Poll: What would you gift if a couple only had a honeyfund.

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What gift would you give if the couple only had a honeyfund?

    I would contribute to the honeyfund. No issues with it whatsoever.

    I would give them either cash/check. I am not paying service fees!

    I would give them a physical gift of my choosing- you shouldnt be asking for cash!

    I would give them a gift card (happy medium, right?)

    I would give them nothing.

  • Post # 91
    Member
    2879 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m not down for honeyfunds because it seems wasteful to pay a middleman company. Just be upfront and say you don’t need gifts, because you have all you need, and people will give cash. There’s no need to be cutesy about it with a honeyfund that’s taking a percentage. 

    Post # 92
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee

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    zzar45 :  
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    tiffanybruiser :  for the record I’ve never purchased a pair of sheets for a wedding ever. I’ve purchased a blender, a stroller, a pinteresty looking jar chandelier, & I’ve knitted a cozy baby blanket (the blanket they had on the registry was out of stock everywhere but i really wanted to give them something similar, so i knitted a better one).

    If they can find a way to you any of those items in a sex romp, hey, have at it. But im not going to give you money to do something luxurious & extravagant when there for sure are people that have to like, go to Des Moines & stay in a 3 star hotel for their honeymoon. Seems entitled to beg for cash to go to something like that. Save your own money & go on the honeymoon you can afford. Scale down your venue. Get a cheap dress, invite fewer people. Those are choices you can make.

    Now if they were like “Contribute to our Collegefund!” & some how it was guaranteed that the money went directly towards their schooling, or they had a kid & the money would be given to him/her instead as part of their college savings, i would *absolutely* give cash to that.

    Post # 93
    Member
    7422 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

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    beepboopbop :  “I’ve purchased a blender, a stroller, a pinteresty looking jar chandelier, … But im not going to give you money to do something luxurious & extravagant when there for sure are people that have to like, go to Des Moines & stay in a 3 star hotel for their honeymoon.”

    Again, I don’t understand the logic. There are people that can’t afford strollers at all, and certainly not a brand new one. There are people that cant afford a blender. So you only give gifts to people if you feel confident they could have responsibly afforded to purchase that item for themselves? I wonder how you go about making that distinction anyway…do you ask to see the recipients’ bank statements before deciding what to purchase for them? You’d never get someone something a little nice, a little luxurious perhaps, just because it would make them happy? Am I missing something here?

    Post # 94
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

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    tiffanybruiser :  I know!! Fingers crossed eh 😉 xx

    Post # 95
    Member
    5244 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    You do you but your logic makes no sense. No one needs a fancy blender any more than a honeymoon. And who is to say the honeymoon is to some 5* luxury resort?

    No one registers for the most basics items, there is constantly talk of upgrading homeware when creating a wedding registry so I just don’t see why an upgraded fancy blender is more valid than a meal on vacation?  “Save your own money for honeymoon” but not a stroller or a blender or an F’ing chandelier?! It’s okay for someone else to buy you those, apparently. 

    And I also don’t understand how you justify it as some people can’t afford honeymoons therefore I won’t gift something to use towards yours? It is nonsensical. Usually the couple can absolutely afford their honeymoon, in fact they have obviously already booked it in the majority of cases. I have only ever seen honeymoon registries for nice little extras. You aren’t obligated to fund their vacation if you don’t want to, the couple are just saying if you wanted to give us anything why not a massage, or a nice dinner or a day trip on vacation. They aren’t forcing guests. 

    But im not going to give you money to do something luxurious & extravagant when there for sure are people that have to like, go to Des Moines & stay in a 3 star hotel for their honeymoon.”

    You refuse to gift anything luxurious? So how does that work, do you sit and think about the most basic every day item you could possibly give some?  By that logic you couldn’t ever even pay for a meal for a friend because ‘there are kids starving in Africa’ so you don’t need a luxurious meal! 

    I think it says a lot more about a person who would purposely give a gift to someone that they haven’t asked for just to spite them when this person has chosen to share their wedding day with you. 

    But then again I’m not an ass so maybe that’s why I don’t get it. 

     

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    beepboopbop :  

    Post # 96
    Member
    7422 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

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    zzar45 :  I think it says a lot more about a person who would purposely give a gift to someone that they haven’t asked for just to spite them when this person has chosen to share their wedding day with you. 

