Post # 1
Long story short.. Darling Husband and I are pregnant with our first child (well I am ) and the baby is due on 2 September.. two of our good friends are getting married on 28 August and Darling Husband is the best man. We are really struggling with that to do because the wedding is 1.5 hours away from our doctor and hospital I am just a little worried about being that far away.
Has anyone travelled that far so close to their due date? I will be speaking with my Doctor about it at my next appointment but I was also after some opinions of mums out there!
Post # 2
I’d just chuck the baby bag and car seat in the car and go! I went well overdue with my first two babies and as long as I had access to a hospital I would’ve happily travelled that short distance.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t go
we was invited to a wedding that sort of distance away 7 days past my due date and I was overdue and my waters broke night after the wedding
Post # 4
It’s a nope for me. My water broke completely out of the blue 12 days before my due date and I would’ve hated to be stuck in a car for 1.5 hrs leaking, hoping I wasn’t losing too much fluid, and worrying about baby.
Post # 5
I would go. 1.5 hours is not that long at all to me but I’m always used to traffic. If you have an indication that you’ll go into labour before then, you can re-evaluate and let your friend know. Most final numbers aren’t due until the week before. Just let them know it may change.
I think it’s like only 15% of women have their water break before they go into labour.
Post # 6
Probably better if you decide now not to go because it’s not clear your husband can fulfill his duties as best man. He could be in the hospital with you the very day of the wedding. Give the couple time to find someone else.
Post # 7
I missed the best man part. I would not agree to that part. Let them find someone else while they can.
Post # 8
The doula in me says yes go but be aware of any progress you’ve made before you make your trip and also know where the closest hospital is and would you feel comfortable giving birth there if you had too. Tbh even though you have your OB, there a pretty strong chance they won’t even deliver your baby
keep open communication with the bride and groom and let them know you are planning on coming but that could change at anytime so they have time to find a back up plan.
Post # 9
Brickette : I wouldn’t go, and husband would not be the best man. Too much uncertainty= stress for everyone. It’s not polite to drag them along and wait either, and i would like to know that husband would be there. 1.5 hour is a long time when it comes to childbirth. No one can predict what will happen, it’s not how you are feeling….
I would say no now so I could focus on other things.
Post # 10
Brickette : no. I mean you could get to the wedding date and feel up for it, but i would not rsvp yes and commit myself because who knows. You could have the baby already, go in to active labor at the wedding, be incredibly uncomfortable, or feel perfectly fine. Who knows? But I wouldn’t RSVP, have them expect the Bridesmaid or Best Man there, pay for your meals etc etc.
My husband’s groomsmen flew from Florida to NC for our wedding and his wife was 39 weeks. She stayed home and he had his phone on loud the entire time (including during the ceremony) so that he could run out and Uber to the airport at the first word of labor. She didn’t have baby til 42 weeks, but I definitely didn’t expect for him to be there – he’s a really good friend apparently. My husband would not have gone and done the same thing haha
Post # 11
I’d talk to the bride and groom. It’s possible you’ll be totally fine to come and it will all be great! It’s possible you won’t have had the baby, but you will not be feeling well enough to make it. You could go into labor while at the wedding, or you could go into labor 2 weeks before the wedding and not make it because you have a newborn. Are they okay with paying for headcount knowing it’s likely you won’t be able to make it (or will leave early?).
You honestly probably won’t know if you can come until right before the wedding. If they’re okay with that, I would try to make the attempt and attend.
Post # 12
I would have your H decline being best man (due to the fact that there’s a chance he won’t make it) and try your best but evaluate closer to the wedding based on how your pregnancy is going. Presumably you are close to this couple so just keep them updated!
Edit: I realized that you’re probably somewhere around 12 weeks right now – does the couple know you are pregnant? (or know your due date when they asked your H to be best man?)
Post # 13
You could very well have the baby by then. To avoid stress, I would have your Darling Husband decline the best man duties and tell them you both will try to make it but given the dates you cannot 100% commit (which is the truth).
Post # 14
I think your husband needs to chat with his friend about the possibility that he may miss the wedding, and just see where they stand. If they’re ok with him (and you) maybe missing it if you go into labor before then I’d probably tell him to continue being the best man, and just go to the wedding with the car packed. Do you have family close by to help in case you go into labor early enough that you’re home in plenty of time for Darling Husband to go to the wedding? Even if he is just at the ceremony?
I was in a similar situation when I had my baby. DH’s friend’s wedding was 2 days before my due date. The wedding was 3.5 hours away BUT the hospital I was delivering at was already 1.5 hrs away from where I live – and was the half way point to the wedding. I figured either way I was driving that distance so I might as well go and have fun. We just talked to the couple and let them know our plan was to come but if for some reason I went into labor we obviously wouldn’t be there. They were totally fine with it. The plan was to just pack the car for the hospital and wedding and go enjoy ourselves.
I ended up going into labor 10 days early. I had a c-section and I think I got out of the hospital on Monday evening, and that Saturday Darling Husband went to the wedding with our friend. His wife opted to stay home as well because she also had a baby just 2 weeks before me. They went up for the wedding and came back that night. In my case I had my MIL/SIL in town visiting to see the baby so I had plenty of help.
Post # 15
I would have gone. And I’m one of the rare women who has precipitous births (fast births). Most first time moms don’t go into labor, statistically until closer to 41 weeks, and labor averages 14 hours. Most women do not experience their water breaking at the onset of labor. I put off doing things for 2.5 weeks before my due date because I thought my second kid was going to come earlier than my first, and then he was 10 days overdue…I would’ve regretted turning down a wedding invite for, well, just sitting around twiddling my thumbs in anticipation.