(Closed) Poll "Would you leave if he was sexting another girl?"

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: "Would you leave if he was sexting another girl and planning on meeting up with her?"
    Hell yes! : (318 votes)
    62 %
    Most likely : (161 votes)
    32 %
    No, explain. : (17 votes)
    3 %
    No, I would forgive him. : (14 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    423 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ve gone through the situation where my ex used to literally beg his ex to take him back while we were living together. He thought I didn’t know about it. Then it was another girl and dirty phone conversations where he used to ask her things like “What are you wearing” when she’s in bed. This in front of me and my sister. He used to ask us to stay quiet so the other girl would not know we existed. Can you believe that? Can you believe I still stayed? For 3 more years? I was crazily in love with him and he didn’t twice before breaking my heart. So yeah, now when I see a poll like this my response is “Hell yeah!” You should so dump such a guy – he’s not even worth licking the dirt under your shoes.

    Post # 78
    Member
    1900 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I voted “No”

    It would depend a lot on the seriousness of the sexting, and whether the planned meet-up was going to involve sex. I’ve got a close guy friend, and he and I often joke about sex, and neither him, myself or my fiance consider it to be sexual.

    Even if it were serious, I think I would try and work it out with him first. I’ve seen couples work through cheating and are still happily married, so I my first thought would be to try and sort things out before leaving.

    Post # 79
    Member
    4430 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Elise, didn’t you say you were officially not going back to him??? Please don’t let a poll justify why you ended it!!!! Be strong.

    Post # 82
    Member
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I voted “most likely,” but like other posters said, that’s because I’m already married. I think I would ask him to move out temporarily but not start drawing up divorce papers, so that we could figure out if it was salvageable via lots of open communication, counselling, etc.

    But if he was trying to flip the blame around on me rather than accepting that he made a mistake and truly being sorry…I wouldn’t let him back. So much of a relationship, to me at least, is trusting that your partner would never intentionally hurt you, and that trust would be completely broken.

    Post # 84
    Member
    96 posts
    Worker bee

    Absolutely, I’d dump his sorry ass. That would be so immature and indulgent of him. That’s cheating for me.

    Post # 85
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’m obviously in the majority, but I stayed. Darling Husband was sexting/e-mailing behind my back a few years ago (before we were engaged), but I made it clear to him that if it continued on, I’d be out the door…

    I absolutely consider it a form of cheating, and did not take the decision lightly. It still bothers me to this day that he’d do something as deceitful as that (especially given his explanation of it being to just “stroke his ego” and because he felt unappreciated), but I’ve learned to trust him again.

    It wasn’t connected to the cheating, but we called off our wedding/engagement back in ’10 for a year. In that time we hashed out a lot of feelings that we had both been keeping in, and learned to communicate more/better.

    Post # 86
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee

    Even if I could forgive I could not forget. I would never trust the guy again. Sexting another woman? Come on, there’s absolutely no respect there. Him having no respect + your lost trust =not good.

     

     

    Post # 88
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @00Elise00:  Oh, trust me–I get it. For the longest time I told Darling Husband that he was lucky I’m a forgiving person, because I was so ready to leave. I actually started packing the night I found out, but after we sat down and had a long discussion, I ultimately chose to stay. Having a daughter together (who was 3-or-so at the time) was another reason I chose to try and work things out… but, if it ever came to the point where I couldn’t forgive him, or get past it, I would have left, regardless of our family.

    You’re right, though–every relationship is different, and I’m so sorry you’re hurting, and can’t seem to get past it. If you truly feel in your heart that you really can’t bare it any longer, then you need to stop putting yourself through it…

    Whatever you choose, I hope you find true happiness.. *hugs*.

    Post # 89
    Member
    1290 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Im in the group of I would have to decide when it happened to me. There are quite a bit of factors to consider.

    My heart tells me that I wouldn’t be able to forgive him though, and the trust (which is most important) would be absolutely shot.

    Post # 91
    Member
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @00Elise00:  Yeah, he’s a douchebag and I would not forgive him.  If he was doing it right in front of you, he doesn’t give a shit.

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