POLL!!! Why Do we Still Get Diamond Engagement Rings?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Why Do We Still Get Diamond Engagement Rings?
    Because it is tradition : (84 votes)
    26 %
    Because of a successful marketing campaign from De Beers : (106 votes)
    33 %
    Because there isn't enough info on alternative stones : (26 votes)
    8 %
    Because they are beautiful and no other stone compares : (108 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    2278 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    My mom, grandma, and great grandma all had diamond e-rings. So, it feels like tradition. I have a couple of relatives with ruby e-rings, so I love those, too. 

    Post # 47
    Member
    1288 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

    I didn’t πŸ™‚ I’m a proud moissanite owner breaking the cycle

    I think for a lot of folks it’s “just tradition” BUT that tradition started because of the successful DeBeers campaign so saying “because it’s tradition” is literally saying “because of a successful marketing campaign from De Beers” just with more mental hoop jumping added.

    I knew for a long time that I didn’t want a future Fiance of mine to spend a crap ton of money on a ring, and I started looking for non-diamond rings pretty early on in the process. I looked at diamonds first “because tradition” like most do, but quickly discovered ehat a load of bunk that all is. I discovered moissanite and the rest is history. It performs objectively BETTER than a diamond in all areas other than MOHS hardness, and is far more affordable and ethical than mined diamonds. If that bothers you, cry about the kimberly process to someone who cares please. All mined stones might not come from slave labor, but they do all come from MINING of the earth at the cost of huge pollution and damage to the earth, sea, and air. I didn’t want any part of that.

    I absolutely LOVE my ring and nothing can change that, no matter how many people think it’s fake (when they’re being fake on the daily for being so judgy)

    Post # 48
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    I really think the whole diamond thing being the norm is definitely because of marketing – not always because people bought into the marketing but the marketing does put diamonds in this spotlight and draws the attention of those that could truly find them beautiful in their own right (that’s debateable though because maybe some people wouldn’t love diamonds if they weren’t put on a pedastal in the first place). But what’s more flattering/universal for a life-long accessory than a perfectly white, durable, and sparkly stone, right?

    That being said, I was talking to a friend once about alternative stones; she told me she wanted a diamond and the reasons she gave was that 1. she never considered anything else and then 2. she literally quoted a marketing campaign slogan and didn’t even realize it: “Also, well, it’s because they’re forever?” – she never once said that she actually loves or even likes white stones or diamonds.

    No hate on diamonds or those that genuinely think they are gorgeous stones (because they are) and love their innate qualities and that is why they want one or if it’s due to more sentimental reasons – BUT I do give a little bit of a side-eye to those that base that “I want ONLY a diamond” on little else other than having obviously bought into the ol’ marketing ploy. That being said, this was the first time my friend had heard of not having a diamond engagement ring and immediately became intrigued when I mentioned Princess Diana/Kate Middleton’s sapphire ring as a famous example. So yeah, I think the marketing just makes it so that a lot of people might just not even realize there’s other acceptable options out there, but once they’re exposed it does opens doors somewhat.

    Anyway, that was only one instance. Otherwise it seems like a a good number of people in my age group that I have talked to, especially in more urban and city areas, already have their mind made up with either not wanting to get married, not having a ring, or they are super in love with alternative ring options. I have friends that are already engaged with sapphires and aquamarines, or those that have yet to be engaged and have their hearts set on moissanites (because they love the rainbows), “rough” and uncut rustic-looking stones, or just non-stone rings carved to look like twigs and leaves. There’s also definitely more of a shift to placing an emphasis on being different and/or simplifying the lifestyle by not having/spending exorbitant amount of $$$ on an opulent diamond and instead living in the moment (i.e. proposals, eloping) – the moments are also what really makes for great YouTube videos, snapchats, or insta-worthy posts worth sharing lol.

    So yeah, I’m not sure if we’re ever REALLY moving away from the 1940’s ~diamond era~ but I think people are doing less double-takes when it comes to having a non-diamond ring, especially in the early 20’s-30’s crowd (in my own experience). I feel somewhat optimistic that once this current generation kind of takes over and the ideas sort of roll down and snowball into upcoming generations, maybe then we’d truly see a shift? Or at least a shift in the whole inflated pricing of diamonds…? Who knows.

    Also, anyone else see those ads in the spring that the DPA tried releasing on YouTube and Instagram aimed towards millenials? The comments were my ABSOLUTE favorite things to read because it was all just millenials sh*tting on the diamond monopoly and the whole campaign πŸ˜‚ (Diamonds are beautiful and I wouldn’t crap on them because I can appreciate them as much as the next gal, but the whole monopoly run by DeBeers and the DPA’s desperate marketing strategies to try and relate to this generation just makes me roll my eyes so hard haha.) Their slogan: “Real is rare. Real is a diamond.” Like, whoops, I guess my love isn’t real because he got me what I asked for: a moonstone. πŸ™„

    Post # 49
    Member
    2130 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    “Honestly, I will likely never choose to own an alternative stone for those reasons. After having a thought process engrained into you for so long it would be hard for me to own something like a moissy and not look at it as “less than” in some deep part of my mind.”

