner never spoke of a future together? Do you mean you discussed marriage hypothetically as a social construct but not the two of you together?
For those that were completely in the dark and had never considered marriage to your SO, did you take some time to think about it?
This calls for a fun-filled poll. If you don’t see something similar to your scenario, please share. If you see something similar and want to share anyway, let’s hear it!
Post # 2
We dated for 7 years before he proposed and we picked out the ring (well I picked 3 and he made the final choice) together 6 months before. I knew it was coming. We agreed we were going to get married years before but didn’t want to start wedding planning until we did the more traditional proposal with the ring. He still surprised me with the exact timing and I honestly was not at all expecting it the day that he decided to ask.
Post # 3
we dated for 8 years before the proposal!
he and I spoke of our future together including a wedding but we never had a hard timeline. I didn’t know he had gone ring shopping. And I certainly didn’t know he bought one and brought it with us on a trip to BC, Canada. So when he proposed I was genuinely surprised. Mostly that it happened right then, not that it happened at all.
Post # 4
We looked at rings together so I knew a proposal was coming soon and he had said before the end of the (this) year. But the day he actually did propose was a complete surprise. I had no idea he had bought a ring as I was expecting a proposal closer to the end of the year (actually, I thought for some reason he was either going to propose in October, or Christmas).
Post # 5
I was completely surprised. We have been together for almost eleven years. We had never discussed if/when we wanted to get married. I mean, for more than half of our relationship, it wasn’t a legal option anyway. I just wasn’t thinking about it.
We talked about our future and moved forward together, but I assumed marriage wouldn’t be part of it, and was comfortable with that. So I didn’t push. Forever was going to be forever, with or without a wedding.
So no, I really had no clue. But I said yes right away.
Post # 6
Totally surprised. We were living togther and I was quite comfortable with the arrangement. I hadn’t thought about marriage, we were in a great place–he got along with my boys and they love him. I really thought life was complete, but he said his father’s death made him re-evaluate what was important in life. We married on New Year’s Eve.
Post # 7
We discussed marriage and futures together, we lived together, families had met each other. DH is 3 years older than me, but we were working on my timeline as DH tends to live in the moment.
I gave him a deadline when I moved in, that he had a year to propose.
Apparently he built up the courage to ask my dad for permission over 6 months.
Then on my birthday he asked me to marry him. The following weekend we told family and friends, after going ring shopping so I could choose my ring.
The date of his proposal was a complete surprise, I’d only said the weekend before that i was sure it wasn’t going to be on my birthday! I also wasn’t aware that he had asked my dad for permission until afterwards, when we told my parents and my dad responded ‘oh yes, I knew there was something I should of mentioned’…
Post # 8
We had been together for 8 years when he proposed and we had talked about it in the “future-tense” but I had NO clue what-so-ever he was going to ask. It was a complete surprise.
When he gave me the ring he didn’t really ask just watched me for a few seconds. I just figure it was earrings or something in the box (He asked the day after my birthday).
When I opened the box I asked him “Do you know what this is? Do you know what this means?” LIKE DOH, no he didn’t
So ya, I was kind of blindsided
Post # 9
My Fiance and I had been dating for eight years and talked about marriage often and I was still shocked. Literally the week before he proposed, I was telling my friends we probably wouldn’t get engaged for another two to three years. We talked about what I wanted in a ring in November and then he stopped talking about it. I thought it meant we were delaying marriage a little longer but it actually meant he had bought the ring. He proposed seven months later.
Post # 10
We’d been together for 6 years and I knew we would get married someday. I guess I figured in the next year or two? But I hadn’t been ‘waiting’ or hanging out for a proposal or anything. So, we were on the same page but it wasn’t on my mind. So when he did propose there was no doubt in my mind that I’d say yes, and it wasn’t random or anything, but I was COMPLETELY surprised. I had no idea what was going on until he was literally down on his knee!
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE
I haven’t had a proposal yet, but I know SO is going to surprise me! We’ve talked extensively about our future and we picked a ring together that he’s going to order sometime soon and then he can do a traditional surprise proposal like he wants 🙂 We’ve been together for 4 years, and I’m expecting a proposal within the next 3 months (He’s said before the end of the year, but we are going on vacation in the 2nd week of January, so I’m absolutely fine extending my expectations that far ;D)
Post # 12
This will seem fast for some of you ladies who are 5+ years in!
My Fiance has, from the very first date, been very open about what he wants in his life – which is to say, a marriage and a family. which tbh scared the crap out of me on our first date but that’s another story!
We moved in together about 6 months in, knowing we were moving in the direction of being married. So when he asked me to go ring shopping a little while before our one year anniversary, I wasn’t surprised. in the end he picked out a ring by himself, based on what we had discussed and shopped for. and he planned the proposal himself (sunrise on my favorite beach back home). It was lovely and perfect and everything I ever wanted, and not a surprise.
Post # 13
we are exactly the same! We dated for about 7 years before the proposal, and agreed way before the proposal that we were getting married. We just wanted to wait for the right time. We picked a ring together, and he completely surprised me with the actual proposal (apparently my first words were “Is this for real?” haha).
Post # 14
We spoke about getting married prior once during a trip and I droppped hints of what ring I wanted. I wan’t sure if he got it clear or not. But it was never an on going, regular discussion. He proposed to me with the ring I had in mind the following year. I was quite surprised.
Post # 15
wed been together for 10 years and discussed marriage pretty in depth. He planned a surprise 10th anniversary trip for us, and proposed on the trip. The trip itself was a total 100% surprise, but I guessed/assumed there would be a proposal on the trip. I thought he would propose with no ring and we’d design it together after, but he had already designed one and brought it with him! So that was also a surprise.