(Closed) [Poll] Proposal: Were you clueless, surprised or involved?

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Proposal: Were you completely clueless, pleasantly surprised or in the loop?

    I literally just met the person a month before he/she proposed and I was all WTF!?!

    I thought we were just dating. Then SO was on one knee, IDK what happened.

    Neither of us discussed marriage. SO blind-sighted me completely by proposing.

    SO did not believe in marriage, therefore I did not expect a proposal.

    We discussed our future, what we both want. One day SO surprised me!

    We discussed our future and timing. I generally expected a proposal.

    We discuss and share big decisions. SO and I agreed to marry before he proposed w/ a ring.

    We discuss and share big decisions. We chose a ring together or agreed no ring.

    We discuss and share big decisions. SO didn't exactly propose; we simply agreed to marry.

  • Post # 16
    222 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - City, State

    We moved fast. By four months we were living together. We’re really a great match for each other, so we had discussed marriage pretty early. We looked for rings together, and Fiance ultimately ended up picking one out (while i was there). He proposed on vacation and even though I knew it was coming, I still cried! 🙂

    Post # 17
    3053 posts
    Sugar bee

    We had discussed marriage and a rough time line of when we wanted marriage and babies. I was still totally surprised when he proposed though! It was the last thing on my mind that day, so it was nice that I was actually surprised because I honestly didn’t think I would be when he proposed.

    Post # 18
    44 posts
    • Wedding: October 2016

    About 6 months into our relationship my husband randomly said that he wanted me to know that he was serious about marrying me one day.  I was suprised because I know he had been in a previous 4 year relationship where he said it never even crossed his mind.  He apparently contacted my best friend who gave him access to pinterest ring board and she sneakingly helped him find out my ring size and pick out a ring.  He talked to my parents about a month before he asked and totally surprised me 4 days before our one year anniversary.  I knew we would get married, but I thought he would be proposing this year or about two years in. I didn’t think it would be as soon as it was.  But he picked out the perfect ring and I could not be happier than I am with him now!

    Post # 19
    6331 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We had discussed the idea of our getting married, and we’d looked at e-rings together. He picked the ring and planned the whole proposal himself though.

    Post # 20
    12 posts
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I answered that we share and discuss big decisions, and agreed to marry before he proposed with a ring. We’d dated long distance for about 6 1/2 years before we were finally in a position to get married, but we knew that we wanted to marry each other 6 months into our relationship.

    Things were finally starting to come together at the beginning of last year, and I got to visit him for a whole week. Spending that time together in person really made me impatient for a proposal, but I knew we still had some obstacles to get through, like me graduating college and finishing my final internship. I talked to him about my feelings and he was really understanding, promising that the proposal would come “soon”.

    I had no idea, but he’d just gotten the ring in the mail, and he totally surprised me by getting down on one knee the very next day. Everything was a whirlwind after that. 🙂

    Post # 21
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2018 - The Garrison, NY

    I have to say, we moved rather quickly in our relationship.  Moved in after just 8 months.  At 10 months we started to mention marriage.  Right after our 1st anniversary it became a very real topic and one day he took me to look at rings.  I pointed out a few that I thought were pretty, but one setting in particular stuck out to me.  I told him about it.  He knew what size diamond I was hoping for, if it fit into the budget (he wouldn’t tell me the amount, so I didn’t know).  He told me on a Friday, with a big grin on his face, that he ordered it and it’s going to take 8 weeks. He said, but be patient because I wante it to be a surprise, I can’t just do it right after I get it!


    13 days later, he proposed with the most gorgeous ring ever.  🙂

    Post # 22
    4615 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    View original reply
    flipside :  We were together 7.5 years and had discussed getting married.  I helped him figure out what kind of ring I wanted and knew he had it, but was still surprised the day of.  I chose “We discussed our future and timing. I generally expected a proposal” but was happy that he still managed to surprise me 🙂

    Post # 23
    4509 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Such a specific poll, a few options were relevant to me.  My Fiance and discussed our future together, agreed we both wanted marriage and I had a pretty clear idea as to when he would propose.  We chose the ring together beforehand and I knew when it had been purchased.  FI was just waiting on the right time to propose.

    Post # 24
    536 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I say I had no idea he was going to propose. We’d been together 5 years, and just bought a house, so we knew we we’re planning to be together forever, and that we both wanted to get married, and had been having presumptuous conversations starting ‘when we get married…..’ but the proposal itself was a complete surprise, I had no idea he’d bought a ring, and was not expecting it that soon at all, maybe at least a few months down the line. 

    Post # 25
    1829 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I talked about this being it for a while. I picked out the ring because he knows how picky I am. 

    I know when he will be asking because I don’t do surprises well and kept drilling people till I found out. 

    Post # 26
    1282 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    View original reply
    flipside :  I read your original post and I’m guessing you’re not British! Here in the UK a proposal is almost ALWAYS a complete surprise. We sometimes speculate about whether a man is going to propose if a couple are off on holiday somewhere nice but that’s all. For us it’s not a moment of jewellery presentation, it’s genuinely a question about whether that person wants to marry us and it comes with all the nerves of not knowing if they will say yes or not. Sometimes we choose a ring after the big exciting moment as I did. That doesn’t mean we spring a surprise on a total stranger (or not very often!); we usually just go with common sense as to whether that person is likely to say yes or not based on how serious the relationship is.

    Most British bees are quite surprised, as I was, to read on the bee that American couples seem to ring shop together and have already decided to get married long before the ‘ring presentation’. There’s no wrong or right. But different parts of the world have different customs.

    Post # 27
    840 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    flipside :  My husband and I had talked about getting married, when “the time was right”. I had almost given up hope on that ever happening, but I had made my peace with it. I was totally poleaxed when he proposed and then we went ring shopping afterwards. But we had talked about it before this happened, so the timing was a surprise, rather than the proposal itself, if you know what I mean.

    Post # 28
    6311 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    None of those polls really fit me.

    DH and I had been together well over 10 years (HS sweethearts) and owned a home together. Most people would think that that proposal wouldn’t have been a surprise but I was totally surprised! Obviously I knew that one day we’d get married as we’d talked about it and owned a home together….but he did it out of the blue on a random day – I was shocked!

    Post # 29
    2915 posts
    Sugar bee

    My Fiance and I have always talked in detail about what we want, timelines, goals, etc. We were 22 and 26 when we started dating and we both were ready to settle down. (I’m only 24 now but I feel like a grandma haha). We knew that we would end up getting married and we were made to be together. It wasn’t until we were together for a year and a half that we started looking at rings and then he proposed almost a year from that. I knew it would happen on vacation and we both kind of agreed on the location and that he wouldn’t kneel (we were at Downtown Disney in Cali and I didn’t want to draw attention!) So I basically knew everything, but I was okay with that. I do find it weird when women have NO idea. Typically, that’s not a good sign that they communicate well. But to each’s own.  

    Post # 30
    2922 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

    We discussed marriage and set a rough timeline, then we looked at rings together and DH made the final choice. I knew it was coming but the exact when/where and final ring choice were up to him. 

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