    Exactly this. I’m totally fine with being swayed by marketing. I go into it with my eyes open. We do many things because of societal expectation and/or advertising from how we dress, act, adorn ourselves, and what we choose as symbols. To me, diamonds are a symbol of engagement, so I choose that. That DeBeers started that tradition to sell their merchandise is irrelevant to me. I still choose it.

     

    Post # 51
    Member
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I chose because of the De Beers campaign on the poll. The diamond is a status symbol because of that campaign and I will openly admit that my FH and I both wanted that status symbol.

    There are other colored stones that look pretty (I don’t like diamond imitators though) but they don’t have the status that the diamond has. I preferred to get a small diamomd (mine is 0.5) over a bigger non diamond rock. The durability is also a plus. My ring will never get old to me. I wear it 24/7, literally. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    MissMul :  These ones, right? πŸ˜†

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_whjfNkvGw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bJ_OXOeUU

    They had just these two, I think! Comments are disabled for the YouTube videos and I think they’ve since combed through and deleted every single critical comment on their instagram posts of the ads! I remember coming across it on IGwhen it first came out and the video literally had 100+ comments just tearing it apart lol. I just checked their account @realisadiamond just now and the same video only has like 4 comments now that are all positive lolol. But I wonder if I searched their hashtag #realisrare on twitter, what would I find πŸ€”πŸ˜‚

    Post # 53
    Member
    1191 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    I’m a millennial, but on the older end (born 1985). I’m also big into science (got my education in it). I did NOT want a diamond, for the following reasons:

    -diamond mining is usually not ethical, and even when it is (buying Canadian diamonds, etc), it still has a big ecological impact.

    -they are not rare, despite what we’re being told.

    -although they’re beautiful, they are equalled by other stones, in my opinion.

    -the amount of money people pay for something so small & pointless (other than sentiment) is just mind blowing.

     

    The reasons I went with moissanite in particular:

    -beautiful

    -appealed to my dorky side by being first discovered in a meteorite

    -lab grown, does not directly disturb any ecological systems

    -far more affordable than diamond

    -still durable enough to be a forever stone 

    Post # 55
    Member
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    MissMul :  for me, it isn’t a status symbol in the sense that it means we have disposable income. I have a 0.5 carat diamond which isn’t that big at all and plenty of ppl with moissy’s have more expensive (& bigger) rings than my diamond. 

    It is a status symbol in that it is traditional and expected and legitimizes our engagement as something to take serious.

    I am a firm believer that all you need is a marriage certificate to have a legitimate marriage but I am not naive or indifferent to outside perception and opinion and I know a small diamond and a traditional but economical wedding is more respected in our families than a more expensive non diamond or an expensive non traditional wedding. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    1447 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I think a lot of men are less likely to buy an alternative stone. Fair or not, a lot of society does judge the man based on the ring he buys for his Fiance, as it “reflects” his “place in life.” A man who is super aware of this might not want to deal with the “what, you couldn’t afford a diamond?” kind of questions that a lot of people (especially the older generation) will ask. As stupid as it is, there is a lot of pressure on men to buy big fancy diamonds for their SOs to (1) prove their committment…gag, and (2) show that they are in a good financial place to get married. 

    I think a lot of women also genuinely prefer diamonds. I know there’s a huge moissy population here, and there is no problem with moissys, sapphires, you name it. I personally wanted a diamond over a moissy (I only wanted a white stone) because the “fire” (thats what that rainbow effect is called, right? I’m not super knowledgable about this) that attracts a lot of people to moissy is a turn off for me. That being said, I still think moissys and other stones are beautiful, I just wanted a diamond because it suited my tastes better. 

     

    Post # 59
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee

    MissMul :  An engagement ring comes from when men would promise to marry a girl and then take liberties with her based on this and then run away never to be seen again. The engagement ring is like a deposit, and it is a declaration to everyone of the promise to marry. Today I will still take both meanings. It is an investment that says my man is serious in his saying he will marry me. It is clear to the whole world from it that I have his heart. My mother did not have an engagment ring but she had a betrothal ceremony from the church, which was insisted on from her parents because my father was a foreign soldier. As for why the diamond?  I can accept a sapphire like Princess Diana. But a diamond goes with everything. And … it is natural. I do not want an artificial thing. I like things to be what they really are meant to be. I like gold that is yellow not white for this reason. If moissanites each came from a meteor then I will like them best. 

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