Poll: question for married couples about bank accounts

posted 4 weeks ago in Married Life
  • poll: How does it work for you?

    We only have separate accounts

    We only have joint accounts

    We have separate accounts with a joint account

    Something else - I’ll explain!

  • Post # 47
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee

    Not married yet but have done pre marital counseling and our own discussion entirely. We agreed to share all accounts. Including the business accounts . We will have only 1 separate account that will be auto filled with a certain percentage of the income. We can do whatever with that account. Only need to consult on large purchase excess of 2k

    Post # 48
    Member
    462 posts
    Helper bee

    We currently do not share accounts. I honestly think its best for my mental health. But we have the same beliefs in spending and saving.

    Right now I really don’t pay any bills. Husband pays all of them. I buy groceries from time to time too.

    The reason it has been that way was because when we first started dating I sold my house and moved in. Didn’t pay any bills. We agreed I would pay off my school loan debt while he paid bills. I paid off ~24k in 1.5 years. Well when that was done we reassessed so now I still pay no bills, but I put almost my whole entire check towards our mortgage. I have been saving too. He pays extra when he can too. We do this weirdly because we just want to pay our mortgage off asap. 

    It works for us. I know it is strange but we have paid off 100k in debt (mortgage and school) in 3 years so we keep trucking along. We have talked about getting a joint savings but it just isn’t priority for either of us. Both of us are frugal and hate spending money so I am not worried about him wasting money and he can obviously tell I am not when I make a massive payment each  month that is almost my whole check lol.

    It isn’t a his money or mine. He has my cards and vice versa. It all comes out in the wash to us so we don’t care.

    Post # 49
    Member
    696 posts
    Busy bee

    Married about a year, still separate accounts though we’d like to do a joint account eventually. We make similar incomes now and have similar expenses, but I have a significant income inrease coming in a few months.

    We are open about everything and plan together. I chafe at the idea of having to ask permission about spending, and hubs wouldnt like it either – but we do budget together. I think our personalities are not well suited to fully combining. We do discuss major purchases, home renovations, debts, retirement, etc. It just works better (for now) to have our own money in our own accounts and then plan together. We have a solid long term financial plan in hopes of retiring early, paying off the house early, etc.

    I bought the home we lived in before our marriage so I am a little protective of that. We plan to buy “our” home together in a few years. I also budget better and am able to do more for our family by having full control of that money. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

    We have just about joint everything. Joint checking and savings. I have a credit card in my name only for plane miles that I got before we were married. My husband doesn’t have anything just in his name. 

    My husband always has and probably always will make significantly more than me so instead of figuring out percentages or fractions of bills that need to be paid, we just have everything joint. I really like the set up because we can go in our banking app and see exactly how much money we have (apart from some investments we have/whole life insurance policies). 

    Both me and my husband are savers and don’t quibble about money. I make little purchases here and there and my husband will spend like $200-300 on more quality items a few times a year. I would only suggest our set up if you are 100% open about money and can treat yourself without your spouse getting mad. I think separate works best for those who like to spend whatever they want without their spouse getting upset (especially if one person is a slender and one is a saver). 

    Post # 51
    Hostess
    4152 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    View original reply
    @jq2020:  I chose “joint and separate accounts” but it’s honestly only because I’ve been too lazy to close the personal accounts I had prior to marriage.  We have our full paychecks deposited into our joint account and pay everything from there.  I have separate retirement accounts, but they’re not accounts we’ll be using for quite some time. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    1000 posts
    Bumble bee

    We have mostly separate accounts and one personal joint account for household/shared expenses. We were both in our 40s when we got married, with children from our previous marriages. I receive child support from my ex – I feel strongly that that money should go for the benefit of my kids. It’s easier and cleaner to keep finances separate. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    We have seperate and joint accounts. Both of our salaries go to our joint account where we pay for bills, food, etc. almost everything. We also have a savings account together. We then give each other a monthly allowance that goes to our seperate account and we can do whatever we want with our allowance without having to necessarily consult with each other. 

    Allowances sound childish…at least I thought so when my husband suggested the idea but it works for us. I like sharing accounts because it makes me feel like OUR money is OURS. In my first marriage we kept everything seperated and it felt….off and wrong to me. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    1197 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    We have a joint savings account where we each put a portion of our paychecks to save for a house and other long-term investments, and we have a joint credit card we put shared expenses on like groceries and gas and utilities, entertainment (when we used to be able to go to dinner and a movie…) and then we each have our own account we use for things for ourselves like online shopping for clothes (me) or video games (him). 

    Post # 55
    Member
    9468 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    we started with separate accounts. 

    then when we got married, opened a joint account that we each contributed a %age to.

    when we needed to go through infertility, we wiped out our savings accounts and only had one joint account.

    when i changed banks that my pre-marriage investments accounts were in, it was easier to change my checking/savings account as well to the new bank.  now we still have our joint account, but i also have an additional savings account.  my husband does not have any additional accounts.

    Post # 56
    Member
    7270 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We have primarily seperate accounts, with a joint savings that we got after marriage. He has his credit cards, I have mine, and I have one that is a “joint” (aka: extra card from his account for me).

    He’s the breadwinner, and makes quite a bit more so his salary covers or major bills. The money from my small business covers all my business expenses…as well as my car payment/insurance, cell phone, spending money, etc. Since he covers the major bills I pay the internet/tv as well as do all the grocery shopping and keeping up with the house. This has worked for us for the past 20 years, and it’s been like that so long I think I would have a hard time joining accounts. 

    That being said, with his demanding job and our toddler I’ve very much considered slowing my business down and taking a super limited number of clients. If that happens and we have another child we will likely have to discuss joint accounts and how that will all happen. 

     

    Post # 57
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    We have our own accounts, because we’ve never been un-lazy enough to merge them. And we have different banks and neither of us wants to give up our bank. We manage our budget by considering all money as jointly owned, and we have to transfer cash back and forth sometimes if one of us puts a big expense on their credit card.

    Post # 58
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    I’ve always been curious about this as well. I’m in the process of opening a joint account but was debating whether or not to close my separate account. I would personally rather have all joint accounts but a lot of ladies seem to have a personal one which makes sense to me.

    Post # 59
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee

    We have talked about joining accounts but havent done it. We have been together 9 years and married for one tomorrow ( june 23rd) and we have lived together practically the whole time. We never have problems with money. When I say that I mean money isn’t something we argue about.. So, I know what he makes, he knows what I make and we fell into a routine of who pays what and we are both comfortable with it.  It works for us.  Now, there was a time last year when he was out of work for 4 months because of surgery and I did work more and pay more to compensate, however with the corona, I’m out of work and he pays more now to compensate.  We laughed that rolls have now switched. Still no issue with money. We have eachothers back financially if we need it. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    3922 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    @jq2020:  Our direct deposits come into our personal accounts. From there, we each owe a certain amount per pay period into the joint account. The joint account pays the mortgage and the utilities, car payments, phone bill, groceries, and my student loan. We also each owe a certain amount into the joint savings. How much we owe is in relation to how much we earn. DH makes 3x more than I do, so he contributes more than I do. From our personal accounts we pay for gas (although lol to that I’ve been working from home since Feb and will be at home for the rest of the year. I haven’t filled up my gas tank since March), lunch, credit card payments, and whatever else our “allowance” allows. 

     

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