- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
I will try to keep this short, but DH’s family is just a lot of drama and I’m just at a loss what to suggest to the bride and groom anymore.
DH’s younger brother is getting married next summer, he and his Fiance (who I am friends with) have been asking us for advice on what to do for their bridal party regarding siblings. Younger Brother-In-Law (the groom) is very close to DH, but not close at all with the older Brother-In-Law. The bride asked SIL’s 4 year old daughter to be a flower girl and now she feels obligated to ask SIL and myself to be in the wedding. I told her she didn’t need to feel obligated to ask either of us because I know she wants a small bridal party. I also told her regardless if DH and I are in the bridal party, we still support them 100% and will help them out with anything they need. SIL on the other hand is already incredibly offended that her daughter was asked to be in the bridal party and she wasn’t.
Younger Brother-In-Law wanted DH to be a groomsmen, but doesn’t want his oldest brother to feel left out (even though they aren’t close at all). So at this point he’s thinking of just asking his high school buddies to be groomsmen and not ask either brother to be involved. I know DH might feel a little disappointed since he and his younger brother are so close, but DH also understands it’s his brothers decision and that the bride and groom are just trying to avoid drama.
I tried to suggest to both the bride and groom to wait to ask ANYONE to be in the bridal party until at least the fall or winter since the wedding is so far away and relationships change, people get pregnant, people move, etc. but they insist that they need to ask people within the next week. I know regardless of who they choose there will be some amount of drama/hurt feelings, but I just don’t know what to tell them anymore when they ask for advice on what to do.
So what do you guys think is the best choice? Is it better to only ask siblings to be involved who the bride and groom are close to and not the others, ask them all to be involved, or ask none of them?
I will add that for DH’s and my vow renewal ceremony, we each had one sibling and one friend stand up with us for the ceremony. DH’s older brother and sister were offended to not be asked, but neither of us were close to them so we didn’t feel obligated to ask them to stand up with us. Life went on and the sibling in laws found something else to be offended at shortly after. We weren’t concerned with hurt feelings, we just wanted who we were closest to.