Post # 1
Hey Bees. So Fiance and I have been working out the finances, and working with our parents, and we realized that if we wait an extra year to a year and half (we were planning for 2017, would need to move to 2018) then we could potentially have double the budget. Right now we have about $8k to work with (My dad putting 5, my mom’s parents putting in 2k, us putting in 1k or more, can’t do more right now because Fiance is injured and cannot work for the next few months). If we waited the extra year to year and a half, my Dad says he can give us $10k (or more) instead of the 5k. My grandparents would potentially give us an additonal 1-2k, and we could save 2-4k more. So, it would pretty much doube our budget. Is it worth it? For various reasons, I can’t see us having more than eighty guests, really closer to forty to sixty I’m thinking, because we live in Northern California and all our family and friends almost all live in the south and most won’t be able to make it. We have only been here a year or so, and we’ve lived in two different areas, so we don’t have a ton of friends here just yet.
So, would it be worth it to wait a year, or more, for a budget of 14-17k versus a budget of $8k for a fairly small wedding?
Post # 2
I think you should definitely be waiting until you can afford more of the wedding yourself happens far to often on here that money is promised but the person doing the promising cannot follow through also he who pays gets the final say your giving a lot of control up there by having lots of fingers in the pie
Post # 3
This depends on the type of wedding you want to have. $8k is definitely doable for less than 100 guest. Double that would open up a lot of optionS. Look at venues in your area and then decide
Post # 4
Definitely understand what you mean, but my Dad is very fair, and he gave my sister 5k for hers years ago, so he said that is the minimum I would get for mine. I’ve been much more finanically independent than my sister and that is why he is willing to give me more if I wait longer to give him time. He is a contractor and is waiting on a deal to go through that would secure him about $200k, so I know it will be doable if we wait, probably more easily than him doing the 5k if we don’t. Also, he was going to give my step sister 5k for a wedding in 2018, but she got pregnant and had a JOP wedding and doesn’t want to do one now, so basically I am getting to absorb her budget if I wait.
Post # 5
janeblack: Darling Husband and I got engaged in December 2013 and had a big holiday planned for July/August 2014, so we knew anything before summer 2015 was out of the picture budget wise. We got married in September 2015.
I think it was definitely worth it. We had a perfect day, everything was as we wanted it, and I had had a lot of time to plan so othing was lwft to the last minute.
Post # 6
I’d say to look at venues and prices of vendors, before you decide. 8k doesn’t get you much around here, even with 40-60 guests, if you provide a full meal, alcohol, music, etc.
I.e. My 2nd daughter married the year after her sister. Althought they only hosted 40% of the number of guests (95 vs. 225), total costs were about 60% of the 1st wedding. They chose a venue that had a rental fee, plus there are other fairly fixed costs, such as a florist (less centerpieces only), photographer, videographer, and the band.
The 2nd daughter had a smaller budget, for her wedding, because she decided to use some of the $$$ we had budgeted for it, to put a down payment on a house. Otherwise, both would have gotten the same dollar amount, to use as they wish, whether it was an elopement to the Caribbean or a big wedding, with the whole 9 yards.
Post # 7
I voted other in the poll. I don’t think it’s worth waiting. The reason I say this is that you can already have a beautiful wedding with the amount of money you currently have. IMO, it wouldn’t be worth waiting another year to spend more money on one day.
Though if you’re dying for a wedding that will cost more, it might be worth it to you. Its your wedding and you can plan it however you’d like!
Post # 8
That’s what we are doing. We can have a tight wedding or we can do what we want in 2018. No diy anything, everything crisp and new.
We also have a predominantly uk based guest list and we are in Australia, so we have to give people time to get here.
Post # 9
If it was me I would wait. Wedding expenses add up fast! And for us we are paying for it 100% on our own. We are getting engaged within the next few months and will most likely have a 2 year engagement. It does depend on the wedding you want though.
Post # 10
We wanted to be married more than having a perfect wedding so we didn’t wait. If you think you’re giving up things for having the wedding sooner (rather than it being just as good but different) then you two should wait. As important as the wedding is, it’s important to remember it’s only one day.
Post # 11
Nope! We live our lives on borrowed time. Living as a happily married couple sooner sounds soooo much more appealing than dragging out the wedding planning process, IMO.
Post # 12
I voted other as it really depends what kind of wedding you want.
Fiance and I were in the same situation; wait until 2018, save more and have a big-ish wedding (80 guests) or get married in 2017 with just parents, grandparents, siblings and neices/nephews (36 guests).
To compare, our intimate beach wedding with a restaurant ceremony is costing us less than $7k whereas the bigger wedding at the botanical gardens was going to be AT LEAST $20k. And we’re paying for everything ourselves.
We chose to get married next year as, 1. I did not grow up thinking about a “dream wedding” and just can’t fathom spending an insane amount on one day. 2. We both just want to be husband & wife so why wait?
If you want the big dream wedding, wait, if that is not important to you, get married next year.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t wait simply because I am itching to get married as is. Fiance and I currently don’t live together and we decided around 9 months ago to stop having sex until we were married. I am SUPER ready for the wedding to just get here already! I would rather scale down a wedding than postpone starting our lives together. That being said, if your lives would not drastically change post-marriage and it is important to you to have a certain type or size of wedding, then it might be worth waiting in your case.
Post # 14
i think it depends on how long you’ve been waiting etc- we were in the same position but decided not to wait. We’ve been together a long time and decided we didnt want to wait any longer.
also depends on your personaility- do you want to be wedding planning/saving for two years? I decided I couldnt spend that long on pinterest. Delaying the wedding by a year for budget puts more pressure on it. At the end of the day it’s just a day. after the wedding would rather be saving towards buying a bigger home etc.
Post # 15
I voted ‘no’ for several reasons, some that may not apply to you at all, but that’s okay. So first of all, your budget is more than I voluntarily chose to spend on my own wedding, so obviously it’s enough for me. Second I wouldn’t never wait longer than necessary to have my wedding, because what I wanted was not the show, it’s the marriage. Third, I am a cheap person in general – I shop around, I take a long time to make larger financial decisions, and I think blowing a lot of money on a single day is a huge waste. It could go toward mortgage or rent, it could go into your savings account – I truly hope you’ve got more than a thousand bucks in there. I’d actually feel really guilty taking so much money from my parents for a wedding, though they have gifted us extremely generously to help with our house, which is a fixer-upper (similar to you and the wedding, we will probably get what my sister was gifted for her house). Now that’s not to say I’m right or wrong – I don’t need a bunch of people jumping down my throat about it – this response is based entirely on the financial decisions my husband and I feel are appropriate.
The only reason I’d wait in your position is if it’s necessary for your fiance to carefully heal from whatever happened to him. Nothing to do with the money flow at all.