Post # 16
MissMul : Darling Husband and I never really delved in to why he felt so strongly about it, but I’d be willing to put money on it that his mother was at the bottom of it. She can be very judgy–especially about being “traditional” (all of which are american traditions that date back to the ~50’s in the USA.) He is also very close to her, and very scared of displeasing her. A+B = diamond for me. lol.
Post # 17
MissMul : Thanks! What we did was I gave FH links to 5 or 6 rings that I liked (all different), and he picked one. That way I knew that it was something that I would want to wear every day, but he still got to feel like he picked it out.
Post # 18
The question should almost be “why do we still get diamond/moissanite/cz/clear stone engagement rings,” since the simulant/alternative “diamond-like” stones market also props up the position of diamonds as the traditional engagement stone. The alternative to a diamond that breaks free of De Beers marketing is not clear moissanite, it’s a colored stone or no stone/ring at all.
Post # 19
professorplum : WELL SAID!! If I think about it in that way, I suppose I really just moved to reinforce the ‘tradition’ of a clear/colorless ring when I went for moissy. Great point! Why do you think we still lean towards get the clear stoned rings?
Post # 20
I think we get them because that’s just what everyone else does – it’s tradition and successful marketing. I do think they’re pretty, but I’m sure if emeralds or sapphires or plane bands were the norm in my country, I’d probably have one of those on my finger now instead.
Post # 21
Aside from tradition and marketing, I think clear stones are preferred largely because they’re neutral and “go with everything.” I think diamonds are preferred from a practical standpoint because they’re the hardest stone, so they stand up to daily wear. Of course, black stones like onyx or black diamond are arguably just as neutral and easy to pair with anything, and sapphires are another hard stone used for engagement rings.
Post # 22
I think the best question to ask is why do we even have engagement rings at all still? Despite not seeing the use/value of them at all, I still have one. Why? Really because it the norm and I never stopped to question it until after I was married. Although I do love my ring but I honestly can’t provide a good justification for having it other then tradition (and a tradition that I don’t even support or want to validate )
Don’t have much time to respond as I’m at work, but a few thoughts on why diamonds are still so popular:
– social norms/tradition of the engagement ring being a physical representation of how “good” the marriage is for the woman. While historically that was a way of woman proving their virtuousness and upbringing, now a days there is still an element of “look what we can afford” with engagement rings. It’s one way of showing to the world “we’re successful”.
– While diamond prices are (especially now) artifically high given their world supply, historically they were considered the “premium” precious gem because they are very costly in their production (especially pre-technology era). Moissy/CZs are still breaking out of the cliche that they are an attempt to “pass” as a diamond. I.e. get the expensive look without the $$$ (so same mentality of luxury product rip-offs being scorned)
– Millenial generation is much more focused on social impact, environmental impact/sustainability, and “simplified” living. There has definitely been a move away from diamonds as millenials don’t want to spend as much as the wedding indsustry/diamond industry/jewelry industry tells us we “should” and a lot more light has been shed on the underbelly of diamond mining and supply control. That’s a big turn off to a lot of Millenials.
Post # 23
Because they sparkle & are pretty. They are also the hardest stone which makes them more durable- a huge plus for a life time of wear! I went with moissanite instead of diamond but it still fit the sparkly & durable category!
Post # 24
TravelingBride31 : I love your answer. And you are totally right, I was the same in going for a colorless sparkly ring, without a second thought really as to why I was getting it (other than ‘tradition’) – I suppose part of it is not so much wanting to be part of the crowd (i.e. ‘yay! Look at all of us with our matching rings!’), but rather not wanting to be on the fringes of what everyone else does. The odd woman out etc.
Your point on millenials is spot on too, I think for ‘us’, the experience of actually getting engaged might be more important than the ring. And to take it step further even, showing how read up and socailly aware you are with your ring purchase, is the new ‘oh look how huge my ring is’. In other words, it’s just the latest way of differentiation…. or conformity… whatever way you want to look at it LOL 😉
Post # 25
I don’t know why people continually post variations of this question when there are a ton of threads that cover the same thing…
There are a ton of reasons why someone would choose a diamond over a sim, and vice versa.
All in all, marketing gets the best of us with both diamonds AND sims, some get a diamond because of tradition, some get a moissy because they want something more affordable.
All in all, who gives a sh*t?
Post # 26
This is also highly dependent on culture and geographic location. Although large diamond engagement rings are the norm in North America, it’s certainly not standard everywhere. I’ve lived in various parts of northern Europe and engagement rings are uncommon here. Wedding band only (either plain or with a small diamond or gemstone) is typical.
Post # 27
I wanted diamonds (my ring is covered in them; it’s not just the center stone) because they’re pretty, durable, and natural. But these threads are usually just an excuse for people with simulants to talk about how diamond owners are sheep for believing a marketing campaign blah blah blah. Just be happy with the ring you got instead of being judgmental of other people’s preferences.
Post # 28
seradela : Definitely agree with this, although I have noticed that younger generations are taking up the engagement ring tradition. I think globalization definitely has something to do with that. Especially in urban areas that I’ve lived (Brussels, Amsterdam, Paris) I’ve noticed that more women in their 20s are receiving American-esque engagement rings. I’d say they are still smaller on average but I definitely am starting to see gem-engagedment (particularly diamonds) in trendy halo styles and classic solitaire styles. Comparatively I almost never see anything other than a plain band on woman in the 35+ age range. Whenever I do, they usually turn out to be expats 😀
Post # 29
catapple : +1000
And can be vice versa for diamond owners putting down sim owners as well. I seriously cannot stand these posts.
We all have our preferences, we’re all different, we’re all subject to marketing schemes and whats “popular”.
If you have a sim and like it, awesome….but it’s not for me.
I have a diamond and like it, awesome…but it might not be for you.
That’s about as deep as it goes.
Post # 30
catapple : 100% not a diamond dis! My moissy is in a large diamond setting. I LOVE diamonds! I was asking more from a ‘sociological’ perspective, in terms of why we follow traditions (even when we know they are ‘created’ by a company). Of course there are plenty of other ‘made up’ traditions that we follow also (flowers on valentines day, mothers day gifts, Red Santa Clause was pushed by Coke, etc.) – but I just think diamonds are super interesting because they are far more expensive than other type of items tied to traditions. Plus, it started out as a De Beers creation, but then became intertwinned with family traditions, girls wanting to get a ring like thier Mom/Grandmother/Aunt etc.,etc.
You might actually have touched on an interesting point though! It does seem to me that no matter how this convo is approached, it does tend to go the same way, with some feeling like diamonds are being dissed, and others feeling they need to overy justify their moissy. I’m certainly not trying to get on any high horse about moissys, believe me 🙂