POLL: Should I tell my sister's boss he's working her too hard?

posted 2 weeks ago in Career
  • poll: Should I tell my sister's boss he's working her too hard?
    Yes, casually mention it : (3 votes)
    3 %
    No, she's a grown ass adult : (103 votes)
    95 %
    Other - explain : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    14777 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I thought, No, she’s a grown ass adult, before I even read the post.

    Read the post… still vote No, she’s a grown ass adult.  In no senario can I think of where it’d be apprropriate for you to have to speak up for another grown fully capable adult.  She needs to learn to speak up for herself.

    Post # 3
    Member
    3270 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    She needs to talk to them and either demand less work or more money.

    Post # 5
    Member
    14777 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    sbl99 :  Still the same answer… 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5828 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    The thing is, she needs to learn to do these things for herself. It is her you should be coaching, not them. So let’s say you butt in here; what about when she gets a different job? You cannot go in for her reviews and demand a raise for her. You cannot negotiate on her behalf. Nor would you really be doing much good if you could. She has to not only take care of herself (for the sake of herself and her kids), but she needs to set a good example for them about not being a doormat. She needs to learn to negotiate for herself, as it is a lifelong skill that she needs to have. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    5766 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Absolutely not. If you want to help her then coach her in how to advocate for herself. She’s not a child. Don’t treat her like one. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2826 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to go to bat for my fiance at his last job when he was being overworked and treated poorly, but I didn’t because he’s a grown ass adult and needs to advocate for himself. An adult who other adults step in and speak up for will never be respected in their workplace. You’d be doing her a major disservice. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2947 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    No. Period. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    5427 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I agree with everyone else that you cannot say anything to your sister’s boss on her behalf. Your sister needs to grow up and learn to fight her own battles- I’m sure work is not the only arena she ends up being taken advantage of, if she’s regularly playing the role of “damsel in distress.”

    You can, however, ABSOLUTELY encourage your sister to find another job so that she, too, can tell them to “get fucked”. If she’s managing to do 5 days of work in 3 days, she would be a great asset somewhere else. And if she is at the point of hyperventilating at work, she should not need to be told that that is a sign that she needs to be looking for another position elsewhere. There are a lot of companies that are open to remote/telecommute work now- she might be able to find something where she could work from home and be more available for her daughter.

    The one thing I might do, is casually ask former boss how things have been going since I left and if my replacement is fitting in well and if/when he says “Oh we didn’t hire anyone to replace you.” then make the (accurate) comment about how messed up it is to spread a full time person’s job across a team and that I hope they, at the very least, are paying people well with the money they are saving from my salary. But do not say anything to anyone over there about your sister except your sister herself.

    If your sister doesn’t want to get walked all over, she needs to get in the habit of first attempting to remove feet from her own neck. Because what she needs is respect and to know that she can solve her own problems and she isn’t going to get that if her sister comes in fighting for her. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    712 posts
    Busy bee

    sbl99 :  I have a sister, I totally get where you’re coming from – but she has to do this on her own. You don’t work there anymore, it’s no different than a grown adult’s ‘mommy’ going in and complaining to the boss. If she is physically and mentally making herself sick, maybe she needs that to happen to realize it’s time to take a stand. If you, your parents and her partner can’t get through to her…..she’ll have to suffer until it’s time.

    Also – if she only gets paid for 3 days work, why is she showing up for 5 days? Pay me for 3, I show up for 3. Want me there for 5 – pay me for 5!

    EDITED to say: wait, is she working 5 days, or just cramming 5 days of work into 3? 

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