    Right? Also I’d just like to point out that the only people who would ever be registering for a stroller in the first place have DEFINITELY had a sex romp at one point or another, so I hope the stroller giver understands what they’re implicitly condoning with such a gift!

    Post # 97
    Member
    5244 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    It would be one thing if they found something they genuinely thought the couple would love and wanted to get them a surprise but no, these people purposely choose something they actually know the couple doesn’t want just to stick it to them. Why even attend the wedding if you don’t care about them?

    With friends like some of you who needs enemies!

    And the horror of a newly wed having sex on vacation!

    I WONT FUND YOUR SEX ROMP. Sounds like a foaming at the mouth daily mail headline:  

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    tiffanybruiser :  

    Post # 98
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee

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    zzar45 :  Funny, because I didn’t put it in caps or anything.  It’s more like you’re the one foaming at the mouth. You can’t seem to let it go for whatever weird reason. Get over it, bully.

    & just to be clear, every single item i mentioned was on the various couples’ registries, minus the baby blanket. They asked for a blanket, the store was out, i knitted a similar one. It was nice. I NEVER SAID i would gift off the registry, what the hell? They asked for the items, so that entire point is null, & you ARE an ass, since we’re name calling

     

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    tiffanybruiser :  i understand your confusion but hey, it’s how I feel. Why is your thought process to be fine with giving cash any more valid than the people here that don’t want to give cash & think it’s rude to ask? I don’t understand the mob mentality on this. 

     

    Post # 99
    Member
    5244 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I didn’t say you did, I wasn’t  even replying to you. It’s ironic that you jumped on my comment in the first place to invalidate my view and now you’re calling me a bully? That doesn’t even make sense, I never said anything to you until you started directing your comments to me. 

    You replied to me originally and you’re butting in now even though you weren’t the bee to talk about the sex romp so I’m obviously not evening talking about you, don’t get your knickers in a twist. 

     

    beepboopbop :  

    Post # 100
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee

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    zzar45 :  are you thick?? I was , indeed, the exact person that said “i not going to fund your Tropical Island Sex Romp” so what the hell?

     

    Just because you talk shit about other posters without tagging them, if they see it & address you accordingly doesn’t mean we’re “butting in”. What the hell are you on about rn? Maybe pay attention more to who you think you’re bullying??

    Post # 101
    Member
    5244 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    Well then…

    I stand by my point, you aren’t a good friend if you purposely  chose not to give them what you know they want as a gift (a dinner or bottle of champagne to upgrade their honeymoon for example) and you chose to get them something ‘non luxurious’ just to spite them. I just don’t understand that logic or attitude between friends. 

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    beepboopbop :  

    Post # 102
    Member
    7422 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

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    beepboopbop :  I think that opinions that are backed by logic are more valid than those that are only backed by emotion, like yours. It is completely illogical to say you won’t contribute to someone’s honeymoon because “some people on earth can only afford to stay in a 3 star hotel in Des Moines,” but then to say you’re happy to buy someone a new blender or a chandelier, which, like a honeymoon, are also not necessities, and are also things that many people could not afford for themselves. I’m glad you acknowledge that this is confusing, though.

    For the record, I don’t care if someone prefers to give an item rather than cash – that’s fine – what bothers me is the mindset that a couple who has a honeyfund is somehow gift grabbier than one that has a regular registry. It just doesn’t make any sense, for reasons that have been beaten to death in this thread and have yet to be refuted by anything approaching logic.

    Post # 103
    Member
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

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    Starfish55 :  People should never ask for cash, in any which way for their wedding.  Full stop.  I’m tired of seeing people try to justify it.

    We wanted cash (who doesn’t?) however we did not imply it anywhere.  We got 95% cash and 5% physical presents. 

     

    For this scenario, well I typically give cash because it’s easy (especially when travelling) but sometimes if I’ve had something come up and don’t have much disposable cash, I don’t want to stick $50-$100 in a card from Dh and I.  I would rather scour the shops and find something thoughtful at the shops worth $150-$200 on sale, and wrap it up nicely.  Asking for cash implies that physical presents will not be appreciated and I hate that. 

    Post # 104
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    Well this got weird. I typically give couples what they want because they were nice enough to share their wedding day with me and it really shouldn’t be this huge moral debate. I think some of you guys are massively overthinking this.

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