(Closed) Poll: Would you want to know if your SO cheated before the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Would you want to know if your SO cheated on you before the wedding?
    Yes! I don't want to commit the rest of my life to someone who cheats and lies! : (182 votes)
    79 %
    Yes, but only if he had sex with someone else. Kissing and things like that don't count. : (4 votes)
    2 %
    No! Ignorance is bliss! : (4 votes)
    2 %
    No, unless it was with a friend. I don't care if it was with a stranger. : (0 votes)
    No, unless it was recently. If it happened 2-3 years ago, I don't care. : (28 votes)
    12 %
    No, unless it happened more than once. One instance of cheating is no big deal. : (11 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3383 posts
    Sugar bee

    Yes. I wouldn’t marry a cheater. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    1733 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes. As hard as it would be, I would rather be embarrassed than be a fool.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9437 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I feel like I should say yes, because I don’t want to marry a cheater. But in all honestly, no I don’t want someone to tell me my Fiance cheated on me, especially if it was only once. Ideally, I’d want my Fiance to tell me himself but he isn’t going to I’d rather not hear it from someone else.

    Post # 5
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee

    I would want to know if it was a serious relationship with someone else. I wouldn’t want to know, nor would I care, about a one-night stand or other temporary slip up. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee

    I would want to know if it was anything more than kissing that happened more than once. So I’m kinda a combo of several poll choices. I’m with backtothestart in that I would want to know if it were serious (for me that’s more than a kiss) and if it were more than a slip up. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I think I responded to another post you might written, if you are the same person who slept with a guy while he was dating his now fiancee, and are now considering telling her what happened.  Yes yes yes. A thousand times yes.  I would want to know.  Once a cheater, always a cheater. And I’ve been cheated on and am so glad my ex bf told me. If he hadn’t, I would have continued living a lie and would have wanted to know what he did, even if it was the other girl to tell me what happened. If you are indeed that other poster, tell her what happened!  You will save her from a future of heartache and deceit.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1767 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    backtothestart: You wouldn’t care at all if he slept with someone else just because it was a one-time thing? Does that mean that he is free to have as many one-night stands as he wants as long as they don’t turn into a “serious relationship”?

    Post # 9
    Member
    1974 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    It depends. If it was years ago, was one time, and at the very beginning of our relationship then no. If it was recent and I was potentially about to marry the muppet then yes. Absolutely.

    Post # 10
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee

    View original reply
    Sukii:  I think people are allowed to make mistakes. If his infidelity was a mistake, like a one-night stand with someone he never saw again, and it never happened again, I would be angry but not unforgiving. Going behind my back for months, though, would not be acceptable.

    I think it’s really hard, at least for me, to see cheating in black and white. It would totally depend on the situation and people involved.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7440 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Entering a marriage with a lie or ommision of that scale does not set a good foundation for a healthy marriage. I would rather have everything out on the table

    Post # 12
    Member
    2156 posts
    Buzzing bee

    yes, i would want to know. not necessarily because of the cheating per se (i mean, it would be a *serious* issue, but not an automatic dealbreaker), but because of the honestly factor. i would hope he would have the balls to tell me himself (that is a situation we could potentially work through), but for someone else to tell me would probably be a game ender.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2956 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would want to know so that I have the choice of how to proceed knowing all facts.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1720 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If it was one time years ago and only a kiss then no I wouldn’t want to know (that’s what I take from reading between the lines of your post) because honestly that isn’t something I would break up with someone over and it would be really shitty to have something that small hanging a negative cloud over my engagement/wedding since in the end I know I would get over it 

    I’m picturing something like a late drunk night that goes a little too far but he realizes before it goes all the way and he leaves and it never happens again  

    it was recent, or multiple times or full on sex then I would want to know for sure 

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    10286 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Was it accidental sex? 🙂 

    The topic ‘Poll: Would you want to know if your SO cheated before the wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

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