Poll: What would you gift if a couple only had a honeyfund.

posted 1 year ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What gift would you give if the couple only had a honeyfund?

    I would contribute to the honeyfund. No issues with it whatsoever.

    I would give them either cash/check. I am not paying service fees!

    I would give them a physical gift of my choosing- you shouldnt be asking for cash!

    I would give them a gift card (happy medium, right?)

    I would give them nothing.

  • Post # 76
    Member
    5909 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

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    @ mrswiggles34   Do you find a physical item registry as rude and would give nothing in that situation as well?

    Post # 77
    Member
    7591 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Some real scrooges in this thread! 

    Also, I’m still loling at “Tropical Island Sex Romp.”

    Post # 78
    Member
    5909 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

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    @ tiffanybruiser   I know, right?!

     

    Contributing to a lovely Egyptian 1000 thread count sex romp is okay though. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee

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    @ tiffanybruiser  

    Right? My personal favorite was the claim that only “impoverished” people are entitled to wedding gifts. lol.

    I think that in 10-15 years, once honeymoon funds become this norm, this whole thing will be a non-issue. At one time, people hated first looks, blush wedding dresses, substitutes for wedding cake, etc. Times change, and people (slowly) change, too. 🙂

    Post # 80
    Member
    7591 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

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    @ windycitywedding2019   Agreed, that impoverished comment was a low point in this thread lol. I have yet to see a logical argument in this thread or any other for why honeymoon funds are offensive but gift registries aren’t, but alas. 

    Post # 81
    Member
    1515 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I don’t understand the spite. Are these my friends/family members getting married?

    If I cared so little about my friends/family members who are getting married, I would decline their invitation, and then I don’t have to send any gift, monetary or object.  

    If I cared about them enough to trek to a wedding, then I wanna give them what they want. 

    Post # 82
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee

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    @ zzar45   A registry, no. You are giving me guide lines for what you need or want. I’m happy to follow that because most likely I don’t know what physical thing you need. 

    However, i know cash is a good gift. You don’t need to tell me to give you money. I also dont want part of my gift to you to be taken by fees. 

     

    Want money, don’t register. 

    Post # 83
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee

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    @ mrswiggles34   But they aren’t giving “guidelines” – they’re telling you exactly what to buy, down to the brand and price (and even from which store). A guideline would be “buy me a toaster,” not “buy me this very specific toaster from Amazon.”

    Telling someone to go to a specific store and to buy a specific item for $50 is the same thing as telling the person to give you $50 so that you can buy the specific item.

    And I still don’t understand why people have an issue with subtracting the fees from the amount they would give. Isn’t that the couple’s problem/choice? I’m failing to see how that impacts the guest at all. People pay fees all the time (shipping for online items, delivery fees for ordering a pizza, etc.). Why does it matter if you are paying 98 (gift) + 2 (fees) or 100 (gift)? In both cases, you are paying $100.

    Post # 84
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

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    @ windycitywedding2019   I knew a couple who did a honeyfund and didn’t even go on a honeymoon.  That is why most people are out off by honeymoon registries.  I have also known people who have registered for gifts (wedding and baby shouwers) who have literally returned every single item for cash.  Some people are just crap nowadays and moeny grubbing so i don’t like any sort of registry.  When I gift, I always buy off registry, get a very nice gift and don’t include a reciept.  

     

    Post # 85
    Member
    1006 posts
    Bumble bee

    I just write them a check so they reap the full benefit of my gift.

    Post # 86
    Member
    3824 posts
    Honey bee

    Are people actually as offended by receiving a cash gift at their wedding as this thread would make it seem?

    Post # 87
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee

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    @ justanormalgal   I think it’s totally fair to be against registries in general! I’m sure you’re right (that there are people who lie about the honeymoon fund and there are people who return all of their gift items for cash). 

    I mostly just have an issue with people pretending like there is a meaningful difference between a traditional registry and a honeymoon registry. There isn’t. Either you have a problem with people picking out their own gifts, or you think we should do away with registries and guests should buy what they want.

    Post # 88
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

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    @ windycitywedding2019   A honeymoon registry is a cash registry dressed up.  Asking for cash in any way, shape or form is rude.  

    Post # 89
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee

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    @ justanormalgal   A gift registry is just as much a cash registry dressed up as a honeymoon registry. But the point has already been belabored/explained many times in this thread, so at this point, people are either going to get it or they aren’t, I suppose.

    Post # 90
    Member
    7591 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Why on earth wouldn’t you provide a gift receipt? Isnt the whole point of gift giving to give something the recipient would like? What if they received the same thing you got from someone else? What if they decided they just didn’t want the thing you got them? Please help me understand this mentality.  

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    @justanormalgal   

    eta: camenae articulated my thoughts perfectly: “ If I cared about them enough to trek to a wedding, then I wanna give them what they want.”

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